it's really cool that of all the potentially dangerous and risky activities i have/do/can take part in, accepting food from my family continues it's reign as most likely to kill me 🫠

Sometimes I'm reminded of how sketch my online-only login for work is, and laugh

relapsing after 7 years fucking sucks, but it was better than the alternative please be safe out there, and take care of each other as best you can

you'd think, with all my progress in handling my social anxieties, that I'd be able to make plans and phone calls without freaking out to the point of throwing up by now guess not 🫠

What if, instead of sleeping, I just lay half awake shaking and convulsing the entire night and become physically incapable of staying upright instead? God I feel like shit

my dishevelled ass brain has been manually populating the debug model viewer list tonight, and i keep finding stuff that i haven't seen listed anywhere that usually documents the cut content stuffs probably been found by someone before, but it's been kinda neat to discover

I may now be mega sad the one set of piercings I really really REALLY wanted probably can't be done because my lips fuckin suck I guess, but I did make a cute lil friend so i guess the day wasn't a complete waste of mental effort

vibing out to random edm mixes while working on stuff and suddenly remembering that im going in to get my face stabbed tomorrow :D never got a call or message saying they can't do my mouth ones so here's hoping anyway, gnight all

now a whole roster of critter masks in *and* solved a couple of annoying issues i ran in to in the past honestly this has been a breath of fresh air to work on in my limited mental state as everything feels like progress also i can do dumb shit like this 🤭

The receptionist at my doc keeps rejecting my appointment requests because I'm "not on file and the doc isn't taking new patients" Been going there for years but I update my name and suddenly I don't exist again I'm glad my curse of never existing on file continues to haunt me🙄

Got halfway through adding all the animal masks I made before my program started exporting polygon soup We stan barely functional programs in this household 😤 Anyway, nini all 💕

behold your slayer of demons

Well that's not a worrying notification to get after being away for some time >.>

Sometimes I get interesting job email recommendations Like any foxes out there want their dream job 😄

coming up with names and descriptions are hard going to be interesting throwing these newly split sets around the place though :)

Always cute when lil critters pose for their picture Cw: small green spider

Ahh nothing quite like a reminder of my own mortality in the form of a burst bag of mixed nuts strewn all over the place at work I'm sure whoevers on the next shift can deal with that nonsense but I am not risking having a reaction for this job of all things

This DeS mod is very quickly getting out of hand, but enjoyers of fashion, deers, mosquitoes, and various reptiles may enjoy the recent additions I've made No spoilers yet tho 🤫 Honestly it's been a blast discovering the whacky modding hijinks I can do in a different game 😅

If I had a dollar every time one of my "small" modding projects had me staying up late cataloguing and re-assigning gear ID values, I'd have enough for a good coffee right about now Good lord why do I keep doing this to myself 🫠

Oh hey the exhaustion finally caught up Nothing like a sudden unplanned nap on the floor to really highlight your own tiredness 🫠 G'night all 💕

There's something really funny going from getting interrupted at work by random dudes flagging me down and starting conversations about stuff, to now their wives doing the exact same thing instead Guess everyone has deemed me approachable at work now 😅

God the temptation some nights to isolate in such a way that wipes away my entire online and offline presence, and become uncontactable is insane I need sleep so badly

Be safe, be kind to yourselves, and support each other out there Goodnight

I've somehow broken the navmeshes without touching them and now he just stares at me instead 😭

My kind of luck in action Start up computer, open blender, and it crashes No worries, that happens sometimes now Open a different program, and the entire area loses power Ah. Ok. Fine then.

Kinda sucks having all your feelings of self worth set entirely by how useful you feel to others when there's no one around to help Like good job brain. You've set yourself up for repeated failure once again Why can't you just be happy with all the good shit you've already done

Anyway, goodnight everyone Be safe out there my friends

Kinda depressing and blegh watching myself just sit there and dissociate instead of attempting any of the routines I've been trying to implement while waiting for adhd meds I want to get in shape, I want to sleep at proper times, I want to stop being so fucking tired all the time

while it was painful to accept the assistance, there was something cathartic watching someone who constantly claimed to know me better than anyone, realise that actually they don't know the first thing about me 😄

It's cool doing stuff that requires my id cards during the "less than 23 days" wait for all of my useful gov cards to get redelivered Surely some day soon they'll arrive and I definitely won't have to chase government entities up once again for all of that

Fuck I wish I could sleep longer than a couple hours at a time Can't wait until I hit the next stages of deprivation soon

kinda sucks getting good feels wearing overalls with a front pocket pouch set up but it absolutely not being my kind of style in the slightest ;~;

don't wanna go to work today, but gotta save up (:

Only thing holding me back now is navmeshes, lighting, and getting draw/display groups right :) Two whole levels done Hmm what place to m̷a̷n̷g̷l̷e̷ modify next 🤔 Also if anyone's got a nice recommendation for a blender lightmap renderer I'd be very appreciative

Only thing holding me back now is navmeshes, lighting, and getting draw/display groups right :) Two whole levels done Hmm what place to m̷a̷n̷g̷l̷e̷ modify next 🤔 Also if anyone's got a nice recommendation for a blender lightmap renderer I'd be very appreciative

i sure do love sitting at my desk and randomly discovering i am bleeding from somewhere like ok i don't recall injuring myself but i guess i'm dealing with wherever this came from

why I gotta be so sleepy

Everytime I see some cute or cool art of a character with piercings I am reminded I really should get the rest of mine done at some point

Always disheartens me hearing how folks get burnt by false offers of assistance or support from their peers Performative offers to "help" or "be there" for someone just suck and makes it harder for anyone to trust those who actually mean what they say

Randomly remembering the time I pissed off my English teacher in high school because I couldn't write an essay on who my idol was and why I looked up to them Apparently it was a very simple task, but I never idolised or looked up to anyone in my life and didn't know what it meant 🤷‍♀️

The 8th is international women's day And if you forgot that, you should totally go and support all the awesome women in your life to make up for that 😌↕️

That moment of wanting to show off all the really dumb shit I've created in demon's souls so far but also wanting it to be a horrifically funny surprise 😄

If one more company actively hinders their website functionality just to tell me to use their app instead, I am going to become very violent

nothing like staying up late making perfectly normal edits to the hit 2009 game demon's souls while listening to a gorillaz album on repeat :)

games that made me :) my9games.com

It's great because I'm normally driven to complete projects by sudden bursts of hyperfixated motivation and the constant crashing has really been sorting that out for me... 🫠

ugh i keep feeling so tired T^T

oh my god functional brain me stocked up on so much chocolate milk i forgot entirely i had picked some up to last me the week and just had like 3 bottles fell from precarious spots when i opened the fridge

I need to find somewhere that does nice custom tattoos at some point

The cool thing about being tall is accidentally smashing your knees into the dashboard and steering column when you pick your car up from the mechanic or when anyone else drives it before you