My first article of the year for Psychology Today is on sexual compulsivity. We are in a fascinating new era of assessments and treatments for compulsive sexual behaviours. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/talk...

How did you spend the first day of the year? I took a long walk in the beautiful Hampshire countryside. Connecting with nature is becoming increasingly important to me.

Wishing you all a wonderful, restful and fun Christmas! ❤️🎄❤️🎄❄️

Christmas is associated with family so it can be very non-sexy. However, statistics show that the viewing of Christmas-related porn increases in the Christmas period, so the festive season can obviously be a horny one.

It is very common that childhood dynamics get replayed with family around Christmas time. Whether it is feeling like a child in relation to parents, or sibling rivalry, we can easily lose our sense of adult self at Christmas time.

I had a great evening with my friend Jacqueline. We worked out we’ve been friends for over 20 years! Jacqueline always served the queer communities, supporting gay men during the AIDS epidemic in the 80’s, marching for our rights at Pride when bricks were thrown at her.

We all know that the cost of life is rising much quicker than salaries. Christmas can be a stressful time if we think we need to keep up with the tradition of buying multiple expensive presents to people. There is no shame in scaling back on these.

If there is a member of the family that will no longer be sitting at the Christmas table, it can be sad. Sadness doesn’t “ruin” Christmas, but it honours the people who once were around and are no longer.

Unfortunately, many families are abusive. It is OK to decline another Christmas with them. You can find good friends—also called “chosen family," or people who actually care about you and love you just as you are—to spend Christmas with. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk...

My review of Shame-Sex Attraction edited by Lucas F. W. Wilson was published earlier this month in the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal. www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.... If you haven’t read Shame-Sex Attraction yet, grab your copy now!

I wish you all a Happy Winter Solstice ❄️💙💜💙❄️

If you’re looking for low-cost supervision, I recommend two colleagues of mine who are currently training to be supervisors: Suzette Castle-Mackie: www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/... Julie Marshall: www.psychotherapydoncaster.co.uk

It was glorious to catch up in London with friend and colleague Dr. Markie Twist. We had a good old festive time with a posh English afternoon tea (with champagne), and a few cocktails in Soho, celebrating our professional successes this year, and discussing exciting future plans for 2026! ❤️🎄🌈

It was wonderful to spend an evening with my gorgeous friend and colleague Dr Remziye Kunelaki for a festive time. We watched Pillion (I know, we were late to the party)…. But it wasn’t what we expected from all the hype 🙃

I’m delighted to announce that our book Gender, Sex and Relationship Diversity Therapy is published and available to pre-order (out on the 29th December!)

The LGBTQ+ people need allies! It is poignant to be in the historic Stonewall Inn in New York City where Pride began with my aunt Laurence. When I was a child, she was an amazing ally and kept me alive when I was horrendously bullied.

I can’t be in New York City without visiting the Stonewall Inn 🏳️‍🌈 It is a historic place as it was where pride and the LGBTQ+ human right movements began.

It was a pleasure to meet Ari Lewis while in New York City. He’s the author of Intuitive Sexuality, a sex-positive model working with compulsive sexual behaviours.

❤️❤️ Today is World AIDS Day ❤️❤️ Medicine has made so much progress in sexual health. Yet, the societal stigma of living with HIV remains. ❤️ People living with HIV who are on medication have an undetectable viral load and cannot transmit the virus.

We’re having a wonderful conference in Valletta at the university of Malta: Uncensored: Gender Identity and Sexual Intimacy in Counselling and Psychotherapy. I was honoured to be invited for a keynote on compulsive sexual behaviours.

It’s always a joy to be invited to teach at the ESSM School and Advanced School in Budapest. Today, I delivered two workshops: 🏳️‍🌈 Working with LGBTQ+ people ✅ Navigating consent Tomorrow I’ll be teaching on the diverse landscapes of relationships! ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷🩵

It was lovely to catch up with colleague and friend Dr Brendan Dunlop while in Manchester! We share a passion for queer mental health! ❤️🌈

It was fantastic meeting David Ley in London! His book “The Myth of Sex Addiction” was pivotal in transforming my career to what it is now. And what great timing to meet in the week of the publication of the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal position statement on “sex/porn addiction”. 💜

The gonorrhea vaccine is now available on the NHS. Go and get it for extra protection.

It was lovely to catch up with friend and colleague Ben Kaye. He does such amazing work in the Chems@x scene. ❤️🏳️‍🌈 Working collaboratively is key to making real important change. We never stop learning from each other. I wish everyone a fabulous Friday! ❤️🌈

It’s always a pleasure to offer clinical supervision to an international group of therapists for IOSS. The topic today was problematic porn use. We had very interesting in-depth conversations! 💚

“Porn addiction” is not clinically endorsed. The body of scientific research actually hasn’t found any causation of mental health or sexual health issues. But there are correlations.

COVID-19 jab done! ✅ It’s expensive but worth it, I think. Flu jab on Monday, COVID today. It’s a jabby week this week! 😁

Great news! I'm delighted to share the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal position statement on "sex/porn addiction", supported by clinicians around the world. www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....

The term “problematic porn use” (PPU) is commonly used by clinicians but it carries the bias that the problem with porn always lies with the person watching it. However, often, the distress is felt by the partner of the person watching porn, not the person watching it.

Flu jab done today ✅

Happy Halloween! 🎃 It is a time believed to be when the boundary between physical world and the spiritual is thinnest. 👻 How are you celebrating Halloween? If you want a short queer read on Halloween, here’s my Psychology Today blog! 🎃👻💀🏳️‍🌈 www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk...

I’m back at the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes for a live webinar on working with compulsive sexual behaviours on Saturday 17th January at 9am (EST)/ 2pm (GMT). Come and join us! 🇺🇸🇬🇧💜🌈 modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/work...

It is Halloween week! 🎃👻💀 Although Halloween itself is about honouring the dead, the Halloween week is filled with horror movies and scary things in shops. It is a good opportunity to ask ourselves: what is our biggest fear?

Therapists in therapy. It seems to be taboo. Why? I’m in therapy. There, I said it! I resumed therapy seven months ago, not long after my mother died. This time, I chose an integrative and existential therapist.

I’m now in Soho, my home. Blowing a kiss to you all! We’re fabulously queer! We’re part of nature because nature is queer too! We have always been here since humans walked the Earth, and we will always be here. Sending LOVE to you all! ❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈

I really enjoyed writing this blog for Psychology Today. I hope you will enjoy reading it! 🎃👻💀🌈 www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk...

We had a gorgeous sunny Summer this year, so I’m now ready for Autumn. Such a beautiful season! 🍁 It is soothing to observe and be in nature doing its thing in the changing seasons, recycling, transitioning, renewing in its slow regular patterns 🧡

Last week, a group of Christian Evangelicals calling themselves “Kings Army” descended upon Soho shouting homophobic slurs. As a gay man, Soho is one of the only safe places where I can be fully myself. It is my safe place and I consider it my home.

It’s the third time I am in the Canary Islands. It is always poignant for me. My grandmother who devoted her life to support her family had only one wish for herself: to visit the Canary Islands. But her husband didn’t want to travel so she never made it.

I’m grateful for Yasmina Floyer spotlighting my critique of sex addiction in the October issue of Psychologies. As you know I’m passionate about highlighting the harm done by applying an addiction treatment to sexual behaviours. And offering ethical and sex-positive methods instead ❤️

It was a pleasure to be a guest on the Let’s Talk About Love The Podcast hosted by Kayte. We talked about sexual compulsivity, porn viewing and queer love! Enjoy! open.spotify.com/episode/6VSm...

New publication! My peer-reviewed article has just been published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal! Adopting a queer lens working with LGBTQ+ young people. ❤️🌈 www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....

Yesterday I delivered an EMDR workshop for the regional group in Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire and Hertfordshire on recovery after sexual assault.

It was great seeing some colleagues and friends for an informal gathering celebrating my latest book Sexual Diversity. It is so good to be with each other in-person having a laugh! ❤️🌈

Raising a glass of champagne to congratulate Erin Stevens, Matt Cormack and Bumi Akinmutande for being elected as BACP Trustees. I feel very hopeful that BACP will become a more ethical and effective membership organisation now! Yay! 🎉 www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-fr...

It’s always good to take a day out of my office and do some filming to send some sex-positive information to the public. We talked sex, sexual compulsivity, and what it is like to be a LGBTQ+ person in today’s world. 🏳️‍🌈❤️

Just spent an existential weekend in the glorious nature of Northern England. After my mother’s passing earlier this year in April, it was so important for me to stop and reflect on life and death, on endings and new beginnings, and on my meaning of life.

We will never forget 9/11. 🇺🇸❤️