Bonobos workplace Don't forget team, our weekly teambuilding orgy is on Friday. And whoever keeps fucking at my desk while I'm in meetings, honestly hilarious, I do the same to my boss. But put the vibrator back where you find it.

Help. They're making me work at work.

Brb getting this tattooed on me.

Barking for a beautiful woman is a gateway to getting clicker-trained and collared. Be careful out there y'all.

It started as a joke but now it's real: How I got most of my kinks.

Werewolf in hiding from a group of trans puppy gals who just wanna knot each other a few days a month.

*Attempts to sneak into the castle but the bells on my hat and shoes give me away and I am immediately killed.*

Hehehes into the distance.

Me: ...Yea, I'm constantly imagining how the immediate future could go wrong so, when it does, I'm prepared for it! 😁 Friend: That's just cPTSD. Me: Oh.

Pride

Gf sent me an audio clip of her using the clicker while I was on the train home. Me: Not fair, I'm on the train. 😭 Her: I know. 😏 Me: Oh hey, I can keep playing it over and over. 🤤🤤🤤 Her: *Deletes it.* Me: 😭😭🤤

Plurality switchy sex Ceri: Okay, Steve is doin his thing, taming that brat. Oh shit, the gf bit us, tag out, Love is switching in. Jeez, Steve is such a wuss with pain. Wait a minute, and now the gf is acting bratty again and wants Steve back? I'll try to switch him in...oh no, they're cofronting.

Dr. Doolittle but for furries when they go nonverbal.

Every task is assembly line work when your fronters keep switching out.

If your heart is pure you can drink 3 Celsius a day with no consequences.

20s: Yo, I'm bi Early 30s: and trans Late 30s: actually I'm splintered into a variety of folks who have different sexual proclivities and genders Me in my future 40s:

Playing the LotR Extended Edition trilogy at the sex party.

MMA plurality choosing their match fronter from a fighting game screen. They all fight the same but each has different emotes and voice lines.

Crazy how time flies. A year ago I had yet to bark at the command of a beautiful woman. Anything is paw-sible! *Is immediately put down*

Furry plurality? So a fucking zoo?

Poetic bottoms be like: Alack alas, You're in my ass.

prid mont

People bitch about muffin top as if it isn't the most delicious part of the fuckin muffin.

"I like the smell of your jig" "Don'tcha mean cut?" Horniest woman in a 50-mile radius: "Oh we could get to that too."

Waitress: And for you? Me, brain on fire, headmates screaming at each other, covered in hidden aching bites and impact marks: Burger plz. 😋

When it clicks that my partner is trying to give me a praise kink for gold star stickers by giving me one everytime she fucks me and then I find the skeets detailing the plan that she was gonna start doing this.

Forgot I was talkin to a vanilla cis het and dropped a joke that lesbians put knives to each others' throats on the second date and I'm not sure she'll recover.

Infiltrating the rival trans gal polycule by attending a trans picnic new to the city and single and only equipped with "new" commander decks but showing my hand when I can't avoid winning with the OP shit I couldn't resist including.

Tops after fuckin: Damn your ass felt good. Bottoms afterwards: I saw God and she is angry humanity has yet to figure out we are all One.

*Me telling the deer girlfriend about my weekend adventures and lamenting over discovering a new kink.* Her: I'm not surprised. You are a ball of accumulating kinks. Like a horny katamari. 😭😭😭

GF, gasping: The more I hurt you the deeper you go down on my cock. Me internally, happily brain dead, mouth occupied: That's cause I'm a good girl ^.^ ✨️✨️✨️

Sales man slaps my brain. "Yep. This sucker passed the bar exam first try, got thru law school with flying colors, and loves philosophy." Me, at every opportunity: Turn it off turn it off!

Sub Bottoms be like: Who's dick do I gotta suck to get a dick to suck around here?

When a whole company of dudes transitioned in the 1950s, call that broadening your workforce.

My coach at my first MMA match: You gotta quit moaning when you get hit. Me: What is even the point, then?!

Guys think they taste amazing after boofing just one pineapple.

Having trouble with transcendental idealism. Cause I Kant read.

When I (a puppy girl) argues with a sycophant call that barking at the wrong oui.

I'm an insane puppy girl. Call that barking mad.

Me in the rising action of my story: Hell yea. Me in the falling action: Weeeeeeee!

Hubris only applies to the weak. I'm too strong and cool for nemesis.

When I go a few days without my headmates screaming at me: Oh shit, maybe I was makin up this plurality thing. EMDR: The fuck you are!

Gotta be the hottest NPC at the grocery store. Be an MC? No thanks, I've had enough character development.

When a rival puppy gal puts a hand on me consider that a faux pas.

Thoughts and prayers?! Nay! Send thots and bears.

Fuck, I'm tired. But I already had one Celsius. The Celsius in my fridge: Coward! We have a new world to conquer!

New Jersey adopting climate change rules for development and calling them the REAL Rules is sparking much joy.

"My fwb wants to experiment with puppy play." Zuko, from ATLA: "That's a ruff buddy."

All I'm saying is that "skeeting" meant something very different where I grew up. "What?" You ask? Me: *Pulls out a shotgun and a ceramic frisbee.*