Mmmmm mm! Pizza Friday!

I am going to do a handstand and spray diarrhea into the air like a water fountain. Happy Friday, everyone! My family makes homemade pizza on Friday nights. I'll post a picture later. Love you guys.

I'm probably going to buy all of the new Steam hardware even though I don't need any of it because I am a whore. Thank you for listening.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. Spending most of today sanding and refinishing my ass.

I am not interested in hanging out with your polycule. Please stop asking, for God's sake!

Hating FFXVI to the point where you keyword search it to complain at total strangers online has officially been added to the DSM! 🎉 Congrats to all the absolute fucking weirdos who made this possible!

36 Dr. Peppers in the passenger seat. 130mph on the highway. Tears for Fears blasting on the radio. I’m in my happy place. 🥰

Yes, I am absolutely upset with you if you play Outer Wilds and/or Fallout in 3rd person. Have a good weekend, I guess.

Grandstanding about the latest trending anger subject on Bluesky is the meaning of life. When you get to heaven, they will count the number of minutes you did that and you go to hell if you didn’t wag your finger at people over petty bullshit for clout enough.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe they’re closing!” - Person who hasn’t been to local restaurant in 12 years.

I like seeing the absolute worst mother fuckers in all of human history mad about stuff. 🥰

Hey, everyone. I think it’s pretty fucking lame to celebrate layoffs. Especially right before the holidays. Even if you’re mad at the parent company. Also lame to assume people approve of their employer’s ethical lapses, or can find a new job at the drop of a hat. Haha, okay! Bye!

Gearing up to shit my pants tonight.

I am a basic bitch for Assassin's Creed. I just love the formula. It's my vanilla latte and I don't care. Argue with a toilet.

I am very proud to announce that you can now stream Xbox games directly to my ass. Thanks everyone.

Being a CEO is harder than your stupid job.

Happy Caturday, from my home to yours. 🙏

Extremely rude that everyone continued posting while I was away.

hahehhahhahhahhaha. satursday BUIRGer ahhaahhhh

Ordered two complicated beverages at the trendy new coffee shop and didn’t tip. Hope you’re having a nice Saturday everyone.

I think I finally landed on a Halloween costume for this year.

Men of Bluesky: you ever have your nuts itch when you're taking a shit, and you can't figure out how to scratch them without risking a poo hand? I'm on level 18 of Doom The Dark Ages and I think it's my favorite game in the series. The shield/parry mechanics are great.

Logging on to broadly gesture at no one in particular that I am morally superior to you due to how I have responded to a recent event online.

Happy Sunday, but do yourself a favor and stay out of my way.

If you're a stalker abusive creep lurking on an alt, send me a DM and I'll give you $20. I promise!

I ate another doughnut for lunch and I don't need your opinion about it. I already ate it and we're just moving on.

Please note that I have updated my Bluesky handle. Thanks everyone.

Whatever the hell you have going on today, I’m here to make it about me now.

You think you have it rough but someone out there is about to get an AI art tattoo.

Who wants to hang out and smoke cigarettes and take anabolic steroids? Looking for a gamer with similar interests to be my new best friend.

I'm having a pretty tough time today mentally because I don't have 250,000 followers.

I’m going to play Metroid Prime 4 first. I haven’t played the other games. If you’re okay with that, please reply and say “banana”. If you’re not okay with that, please reply with the words “angus beef” and then go away. Thanks everyone.

Hey everyone. I've decided it's Christmas time. Please get out there and get those family photos with Santa in the next week. Thank you.

I ate Cheez Its, peanuts and a donut for lunch and I feel like shit. Happy Silksong day.

Silksong releases today and you know what I’ll be doing all day: making dashboards in Power BI. Hell yes, baby!

You'd think this would be common sense, but here's a little reminder for people who are very stupid: when you tell a "joke" that makes people sad instead of happy, you can't argue your way into the joke actually being funny. Shut your grokhole and look inward.

Really enjoying my day off work! (Picture not mine.)

Good night, everyone. I'm going to smoke 100 cigarettes tomorrow.

I did the splits.

I can't fucking do the splits.

Cat people are not allowed to post on International Dog Day. Don't post your god damn cat pictures today. 😡 Today is for dog people. 😡

My daughter starts school on Wednesday and the cool part about that is how I’ve teared up 8,500 times today thinking about it.

Happy Saturday, everyone! I'm enjoying 2 hot dogs, 2 beers, and 20 cigarettes this afternoon. What are you up to?

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm going to start smoking cigarettes again this weekend. What are your plans?

GIVEAWAY TIME‼️ To celebrate the confirmed release date of the highly anticipated: ✨ Hollow Knight: Silksong ✨ I am giving away a copy of the game on Steam! To Enter: ✅️ Like & Repost ✅️ Follow Winner will be announced on release day, September 4th 🫶 GOOD LUCK! 😁

Do you think my PC is good enough to run Silksong? I have 12 NVIDIA RTX 5090s and it sounds like a Harley Davidson motorcycle when I power it on.