Plaistow

I am in Croydon. This is not good.

Fuck Newcastle, fuck them up their stupid asses.

Same old Arsenal, scoring corners!

What is it about Arsenal's left wing? Whoever starts there plays like shit, and whoever gets subbed on plays great?

Why the fuck are the Orcs' neighbours booing Saka and Martinelli? #PVLARS

City are fannies. Pass it on. #ARSMCI

Fucking lucky fucking Liverpool again.

I've seen Line Of Duty, this is clearly laddering.

100 up in 6 overs, incredible stuff! #ENGSA

Cricket is a silly game sometimes. 5 overs to bowl at 10pm on a wet Wednesday night in Cardiff. #ENGSA

I've been struggling to get to sleep for a few days now. This England game should sort that right out. #SRBENG

I know all landlords are leeches and don't believe a word they say, BUT! My landlord gave us the "We love having you in the flat and we see you as friends" message, and they froze our rent for the third year in a row! Maybe I've got the good one?!

Holy fucking shit this is amazing! youtu.be/fLt03BAQG0M?...

I blame the white kit #LIVARS

Manchester United

Grimsby. Absolute lols.

Are you fucking kidding me Spotify? It's August!

My first festival! There were some future megastars tucked away at the bottom of the bill there.

If Virgil Van Dyk could just once get caught doing his snidey elbow-first challenges I would be so happy #NEWLIV

If you're going to foul them Newcastle, at least hurt them! #NEWLIV

I like Simon and Garfunkel as much as the next man, but it's pretty depressing when it's being played in a pub on a bank holiday Sunday evening, when it should be jumping because no work tomorrow.

Max Dowman has just started 5th year, he could be sitting GCSEs as a premier league champion #ARSLEE

We want Dowman! #ARSLEE

BIG VIC!!! #ARSLEE

Same old Arsenal, scoring corners! #ARSLEE

I know it's only West Ham, but that Estevao looks like a star #WHUCHE

We absolutely got away with that one, we were rubbish! #Arsenal

I really don't like this kit #Arsenal

It's Man City players copying Arsenal players goal celebrations now, is it? See you at the Emirates, Reindeers. #WOLMCI

Why are there a thousand people milling about Kentish Town with Blackpink bags? Did they have a merch sale or a secret gig or something?

You can't have "all noughties music all day" and play shit 90s garage because it was still popular in 2000. Do better 6music.

I put my head down, and I RAN AT IT!

What are they smoking over there at London City Lionesses? No way are Arsenal selling Meado!

Normally I'd support the London Spirit in the Hundred, but fuck that cheating Australian batsman. Come on the Invincibles! #TheHundred

The other half picked up a Too Good To Go box from Aldi, and you won't believe what they gave her.

In a classic case of separating the art from the artist, can I bring myself to watch the second series of The Sandman on Netflix?

That's surely the last we'll see of Liam Dawson in an England shirt. You can't be dropping dollies in the deep #EngInd #TheCricket

What is common knowledge in your field but shocks outsiders? Many luxury swiss watch brands including Omega, Blancpain, Longines, Rado and Hamilton are all owned by Swatch.

As today is International Beer Day I am about to enjoy an international beer.

ITS STAYING HOME!!! #LIONESSES

I fucking love Chloe Kelly #lionesses

Penalties are easy. It's basically a free goal. If the keeper saves it the well done keeper, but there is zero excuse for missing a penalty. #lionesses

RUSSOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! #lionesses

It's leaving home, it's leaving home, it's leaving, football's leaving home. #lionesses

We neado to bring on Meado #Lionesses

Good luck to Gyokeres, you're going to have to be as good as Wright and Henry combined to win over some of our toxic "fans" #Arsenal #Gyokeres

Just had to walk from Highgate to Finchley Central because the Northern Line is down. Every single bus that passed was too packed to get on. I deserve this schoolday pint.

It wos Arsenal Women wot won it! #Lionesses

Let me taste those Italian tears! #Lionesses