"Hi, I'd like to sell some expensive gear off" "WHY DON'T YOU TRY FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE?!?" Yeah ok, what a crock of shit.

Starfleet academy- I kinda like it, but I don't really love it. Prodigy was already this show done kinda better. And lower decks? But Stephen Miller hates it, so give me as much of it as possible. "Reject sent to his last high school where he isnt given up on" is a bit cliche though. BUT IN SPACE!

Just starting Star Trek Academy, going in as dry as possible with my expectations, and I really gotta ask: ...so you have the Prodigy ship in that anniversary logo, and do you guys really get to embrace that after cancelling it? Seems a bit like a dick move, I'm just saying.

For some reason, my kid falls asleep in my arms I pace around holding her with my hand on her face in the vulcan mind meld position.

Oh sh- is this Earth X?

This isn't meant to deemphasize the quoted post's point, but I absolutely can't let this slide: what the AI Generated FUCK is that cover shot supposed to tell me about this article?

Murder... Its just not cool!

Mash up 2 Books Together to make a cooler one: "Are you there, God? It's me, Mary Poppins"

They're racing to make AI integrate into our lives in as unobtrusive a way as possible to make you want to learn how to use AI better instead of how to draw or write or make music better. They'll only make money if you decide it's not worth learning to express yourself.

American politics is a WWE wrestling show where they pipe in crowd reactions over the actual cheers and boos to get the reaction they want for television and media. Then everyone acts shocked when you tell them you hate what the product is right now.

American politics is a WWE wrestling show where they pipe in crowd reactions over the actual cheers and boos to get the reaction they want for television and media. Then everyone acts shocked when you tell them you hate what the product is right now.

Just a reminder that I am an "ALL TIME" hater of the Cybus Cybermen.

All my life is a drunken knife fight, waking up in jail. Kickin dogs and slapping moms. i know i'm going to hell. i ride at night and i'm going straight to hell. better watch your back cause i'll cut your neck, drink whiskey with your blood. break your hands and shoot your cousin...

Work: Please come in more to the office. Nick Shirley: Please don't use child care. Capitalism at work, apparently I'm supposed to leave my kids home alone to fight the Wet Bandits or some shit.

Work: Please come in more to the office. Nick Shirley: Please don't use child care. Capitalism at work, apparently I'm supposed to leave my kids home alone to fight the Wet Bandits or some shit.

Just a reminder that Bullet Club is 4-4-4-4 Life(except for AJ Styles)

Wife: Men are Dangerous. Me: what about the Men Without Hats? S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f... Wife: (Grabbing a knife out of a drawer) I swear to...

Maybe the Obamacare Death Squads were really the Ice Agents we met along the way....?

I will drop $100 via Venmo to anyone who has the balls to ask Stephen Miller what his plan to kill Superman is on camera. He doesn't even have to answer, but you do have to make sure you get his attention and that he hears the question.

....real talk: what's more common in movies, the X-Mansion getting trashed or the Enterprise getting blown up? Because I've counted at least 6 times for the X-Mansion, possibly more.

(listening to Locked Out of Heaven) Me: Man I wish I knew where Bruno Mars came up with his hooks Them: Its just the black suit theme from Spider-Man 3 Me: ...HOLY SHI-

All my life is a drunken knife fight, waking up in jail. Kickin dogs and slapping moms. I know I'm going to hell. I ride at night and I'm going straight to hell. Better watch your back cause I'll cut your neck, drink whiskey with your blood. Break your hands and shoot your cousin-

I'm so done with southwest airlines. Literally the absolute worst . And yes, I am in an airport terminal, as a matter of fact, so I can announce my departure.

@georgetakei.bsky.social saw you at the parade! Live Long and Prosper Captain Sulu!

Y'all, please watch the Rose Parade today: My wife is part of a wild, 300+ member marching band of music educators going out and doing their thing from all 50 states, mexico, canada and panama. And let me tell you- supporting this thing is the most hopeful thing to do in a long time- music 🧵

Im so confused. Did this get shared today? ...i mean besides me now

If i have one regret about the internet, its that I didn't shame the utter jabronis in aol chatrooms and homestead/tripod websites with chatrooms in the late 90s with their dumb ideas that have made the internet a shittier place today.

Need a break from school shootings and incoherent ramblings of some old fuck in a gilded palace telling you things are affordable? Try this article for a laugh: Batman is a corny dingus and Superman should whomp his ass: deadspin.com/batman-is-a-...

BLUESKY CHECKPOINT: Wizards only, Fools! Since you have all been dear friends to the Wizard community, Comment or Quote with "Wizards Rule" to pass.

How to gum your chew.

Milton Friedman was a fuckin hack.

Peaceful Never Protest Be Will Enough. ....what?

Man, Aja by Steely Dan makes me wonder if music as an art form was a mistake. If you need me I'll be pounding King Crimson into my earholes for the next 15 mins.

That Key and Peele sketch about Ray Parker Jr. only being known for Ghostbusters comes off a bit mean spirited once you find out that dude had like, 12 top 40 hits and you have to ignore all that success for the sketch to work.

You ever see something and think, "Hm, that's probably not for me..."? So anyways I saw this book called Absolute Superman and.... Nah. That ain't it, chief.

Someone once told me that marie kondo must have the nastiest, kinkiest and loudest sex that anyone who exists on this planet could have, and now that lives rent free in my brain. As I am passing this information on, I will let you determine when she uses the phrase "This sparks joy" during the act.

One of the truest things ever is in that Marvel movie Shang Chi- Asians LOVE Hotel California. Universally. Every Asian party my dad brought me to ever, even the ones where the band only played music from back in his home country, would still take Hotel California by request.

Sometimes I drink half a large coffee in about 7 seconds, then my entire brain just... rises and I involuntarily let out the groan Hugh Jackman lets out after he takes the healing drugs in Logan.

Me and my daughter, listening to the snow white soundtrack, whistle while you work- "Dada, how do you whistle?" "Idk. Honestly Dada's never been able to whistle" "Oh. Is it cause you're fat?" ...I ain't been burned that hard in DECADES.

Can't brick in the rain if it flies above the rain.

Man, it is absolutely NUTS how many sexy neighbors with light Russian accents I have. Ever since I discovered the formula for Cold Fusion they all chat me up before I leave for work and its really just nice to have someone to talk to.

Sometimes I have a little spaghetti at midnight and I just picture my doctor waking up in a cold sweat going "Hey, WHAT THE FUCK!"(Because apparently my doctor is Henry Rollins) but then I remember my health insurance covers ER visits more than therapy and at that point its just economics, isn't it?

Forgot to take my meds today: bsky.app/profile/nach...

Whenever that high school friend you see at the gas station that still smells like weed tries to convince you that Libertarianism is good, kindly let him know about Grafton, NH- a town that embraced libertarianism so hard they stopped collecting money for garbage pickup and got overrun by bears.

Milton Friedman was a fuckin hack.

James Spader clips that have aged too goddamned well: "Why should any of us take it seriously? We’re torturing people. We’re holding them indefinitely. Many with no evidence. Giving them no trials. No lawyers. It’s laughable." youtu.be/lfSGWjYT9tc?...

This post is now an evergreen. Realer every day.

Putting an unsolicited dik pic on your feed

Every time someone calls my kid The Next Generation my dork ass brain automatically goes "ah, so I'm TOS"

....I love how this mobile screenshot laid out this headline. Every single line break is a WILD left turn. Right down to how the last one puts single quotes around 'blast test' like that's under review still after she got blown up.