Pink+Yellow

I have an itch that can, unfortunately, only be scratched by a $14 peanut butter and banana protein smoothie. 😔

Should I start watching 9-1-1? It just looks… so stupid. And I think I maybe need that kind of background noise.

I jogged and cleaned my bathroom and changed my faggy little led lights to blue.

How ALL emails are finding me this week.

I guess I’m in the minority but I will never want a random person on the internet explaining politics to me while they “get ready” for something.

If I were back in the 90s, I would start wearing my Mighty Max playsets off my belt loops like people are with labablus now. I think I would be really cool.

Can’t believe I’m working when I could be home, watching gothic horror films from the 1960’s that aren’t very good but are very comforting.

While we’re on the topic, I also believe Tylenol is what prevents me from being rich. Really wish my mom hadn’t given me some for a head ache in the 8th grade. 😔

How did I just get included in a months long work project that requested attendance for every dept head EXCEPT me??? 😩 I hate being smart and young and hot.

God bless the 90s.

Ok, but like, I had a pretty decent Saturday. Could have used some hunky himbo boobs I’m my face, but otherwise a good day!

5:43am*

The tabloids are true. I am going to bed at 8pm so I can wake up at 4:30am on a Saturday and be productive. 🐦

Do you think any gay is going to dress as a “slutty right wing assassination” this Halloween?

This week I created a grid collage inspired by the 1980 gay slasher flick, Cruising. I am very proud of it.

Mama needs a spicy marg.

“READ BIO!”

Asked my straight boss if I could take a half day because I’m “Victoria Ratliff tired” and he said “I don’t know what that means” but agreed anyway.

Getting ready to make a shrimp scampi pasta that will slap your dick off.

Yes the new Anaconda movie looks dumb, but it has Steve Zahn with a daddy stache so, like, I’m helpless here.

I do not trust hot people. 🙂‍↔️ I am glad they exist, I like to look at them, but idk, I also like to look at poisonous flowers and volcanos.

At you going to HootNCollars? It’s a puppy party but they also make space for owl people. It happens once every four months on a Tuesday. You have to rsvp with a $30 ticket on eventbrite in order to get the address. The address is just the normal gay bar, but we wanted to be secretive.

Just made my mouth water but looking up pie recipes.

Thou shalt not suffer a “I’m sorry, I’m just bad at texting!” gay to live.

Guess which queer has two thumbs and is going to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year? 👍🏼🦃

End of summer hoopla

Sometimes Saturday is a whole bottle of rosé and finding out that Ghost Adventures is still airing.

Once again only being a slut in theory and in the comfort of my own home.

My Dorset sharp cheddar and apple jam grilled cheese sandwich demands you unfollow Kristin Chenoweth and Selma Blair.

Look at your fcf post. Now look at your previous 10 fcf posts. Ask yourself, am I offering something new? Something fresh? Inventive? Exciting? Or is it the same old thing, again and again? True growth comes from acknowledging your past. 🙏🏻💜

I’m crazing spiced orange rolls.

Having like, 7 or 8 people unfollow me on ig for making light of an evil person’s death is wild. Had no idea I knew so many Kirk stans!

Wait. Has anyone seen Maggie Simpson? Because if you really think about it… like… 🤨

Evening plans to reorganize the 10,000 paper images I’ve collected over the years. (Enthusiastic.)

Iconic.

Oh, yes… they float. 🎈

And I’ve always said this!!

It’s been a long, weird, off summer for me, but I’m determined to correct course for the autumn. 🍂 Applied to two art things tonight, settled plans for Japan in November, and I’m planning PHL/NYC for Thanksgiving. 🎃 May the Great Pumpkin bless me in my endeavors.

Wtf are all those lawyer gays who were everywhere on Twitter and why haven’t they filed a class action lawsuit against Grindr so we all can get $30 in seven years.

Late summer jump back into the 80°s this weekend which means I’m being robbed of several precious “guys in grey sweatpants” days. 😡

God bless Tubi. They added 1993’s Body Snatchers, which has been on my to-watch list for probably a decade. ☄️

I plan to stay drunk on green chile margs and cilantro salsa for the rest of the day. Beep me if you need me.

Lord I need to chill with these 6am flights because 3am is earrrlyy 😭

Goodnight.

These bills keep coming and so do I.

Decent week + some early fall fave! 🍂

I’m not a red wine guy, but I am a red wine guy when it’s 20 years old and I stole it from work.

Not to be a skanky dork, but I’m still waiting for bluesky to add private accounts… it’s such a no brainer, like…