Hey, everyone. My friend Sean made pizza. Please like my post too.

Hahahahaha.

I have gone where 89% of gamers have never gone. I’ll be signing autographs in the Costco parking lot from 2am to 4am. Please praise me and do NOT ask how many deaths it took to get here.

I have gone where 89% of gamers have never gone. I’ll be signing autographs in the Costco parking lot from 2am to 4am. Please praise me and do NOT ask how many deaths it took to get here.

I am shitting at 120 frames per second.

My adult son Xander saved up his allowance and he can finally afford a copy of Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Future Tone for PS4. Taking him to Red Robin to celebrate his financial responsibility. I am not proud of him, but he's earned this.

Every day, I wake up and look at this image for 3 hours.

Living the dream, baby! Hahahahahahaha.

Perfect weather for getting diarrhea at a Panda Express.

Someone vibe coded a Discord update today. 😍

🤔

I wish it was socially acceptable to talk about the male bush.

It’s Sunday and I’m calling you on Teams at 10am to discuss your goals for the work week.

May #promosky Hi, my name is Johnny! I'm a CEO with an MBA and I work hard for my wealth and success. 📈 On a journey to hit 100,000 follows. 💸 Wealthy and successful. 🛥️ Enjoys boats, real estate, wine country, golf, bourbon and cigars. 🐬 Ranked on global flipping leaderboard. 👀 No pink eye

My tattoo artist told me I don't need to get full blown naked for my arm tattoos anymore!

In a major blow to Sony Playstation, it has been revealed that you cannot access your digital purchases without paying a 3rd party company for electricity.

It would mean a lot to me if you could make your weekend a little bit worse than mine. Thanks everyone.

I beat Black Flag like 4 months ago and you bet your fucking ass I'm playing it again in July.

I love getting an email that makes me feel borderline suicidal and replying with “Sounds good!”

If Bluesky discourse had a hidden JRPG-style super boss, it would be whatever the fuck this is.

Creating a street gang called the Friendly Reminders. We show up when you're starting a new game and make sure you feel bad about playing it.

For the first time in 100 years, I have purchased a game on release day that I am actually going to play on release day. Please hold your applause.

Taking a shit without your cell phone is basically solitary confinement.

This is real footage from my cell phone, not AI. Okay? I bought 108 Creamy Coconut Dr. Peppers yesterday. Thanks for listening.

Hahahahahaha

I had some dairy-laden treats at the tulip festival and let’s just say that my 3 day no diarrhea streak has come to an abrupt end. :(

These photos are proof that I’m at a tulip festival, not making bigoted statements on the internet.

If you are stressed about any aspect of playing video games, you are playing video games wrong.

cold dog

OH HELL YES

Remember when the entire population of Bluesky played Hollow Knight Silksong for 18 minutes and then gave up on it forever?

I converted to all digital when Nintendo ruined the flavor of their carts.

Sometimes I really scare myself with how good I am at video games.

Really rough conversation with my wife today, explaining that "the backlog comes first" and I won't have as much time to help with parenting anymore.

I'm inventing a new type of technology that lets you invite dead people to Microsoft Teams meetings.

"Add one AI placeholder asset to Crimson Desert."

"Remove the story from Crimson Desert and make it crash every 5 minutes."

I pull my pants all the way down at the urinal in case I poop while I'm peeing. I'm still trying to master that.

I'm making white rice with a pot on the stove instead of a rice cooker and I did not wash the rice either. If that upsets you, go ahead and call the police. I don't care.

Hey, everyone. This is just a quick reminder to schedule your annual hot water tank cleaning. I'm just really worried that you're letting mineral deposits reduce the lifespan of your hot water heaters. Thanks everyone.

I want to be vulnerable for a second: My stomach is a little off today, and I just trusted a fart. While I was able to mitigate the worst outcomes, it was a "close call" and the experience has left me a little shaken. If I'm a little quiet on social media for a few weeks, that's why.

I do the apple juggling thing where you take bites out of every apple as you catch them, but I do it with Costco rotisserie chickens.

I just farted for 36 hours straight. :(

I am offering a gamer baptism service where you give me $300 and you don't have a backlog anymore.

Happy Sunday, everyone. I am enjoying Marmite on toast and boiled eggs this morning. 😋

Does anyone know why Horizon Zero Dawn is $999,999 on my PSN? 🤔

If you're mad about console exclusives, have you tried quadrupling your income? You'd be surprised how many problems you can solve when you quadruple your income.

I am overjoyed at Sony no longer releasing games on PC and I hope Microsoft follows suit!