Saw tadc on friday with my partner and it's still stuck in my head So many complex thoughts on it all, but it was a really good one I struggle so much with getting in to new shows and stories because I get so attached to the worlds and then they always end poorly or not at all

It's nice staying up late and being there for others when they need someone Only downside is I am so sleepy after ;^;

I really need to share just how adorably cute this little plush I got is

Finally watched all of fallout with my partner and suddenly being incredibly aware how much I say "okey dokey" 😅

Debating if I should stay up for the next 6ish hours or try to sleep through all the excitement and worry

Partner arrives tomorrow morning and I am both extremely excited and unbelievably stressed out I'm sure everything's gonna be fine and its going to be a great time having them down again, but god this stressed feeling is churning my stomach in a bad way

Yay pride month time! 🏳️‍🌈 Remember to support your local community and continue the fight for the rights of all of us. Ended up adding a lot more flags than I intended, but hey. What's new there 😅 Almost got to 100 this time Download below! Enjoy!

Ugh. A pleasant wake up nap interrupted yet again by people who really should just break up instead of arguing, smashing things, and shouting at each other on a Monday morning At least my partner will be here soon so I can tune it all out better

really envious of those who can just casually make phone calls to places or people and not get put into a debilitating state of panic that lasts for hours trying to make a single call phone calls aren't hard to make so why the fuck does my entire nervous system shut down trying

Gotta remember to go in to town and downsize my mouth piercings tomorrow Debating if I should get another piercing with it though 😄

i think i sliced the tip of my tongue last night really should look in to getting rid of that metal stuck on the back of my teeth

It's nice that my boots still initiate conversations with random folks when I'm out and about I feel like I need to learn what the common hair care routine is though because everyone seems surprised asking what mine is and I just say I wash my hair every night

It's really cool having hyper-realistic dreams where your brain can't differentiate between reality and fiction Sometimes I get real bangers like one of my kinks, other times, trauma and death The most common one recently has been having whole ass text convos with folks i know...

kinda want to make another mod thing for next month but idk what yet already made a hat and a scarf perhaps another accessory like rings, or maybe some glasses

I miss my cats Might see if I can get these ones tattooed on instead of the clean scans I have

Can't sleep Heart rate too elevated, brain too self-loathingly active I think I need to be held

Why can't things just work properly for me for once in my life

mindlessly spinning and moving the piercings in my lip like hmmm maybe it's time i go get them downsized 😅

well i'm about at the end of my rope trying to figure this one out clean installs of everything from the OS up and it still happens at random. if anyone's got any more ideas on how to fix this blender crash, please let me know i just wanna animate things again damn it T^T

It's fun getting really emotional over little things Like cool I saw something really sweet and now I'm going to cry about it for the next hour 😭 Sappy as shit istg Anyway, OS once again reinstalling, and gonna be looking to get my roo made soon ^𖥦^

Been craving making pancakes again for a while now Finally got the drive to go out to the shops today and guess what I forgot to get... Stupid stupid brain

I feel exhausted

Finally resetting my pc Hopefully it'll solve my issues and I can get back to working on a project for longer than a few minutes at a time Not quite ready to learn a new OS just yet though so still going to be dealing with shit Just hoping no more random crashes and bsods

i kinda miss making fuckass character designs in a game no one cares about and making dumb stuff with them

Hate how debilitating it is to make phone calls It's important for my future mental state to make them But why must it take so much out of me to even try

Ah yes. My dream job Truly matches my skill set

It saddens me just how much older generations don't understand how god awful generative ai actually is in creative, developmental, ethical, and environmental aspects I know some who champion environmentally friendly ideals, yet can't go without their chatbots and image generators 😮‍💨

I'm having so much fun!

I need to animate something again But what do I animate with no models or inspiration And I still need to fix my computer Why does my brain just not work Why won't it shut up and let me sleep T^T

i really need to get out some more to make up for being so still the past few days

Just a few more to go...

I'm realising more and more that I can't keep going out double layered like I'm used to Gotta start wearing shirts on their own, or just the tank/cami tops My body runs too hot And I still mentally can't wear shorts or skirts alone, so I really gotta let my skin breathe somehow

Sucks waking up in a sweat because the ambient temperature in the morning is getting so cold that I start shivering and all my blankets and bedding are now chilled from the sweat so it's hard to warm back up

Happy Mother's day To all those who are trying their very best, to those who have taken on the role for those that needed it May you have a wonderful day

Internal bleeding btw That's what kept coming up Impossible to confirm besides throwing up more blood, or endoscopy Airways aren't obstructed, no severe pains, nausea, or light-headedness Just muscle soreness and headaches Likely just minor trauma from violently throwing up

Eh fuck it Not like anyone's really going to care

God I just can't stop crying

It's cool looking up causes for the symptoms I experienced yesterday and everything's like "seek immediate medical attention" I'm sure it's not that bad by this point 😌

Got a couch that becomes 2 proper beds just in case friends ever needed a place to crash My mother calling me at 3am: hey can I sleep at your place ._. Well, at least I know they're all set up and ready in quick time

the great debate between I should eat some food because I need to eat and am hungry vs I still feel like throwing up and kinda worried about it A great dilemma

That sounds like a terrible idea

Need an insta-cure for cruddy flu sicknesses iswtg At least my nose finally stopped running Wish folks wouldn't go out and spread their sick to others though

Blegh Need this flu to be over asap

Ugh... the only trouble with going out places is sometimes you share a space with someone who really should've stayed home and end up catching sick from them 🤒 Feels like my head and sinuses need to be flushed out

dont think i'm getting any pvp done tonight... maybe tomorrow

Late nights got me thinking how I often feel an intense draw towards more otherian and nb self-expressionism, and how nice it would be

while it would be nice if any jobs would get back to me, i have been enjoying my walks and wanders around town i wonder what i shall see in the city tomorrow

no one dares misgender you when you go out with dark enough circles under your eyes and a resting death stare 😄 wish i could be plagued by the fun nightmares and not the 'hey here's this traumatic memory' ones

Fuck having nightmares This shit sucks

Don't get in to modding because you saw something that you believed was an easy fix 🤣 But nah, for reals though I think it'd just be to socialise more. There were likely tonnes of opportunities I've had to make good friends that passed by because I wouldn't or couldn't comfortably talk to others