Early Christmas gift?!

I really hate James Corden. Still.

Please admire the 10/10 bandaging skills of @twistedrao.bsky.social. Blue Peter badge for you 😘

Would you like some of my cocktail?

Gemini’s Nano-banana image model produces mixed results…. (Sorry, @twistedrao.bsky.social !)

Graduallllyyy I will win you over 🐈‍⬛

Waited in all morning for Royal Mail to deliver a signed package. Just checked the tracking and of course it says ‘delivery attempted, no one home’. Wankers.

Have we all survived the windy night? SE London seems to have got off pretty lightly.

A very nice big bear man carried my tray for me in the M&S cafe. I may consider keeping my arm in a sling for special occasions ✨

@twistedrao.bsky.social you!

Co-dydramol, hot bath + empty stomach = a wild ride 🌀

Sexy.

I am alive! ✨ had a lovely A1 pulley tendon ‘double release’. Lucky me! All fine and very happy it’s done.

See you on the other side!

I published my new website today. Still a work in progress, but I am definitely a real person now (I think). www.benpark.net

Still thinking about these chips from yesterday. Perfection ❤️

Since yesterday’s post ended up with me being blocked by 31 accounts 🫠.. here’s us in Dungeness.. fully clothed ✅

Dungeness was deliciously weird as hoped. Sort of bleak, sort of very peaceful.

Whenever I post anything with the remotest sign of skin, this happens. 8 so far! I shall go back to a high neck tunic.

Went to the gym, did the cleaning and the laundry, sent my Vinted things after eventually finding an Evri shop with a working printer, prepped the dinner and listened to a podcast about Judge Judy. The end.

Have surgery coming up on my hand this Tuesday. Just had this text from the hospital. Any guesses where CERMSGREFREH might be?! Is it a test?!?

Making a new friend 🐈

@twistedrao.bsky.social and I are going on a photography expedition to Dungeness in a few days time. Any recommendations for particularly weird/ethereal or otherwise interesting places to look out for?

It’s full Christmas mode now in Sainsbury’s

Had my new photos back that I’ll use for work. Think I look ok..? Forgive the extreme vanity of this post 🤢

Reader, he was very excited about joining the club.

I’m going to up into the loft to retrieve a few bits and no one else is in the house so I’m just posting this in case I fall out of it and die to avoid mystery.

Saw this earlier this afternoon. 10/10, excellent.

Sat in Soho Square waiting to meet a friend and a young man sits next to me. Inconsequential until he starts telling me that ‘Jesus loves you very much’. I gave him short shrift and I thought he was going to cry. People are EXHAUSTING.

It really annoys me when people buy things from me on Vinted and then choose Royal Mail. I don’t what to queue to send you my old shirt love!

Also. Hello.

I do not want to get out of the car and go to the gym ❌

If your *only* comment on the genocide in Gaza relates to countries pulling out of Eurovision then you need to take a long hard look at yourself and consider what is important.

Trying to get out of my own head a bit today. The pressure of trying to set up your own business is surprisingly intense. Well, surprising to me anyway. Happy Tuesday!

5-hour drive in torrential rain was a bit gross. But come home to find @twistedrao.bsky.social has put the winter duvet on and made a cake 🥰

Today I shall mostly be driving and trying not to get blown off the M42

Big early autumn energy today 🍂

Happy depressing Christmas from the mothership!

I’m having a photo shoot on Mon for my new website and the photographer has asked me for a brief.Absolutely cringing saying things like ‘I want to look friendly & easy to work with’. I think I might have to have a Valium before we get started so I can actually smile and not look like a murderer 🤢

Surprisingly nice 👍 (from M&S)

The local useless Curry’s is being converted into an M&S. True middle-age delight at this wonderful news 🎉

Ok, so I bought some hairstyling powder. I don’t understand it. How much are you supposed to use?! Not very impressed so far.

I just ate a Galaxy Ripple for the first time in maybe 15 years. Very, very disappointing 😭😭😭. What I would give for a Cadbury Spira.

Restored, grey, etc.

Cureent obsession: music.apple.com/gb/album/ult...

@twistedrao.bsky.social you (but mostly me)

Beards united. Lovely to see you @travelbokke.bsky.social ❤️❤️

Men on paternity leave wearing fucking Yik & Yak dungarees and a topknot calling their crotch fruit child a ‘silly sausage’ really get on my tits. Especially when they’re in the gym entrance and generally existing. Happy Sunday!

Reading in bed listening to the birds makes for a nice Saturday morning. But now.. I must clean the bathroom and generally adult.

Sainsbury’s giving very mixed messages today. ‘We’re watching your FACE and also buy this and be blindingly drunk’