We cant leave Pikachu and Donkey Kong alone in the same room together or they will start fucking.

To show solidarity with the general strike tomorrow we will be making all of our games 25 dollars cheaper. 1 day only. Shop til ya drop!

Society has moved past the need for public education. Wanna learn history? Play Civ IV. Wanna get into the medical field? Dr. Mario. Wanna learn about Communism? Too bad!

We're making a side scroll Sopranos game where you play as Tony and collect gabagool on your way to therapy.

We're now making the physical games taste like candy so if you dont like the game at least you get to have a lil treat. For legal reasons we have to tell you not to eat it or you'll die but like 😉

Wanna feel old? This is Yoshi in 2026.

We know you loooove our video games so now we're adding a tip menu after you digitally buy a game so you can show us some love. Totally optional but if you dont tip the game WILL lag.

We at nintendo like to think outside of the box. That's why we're working a new controller that is also a gun so you can defeat your enemies in real life. Now in multiplayer mode.

Our employees are not allowed to have friendships or spend time with their families. A small price to pay to make sure you get a steady flow of pokemon slop.

Mario is NOT a plumber. He works for the CIA. He just happens to like hanging out in sewers.

21-year-old activist injured by ICE: I will be blind for life. I have fractures in my skull that they can't fix. They pulled a piece of plastic the size of a nickel out of my eye. I had shards of metal, glass, and plastic behind my eye and in my skull. They said it was a miracle I survived.

We're creating a new open world game called "Going Outside" where you walk around your neighborhood in real life. It costs 70 dollars.

We had to stop making bomberman games cuz he kept showing ppl how to make IEDs.

Stream will be starting an hour late today at 2pm EST See yall soon ✌️

The seizure warnings we give are just for legal reasons. You can have a lil seizure if you want to.

transgender for everybody ✊

We actually invite everyone to unnecessarily sexualize our characters: Isabelle, Cranky Kong, Olimar, etc. Have at it. The $80 game prices aren't bringing in new customers, for some reason, so we'll take any attention we can get

Will it help yall like the switch 2 more if we call it dada art? Can we charge more if we say that??

Death to America

Dont kill the part of you that's cringe. KILL BOWSER!

Remember when we made Chrono Trigger 30 years ago and ppl kept buying our products thinking they'll get another game as cool as that? Well now we finally did it. Try our new game: Chrono Trigger Remastered!

Sorry friends, no stream today. Just ended up being too busy. Will be back next week Cheers ✌️

STOP SPREADING MALICIOUS LIES! LUIGI IS NOT MARIOS SUB!! HE'S HIS OWN MAN! LUIGI WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH HIS BROTHER BECAUSE HE'S ASEXUAL!!!!

The ship is sinking folks. Civilization is doomed! The end is near!! Do you really want to die before you get to play Mario Party Jamboree on Switch 2?

Sorry about all the cockroaches ☹️

Hello everyone We were originally planning on doing our usual stream tomorrow, but with trying to host a party and whatnot things have built up, so we're taking the week off Hope you all have a lovely winter solstice and a merry holiday of your choosing Peace & Love ✌️💜

We like to think of ourselves as a hetero company. If it was up to us, gays would not be allowed to play nintendo.

Pikmin are sperms

We now sell a lil guy you can buy who will play games for you so you can read and do taxes and pay attention to your wife, like an adult.

Kirby is based off a real guy who does that.

Stream is gonna be about an hour late today, around 2pm EST Just stuck on the phone figuring out somw insurance stuff atm See you soon

We now sell prosthetic arms that hold the steering wheel for you so you can play Mario Kart while actually driving.

If you put your switch in the middle of a pentagram under a full moon, you can summon Bowser and order him to kill your enemies in real life.

We are in talks with Trent Reznor to begin development on the NIN-tendo.

We were blasted on meth and heroin when we designed the N64 controller. I thought that was obvious.

We're making a new smash bros where you don't fight at all. It's just gay group sex and you win by getting the least cucked.

We apologize for both young Link and adult Link being on Epstein Island (for different reasons) That's our fuck up and we will rectify it with some discounts.

9/11 simulator is in the works ☺️

Once again, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE DRUGS WHILE PLAYING NINTENDO!!! We WILL arrest you!

Fuck you

You asked and we listened. We're adding tiddies and a dick to Hornet in Silksong.

We are releasing a new special edition controller that is very stinky.

In the next Mario game, enemies can bleed.

Gex is bi now. We just decided.

I keep being attacked by my own audience They're calling me a gamer 😬

My procrastination is so bad it's bleeding over into how i play video games. Im playing silksong like "i dont need to fight this boss. Pretty sure i just need to run around willy nilly through every area of the map 100 more times."

We will be live on twitch soon letting you know where you can find all the black friday deals. These deals are cheap and the cost is worth it. Buy now!

The stream will be live soon. Ellie is doing a solo one today. Prepare for lots of Nubbys Number Factory and negative opinions about the new Frankenstein. She says the monster is too sad and should cheer up and go to Panera.

Every time Elden Ring tries to remind me I can craft things. Pls no just let me hit bad guys with a stick

Videogames are the future. Like if you agree :3