God there needs to be more I can do for those in the states right now than just "be there" and "be supportive" I can't provide physical care, or local housing, or fight legislation, or offer protections... Even if I could provide safe harbour, it's not like anyone can just leave there on a whim—

Upside: went to bed earlier than normal, a respectable time even Downside: only went to bed because my downer mood got too overwhelming and I started crying my eyes out so badly I couldn't focus Ah well. At least I slept, and I guess sometimes I just need a good cry

It's rough trying to get my head in order sometimes when there's so many different things drawing me in all different directions at once But we're always fine in the end after all, so I'm sure we'll find a reliable way to navigate things eventually For now, take care, be safe, and goodnight all 💕

Stayed up late again but at least this time we were working on an actually useful project :] Really gotta make a priority list for all this stuff at some point Really could use some organisation Goodnight all <3

Another night staying up late working on a project I'll probably never release Why must I hyperfixate on the dumbest distractions Oh well. At least it's the weekend now so no work Night all 💕

I really wanna buy some new clothes and experiment more finding my style But god... I struggle going out shopping on my own, and everything online is always so expensive T~T

was thinking of going for a nap, only to realise i need to pick my hrt up today because i ran out... why couldn't past me remember to do these things... i just wanna sleep T^T

One day I will go to sleep at a normal time One day... Oh well

I truly hate the fact the one good coping mechanism I had to bitch about/organise my thoughts was violated when someone else read through my journal I don't blame them but it did hurt me in a way I can't put into words, and I've been unable to use my journal since 😮‍💨 Anyway, time to crash Nini all 💕

I'm sure somewhere out there across the rift is a very handsome set of counterparts to my gorgeous gals 🤭

Late nights where I ponder such profound questions like Am I ever going to finish the projects I start Will my tits grow large enough that I'll be happy Why does my copy of DeS hate me so Is it possible to be suffering from hug withdrawals Do I have to work tomorrow Should I get more energy drink

Ugh stupid headache What's the point in having a brain if all it's gonna do is hurt when I wake up 😔

I wish I could be there for everyone Help assuage their worries and fears for the future Hold and comfort all those who need it But I struggle even just being there for myself most days Please be kind to yourselves and those around you Be there for those you can, and above all, be safe 🫂

Stayed up so late I ended up crashing at 9am I am sore, but at least my heart doesn't feel like it's going to explode now And I've mostly regained some steadiness in my hands I do not know what compelled me to keep drinking more and more cans yesterday, but I do not recommend it 😅

i think i drank too many energy drinks

so tired

Wow. First time I've had a nightmare about the fire alarm system going off New people moved in downstairs and have set it off twice now burning food, but god the high pitched sounds bring me such distress for some reason it's now causing me nightmares 😭 I just know it's going to go off again...

sleepy cat

i feel like sleeping for a long time

Never going to bed at a reasonable time again Woke up at 3am drenched in sweat and dehydrated as fuck 😭

If you see this, QRP with your OC smiling :>

Such a strange assortment of gear But female Hrothgar are now updated with all ARR gear Progress is being made, even if it's been a bit hard getting myself working on things again It's nice though, though would be good if I didn't keep staying up so late on days I have work in the morning...

Troebfohc - she/her trohb-fok Rhoksann - she/her roks-ann Eulalia - any yoo-lei-lee-uh Liliyopa - he/him Li-lee-yo-paa Also, in case you were ever curious about my username pronunciation :) Roxl Luikhart Roks-el Loo-ik-hart

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I struggle to know if I've made friends unless they tell me outright, so I just try to be friendly and caring in all interactions Some will stick around, some I only hear from sometimes, and some I might never see or hear from ever again And that's ok. I just hope everyone's alright out there 💕

Well, I don't like doing this but given my situation this is probably my only option that doesn't involve borrowing money I can't pay back. ko-fi.com/estelleblanc...

The deep, longing desire to be social and hang out more with others VS my minuscule social battery that can be drained for days at a time from the smallest of interactions 😮‍💨

Slowly getting there I am glad the new way I'm doing it keeps physics functioning :D It'll probably break again if SE actually adds the missing headgear, but oh well That's just normal at this rate

Sometimes you just gotta help your friend reach the top of that frigid peak, just so they can roar to their hearts content like the behemoth that they are

I like this little stats screen for heliosphere because like damn do I forget sometimes just how many people actually use my mod

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Nothing feels real anymore. We are losing our home, we will be evicted. Things were turning around but we just cant make it. This is my last try. Im sorry, looks like i wont be coming back. #VtubersWithDisabilities ♿️

oh also i've updated the old mod files everywhere to remove the modified hairs just until the revamps done i suppose 🤷‍♀️

The benefit of the hat mod revamp is that I will no longer have to fight game limitations to pick between physics and visors So both races will have fully functioning physics and visors :3 AND I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO MARK THE OLDEST UNFIXED HAT MOD BUG AS FIXED!!!!!!!

idk how i managed it, but somehow i've made two different meals for dinner, completely unaware i was already cooking something else... maybe i should sleep more but i guess i'm having a larger dinner tonight

it's great having to interact with extended family members because they come knocking unannounced and won't go away until I answer Even better is how little any of them actually learnt my name because I am cousin: Roz, Rev, or Roseanne to most of them At least they won't use my dead name anymore 🙃

Thinking about getting some piercings as I straddle the line of conciousness

Each day I grow more and more concerned about the safety and well-being of my trans friends all over the world I wish the world wasn't beset by such vitriolic bigotry, and countries weren't about to plunge even further down I wish do more to help everyone Please be safe and look after each other 🫂

As I'm uploading the initial wip mod builds, I'm realising just how many pieces of headgear I'm going to have to actually edit It's kind of overwhelming faced with a fresh start on it all I'll get through it all eventually, but boy it is interesting Also the amount of hats viera don't get smh

I think nothing encapsulates the silliness of FF14's gear automatic racial scaling on Hrothgar than this little test I did 😂 Heavy Iron Armor Left: Base game Right: Added the head bone

another night of wondering if theres something more than just depression thats making my mood swing wildly around god im in so much pain i hope i pull through ok in the end

I wanna believe it's because of these two goobers, but I know full well it's probably because of all the modding 😅

Well, I have now begun the hat mod revamp Starting with Hrothgals, there are 127 missing headgear for Hrothgar alone, and so many more that I am compelled to fix... There are so many little problems it feels like they have not put any thought into how to adapt things to the more bestial face shape🤔

Can't believe no one will ever get to witness my cat ever again After how far she's come 😔 Anyway I finally made an outfit for her that I'm actually happy with :> Not quite sold on the shoes, but I haven't found a nicer replacement yet

RT if you also wish ill upon JK Rowling.

I'm too tired to deal with all this I'm going back to bed

oh god damn it because steam dropped paypal as a payment provider, my subscription failed to auto-renew and now automatically renewing is going to be even more of a pain god damn payment processors can kiss my ass these days

Being drawn to do so many different projects all at once that I end up dissociating and doing nothing 😮‍💨

God I need to find local friends that I can go steal a hug from/give a hug to on the growing occasions that I need to

half asleep and hella dysphoric anyone know a good way to increase breast tissue? could really do with some much bigger boobs right about now g'night all