If you lived on the streets of Venice, you would drown. #joke #jokes #comedy #comedian #venice #italy

This Friday I will be back at Rathskeller in #guttenberg #iowa www.facebook.com/share/1GH78S... And this Saturday I will be back at Jennie's Place in #orientiowa www.facebook.com/share/17DY3C... #comedy #tour #standup #comedian

Dancing with the Stars? More like Dancing with the "Oh yeah, I forgot about that guy." #dancingwiththestars #tv #comedy #jokes #funny #comedian

Why are there no Emergency entrances? #questions #joke #emergency

Yankton South Dakota and Silvis Illinois this weekend! •Friday Sept 12- Kozy's Bar #YANKTONSD www.facebook.com/share/1CpT5D... •Saturday Sep 13- Triangle Inn #silvisil www.facebook.com/share/1G6Mwd... #comedy #standupcomedian #SouthDakota #illinois

🎟-THIS WEEK •Saturday August 30th 9pm Hammer's Hideaway in #olin #iowa www.facebook.com/share/174E8f... •Sunday August 31st 3pm K&M Korner in #waterloo #iowa www.facebook.com/share/1CPieq... #comedy #standupcomedy #comedian #standup #standupcomedian #tour #comedyshow #saturday #sunday #thisweek

Finally! A lemonade that's not so promiscuous. #jokes #funny #comedy #sips #drinks

My spirit animal is road kill. #jokes #joke #comedy #roadkill #Spiritanimal #roadkill #funny

COMEDY SHOW TONIGHT 7PM at Finn's Grill in #milanillinois #comedyshow #tour #fridaynight #illinois #illinoiscomedy www.facebook.com/share/1JDVZ7...

🎟- This Week •Friday August 22nd. 7pm #milianillinois at FINNS GRILL www.facebook.com/share/16Adpg... •Sunday August 24th. 7pm #milledgevilleillinois at Wally's Playce www.facebook.com/share/1ErUK7... #thisweek #friday #sunday #comedy #standupcomedy #standupcomedian #Illinois #tourdates

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny guys." #batsignal #batman #memes #joke #comedy #funny

"I need 20 ccs of a turkey sandwich, STAT!" #hospital #EmergencyRoom #er #snacks #Munchies #doctor #joke #comedy #pic #funny

I've been seeing alot of talk online and I've noticed it starting to POP up in stores and I just want to set the record straight... Halloween is NOT right around corner. It's still July for Christ's sake. #halloween #jokes #joke #complaints #funny #comedian #july

Whoever invented the bed deserves a medal. Whoever invented the pillow deserves an award. Whoever invented the alarm clock deserves to be beaten to a pulp. #jokes #joke #funny #bed #comedy

I remember one winter when I was a kid I lost my mittens at school. So my parents had to buy me new ones and pin them to my coat… Trouble is the next day I lost the coat. #jokes #joke #funny #dumb #comedy #coat #winter

On the back of my new smoke detector it says “for best results, hold directly over flame.” #jokes #joke #comedy #funny #fire #alarm

How does everyone know about the secret service? Someone really let the cat out of the bag on that one. #jokes

I'm not a psychic medium. I'm more of a psychic large. #jokes #joke #comedy #funny #psychic #size #paranormal

I believe in minimalism. But only a little bit. #joke #jokes #funny #trending #laugh #minimal

I think I'm too perfect to be egotistical. #joke #jokes #funny #ego #comedy

I'm afraid of phobias. #joke #jokes #funny #comedy #fears #fear #afraid

I never contradict myself, but sometimes I do. #jokes #joke #comedy #comedian #funny #laugh

#ikea #news #jokes #punchlinenews #breakingnews #comedy #funny #viral #trending #laugh #joke #comedian

I haven't been feeling much like myself lately. Everyone says it's been a real improvement. #jokes #joke #funny #comedy #myself #improvements #laugh #comedian

In school I was never the class clown. I was the class lion tamer. #jokes #joke #comedy #funny #comedian #school #class