love to see my ex-father in law in the news again for sexual assault, this time for being a pedo. he sucks, his family sucks. I hope the lot of them have to go hide under a rock forever

really falling into the weeds researching a house. ended up in a 1928 catholic high school yearbook that has an ad for dog bondage rigs

I hope all the teeth were pillows

bought a $15 dress on eebs last week, late 60s/early 70s, unlabeled, couture quality. was looking at a bunch of pics from a 1966 rudi gernreich show today and one pic was a dude: tzamis luksus, who designed some of the fabric. looked him up. he did the fabric for the $15 dress! and his story is nuts

one of my xmas gifts was a book of pics of the stones, my most beloved band, and the very last page shows keith kicking it in one of madeleine castaing‘s, my favorite antiquaire/decorator, rarest finds. 1. WHAT THE FUCK, WHY HAVENT WE BEEN TOLD ABOUT THIS? was it keith or anita? where are they now?

my hangnails have hangnails

how can you tell when a chicken is roasted Perfectly and you need to take it out immediately ? (me, tapping my nose, knowingly) the nose always knows.

dear giant corporate eyeliner purveyors, why do you now keep ’selling out’ of a thing you carry regularly, for years? this is 100% fake. are you trying to seem cool to bullshit influencer culture? oooh sold out! must be good?

I braised: golden beets, carrots, fingerling potatoes, apples, garlic, shallot, one squishy persimmon worth of pulp, and allspice in an inch of carrot juice, mezcal, orange juice, lime juice and butter. I think it’s hellllla good. it’s so fun to use up all the stuff in the fridge

I brought all the plants in on tuesday cause we had two nights of 60mph winds. look at this cactus flower that decided to bloom inside last night!

gonna make my own incense sticks/cones. assembling a fierce assortment of powdered woods, resins and herbs. I’ve been picking up tree sap of fragrant trees around town and aging it in airtight jars for like ? 4 years and this is how I’m gonna use it up

it’s the most exciting xmas eve in forevs, its bright out still, there’s nonstop thunder and lightning with a warm rain. totally scary and delightful at the same time. a treat. all the birds are singing especially the backyard hummingbirds

you used to be able to renew your car registration online real easy but now you get sent to a registration assistant, you fill out all the shit, it never asks for payment info, and at the end it says ‘due to high demand it may be 3-5 days before the assistant will be able to process your request’

I opened the panettone I’m snarfing the panettone

got up before sunrise (naked) to put my clothes in the dryer so theyd be done in time for me to go to pilates and in a stunning show of not awake yet clumsiness I cut myself so bad and in such a dumb place (my butt) that I couldnt go to pilates.

never ever getting to the airport early has not adequately prepared me for today. I got here sooooo early and as I was sitting at the gate, the damn gate changed and I didn’t know and yah, I’m gonna be sitting here some more.

feeling really nondescript at my advanced age but then I get to the airport and I guess I’m still descript. every woman here has long blown out, straightened, foxnews hair

should be packing, instead sitting by the fire reading your little jokes

eating a slice of pumpkin pie in under 30 seconds - I was taking my time

potential pumpkin pie emergency: accidentally made the crust with the special self rising white lily flour turns out you should mark the flour containers, you won’t remember, it all looks the same

brain fog? how would I know, I never use the thing

I’m huddled up, I’m under a pile of quilts, I’ve forced the dog to get into my fabric igloo.

I’m having a real pumpkin ice cream phase

I sat through a 7 act noise show yesterday in a cold warehouse as preparation for being eternally trapped in this medi-cal hold music situation today. this hold music loop cannot even get my goat up man, I am just riding it like a wave dude, 2 hours 46 minutes

love it how a jar of mayonnaise has become a luxury item

love to invite a friend over to eat 1lb of hot cheese soup with forks fondue can be dinner if you put out enough stuff besides bread to dip in there. faves were apples, tiny potatoes, curried carrots & sautéed mushrooms.

gonna make fondue in the beautiful rig I got at the estate sale last week for $5. check out this cool burner (rest of rig in background)

Ok if autocorrect changes the spelling one more time I’m going to scream. HENTCHMEN HENTCHMEN HENTCHMEN respect to my guys, who brought me along on tours to merch table. who treated me like a sister, a co-conspirator, a loved one. I’m glad j.w. is doing better and telling it like it is.

all I do is drink coffee and eat mimolette

Ok if autocorrect changes the spelling one more time I’m going to scream. HENTCHMEN HENTCHMEN HENTCHMEN respect to my guys, who brought me along on tours to merch table. who treated me like a sister, a co-conspirator, a loved one. I’m glad j.w. is doing better and telling it like it is.

I got one of those spaceship looking bodum vacuum coffee makers at an estate sale last week for $10 and it is fun to use. not fast but maybe it’s my weekend coffee maker.

in the “they grow up so fast” department: my friends baby who ripped my earring halfway outta my ear a long time ago. well… that baby just got quoted in the nyt

almost blinded by one drop of spicy ramen that flew in my eye. did I consider how something that toxically spicy might not be safe for my stomach? no, I did not. next time tho

oh no not laughing bum harranguing the instagram cafe customers lol

was just reading through the user manual for my bluetooth transmitter in spanish cause that’s the one I found online. did not know that you call an rca jack “rca macho” but we should all be calling it that

so inexplicably nathan fielder has been spotted at the stupid instagram cafe in my neighborhood more than a dozen times in the past 4 months. theres a lot of speculation about why in the hell somebody rich from LA would be doing this to themselves. my guess is that it’s nookie related.

at the beautiful estate sale this weekend it was sad to see how people weren’t buying or even understanding the simple 18th century swiss and austrian furniture. it wasnt even expensive. it’s so rare here to see really old euro stuff. the big auction houses won’t even come here to get this stuff

yes I am in line at the estate sale at dawn. yes this eyeliner was from yesterday. yes it is still perfect. sue me

exhausted, lying in bed waiting for the mosquito that is somewhere in my room to come at me bro. lying in wait, swatter at the ready. I will fall asleep in .5 seconds

corti bros, always innovating

(some girls plays in the background ) “american girls want everything in the world you can possibly imagine!”

somebody had to do it

acting all paranoid and moving from room to room in my house every few minutes thinking I can evade the mosquito(s?) in here this way

job search report: I have applied for a business license

I met the neighbors with the piano on their porch finally today after 8 yrs. they didn’t have help to move it down the big flight of stairs so they left it a few days out there on the covered porch, intending to give it away. an incredibly talented free jazz player saw it and couldn’t resist playing

my downstairs neighbor is a dj and that’s why I didn’t feel at all bad for briefly using a sawzall in my living room at 9pm. that’s like noon to him.

I say chicken scissors. you say poultry shears. who is the ridiculous one? is this some kinda usa “u and non-u” english usage?

went from iced coffee and mini socks to hot coffee and big ol wool socks in one day.

I don’t care if I’m misunderstanding what this guy was trying to lay down because I also love port wine and am indifferent to the opinions of people who mock me for it

I’m in one of those rural diners that politicians always talk about. there’s no art, instead there are at least 30 of those dumb signs that say shit like “be kind, say please and thank you, be grateful, laugh, eat cake for breakfast, show grace, speak truth”