He knocked my pillows off the bed so he could be comfy

Oh my god my company gave me a bonus?!?! Just checked my account and there's an extra a lot! Getting a milkshake to celebrate

I don't know who made this, but I love you

Crazy to think I'll be in my mid 50's before the extended version of Kill Bill is over

In the past month I have found a psychiatrist and started working on my meds and therapy. I've also gone to 2 dentist appointments to undo the years of depression teeth. I've paid off my car and 2 credit cards, also got my student loans back in good standing. Holy shit I'm proud of myself for once

Sometimes I listen to Lil Wayne to feel cooler than I actually am

Hmmm?

I have nothing left

Imagine what kind of sick mind looks at America and says "yep I'm the only one qualified to rule these people" We pick our favorite narcissist every 4 years and wonder why things don't get better

I should not have looked up the side effects of my new medication...

So give everyone some narcan? Nah pretext for war with China instead

Off work gonna play some chess and relax -50 ELO

Lex Marie… “Watch Your Tone” & “Because I Love You” are so powerful

Uncanny

Thinking about giving my niece a "gift certificate" for 1 year of free guitar lessons for Christmas She wants to learn so bad but I wanted to wait a bit until her hands were big and coordinated enough to hold the guitar The strings hurt when you're new and I didn't want that to make her quit

It is really tough watching your hiking partner and best buddy get too old for adventures Now that he's older, we still go for walks, we just go slower I'll go as slow as you want 🥲

How many times do I need to relearn the lesson that the majority of people are kind and will help if you ask? I'm trying to get better at understanding when someone is in a bad mood, they aren't acting that way because they hate me Everyone is just trying to make it to their next paycheck

Wtf billionaires are weird "Oh I couldn't possibly touch the peasant dollars."

The new SpongeBob movie is an affront to the Lord Poseidon

I wrote a song for my niece as her Christmas present last year and now I'll never be able to top that

I think I know how to deal with the lifted RAM 1500 tailgating me with their brights on The power of the sun in the palm of my hand

RIP Rob Reiner Spinal Tap is one of my favorite movies and I love this scene so much

I miss this :(

Just started my car and the whole thing is shaking What the fuck man this was working perfectly fine until I made my final payment

Wonder what kind of mental illnesses ai will have

The antidepressants are working I played my guitar yesterday

My store could operate with only 3 employees but don't tell corporate that

Do you think Elvis would be popular today or would he be laughed at? In my newest docu-series on YouTube we do a deep dive Yeah that's exhausting idk how people do it

A secret of mine is I like the 12 days of Christmas song

When The Pursuit of Happiness came out I got obsessed with Rubiks cubes I don't even remember what happens in the movie except Will Smith figured out a Rubiks cube

I don't like endorsing products but the Google pixel is nice if you get spam calls all the time

People are like oh man church was good let's go harass a retail worker

This crowd is for a video game I love eSports man

I want to be at home watching the Counter Strike major but work exists

Quitting nicotine to fund my guillotine

No more Samsung SSDs No more Crucial RAM AI needs to stop now

A Muslim man took down one of the shooters firing at a Jewish crowd? Yeah that makes sense One time in college I crashed on my skateboard and got a huge cut on my legs that was bleeding like crazy Only people around were the Muslim Student Association and they took care of it and gave me food

Tom Morello's custom "Arm The Homeless" guitar that costs $1700 makes me think he's not raging against the machine anymore

I'm on the brink I'll fill my sink With the king's jewelry

Did you see the video of the guy disarming one of the shooters at Bondi? 1) good fucking work man holy shit 2) it's bold to take and hold the mass shooter's gun when police are looking for dudes with guns

My dad wanted help with his wifi and keeps arguing because "Well Chat said" and I'm gonna pull out my hair

I wish I could look at customers the way work kitty does

Found a cheap parachute on Temu and it has zero bad reviews!

There was about 6 months of my life where I couldn't stop quoting Letterkenny I even said one of the lines on a date and the look she gave me...

One of my coworkers is trying to quit drinking and I'm really proud of him He showed up to work at 7am ready to go which is unheard of for him on weekends Fuck yeah let's beat addiction

Oh I just read that Elizabeth Moss is a scientologist

What's worse: This guitar solo or the fact that people are saying the shredding was so cool and good?

When a narcissist takes enough drugs to experience ego death, they create a crypto startup

There is a pro-bald movement happening and it's really encouraging This meme is actually kind of sweet

There is a guy in NYC who goes to raves and lays on the ground so people have to walk over/on top of him His name is Kevin Carpet