What's the worst part of my job? Showing up. Best part? Leaving.

So is the Pres going to fake this shit more often? What a fucking loser. Just when you think the idiot couldn't get anymore stupid than he is, a new day starts and his stupidity doubles.

Red Lobster Boil. If I cooked that for friends, I'd throw it away, apologize to my friends but say it just didn't turn out and I'd order pizza. If you haven't tried a Red Lobster boil.....don't.

Still got an Amazon habit? That's cool. You know tons of people get roach infestations from Amazon deliveries, right? But it's cool. All that needs to happen is to throw a circus tent over your house and let the pros spray poison on everything you own.

Think things were better in your day? Maybe you saw the Dead in the 70s. Hip to be square in the 80s. Soundgarden in the 90s. If Led Zeppelin was a garage band today, they'd never get a record label. That is a depressing thought. So. Yeah. You're god damn right things were better in your day.

BREAKING. Amazon to start shipping Borax for roach infestations from their shipments while denying their boxes contain roaches. That's a joke. But the part that isn't a joke is people get roaches in their homes all the time from Amazon boxes. Isn't it about time to shop elsewhere?

Only thing more stupid then trump? Ok. If my shit took a shit and that shit married someone elses shit that took a shit and they had a shit kid and that shit kid took a shit....that final piece of shit just maybe almost might be more stupid than trump.

Can we stop saying no kings and start saying what we mean which is Trump, you are a dumb bitch and a pathetic piece of shit.

I think the president might be less pathetic if he had a real pet like a dog instead of his congress cockroaches.

Out with the pack today, smelling the news and rolling in the grass. My 9th day being sick. Dr only ruled out strep. 3 miles from home and I thought my body was ready for a 10 mile walk. I was wrong. The dog wants the full 10 miles though.

Today's 'businessman' (incorrect sexist way to say it, but that's how maga says it) is to be rich and greedy as hell with no concerns about workers. It doesn't matter if they live in a cardboard box and can't afford food. So I'll give the other side this. Trump is a good businessman.

For those who are starting to notice how dumb trump is. Newsflash. It isn't a new thing. He's been this stupid since he was a kid. His brain stopped learning at age 5.

Found a cockroach in your sink? If so, by now they are in your cupboards. Under your sink. In your silverware drawer. In your pantry. In your blankets. Maybe in your toothbrush. This is why your mom told you to always clean behind the fridge and stove!

All those saying trump isn't well.... So you're telling me he was well all along then all of the sudden he isn't well? So you're telling me he was well a year ago? 5 years ago? 10? Newsflash. He's never been well.

Trump is mentally weak. But he's always been mentally weak. That's what happens when you don't know how to do shit like change a tire or tie your shoelaces.

The government hates its citizens.

If you are totally anti trump or maga totally pro trump, trump hates you just the same.

I just want to be warm and cool at the same time when I sleep, is that too much to ask?

I love cooking with dog. She doesn't help much but the company is great!

It has been more than pleasant not hearing about something Bondi said in the last 24 hours.

Every time I hear of a crime where the criminal was wearing a mask and nobody knows who it is, I always wonder if it was Trump.

Mainstream news is just as pathetic as the government.

If you pay close attention to the idiots post today, you'll notice the fear and frustration in his pathetic words. He has always been weak but today his weakness has climaxed to a new level.

If there is a hell and you voted for Trump, congrats! Your vote is a ticket to hell with no exceptions. Enjoy your eternity of suffering because you supported a psychopath criminal.

Pam Bondi, you sold your soul to the devil and now the devil doesn't even want you.

I will NEVER believe that that many morons voted for Trump. I believe usa is better than that. I know there are plenty of idiots, but can't be half the country.

Trump, you suck. If yesterdays protestors were in a single file line, it would be over 3,000 miles. And if each person said you suck to Trump, he'd have to listen to it for 4 and a half months.

Human intelligence is more based on how we treat each other than how much we know.

If you're going for a long walk on this beautiful day,take a moment and research walking. Seriously. There are lots of basics to a simple walk that can extend your walk and make you feel good after.

If you're making homemade pizza, here is a secret. Nutritional yeast and diastatic malt powder will help make your crust restaurant quality. Be it deep dish, pizza stone or whatever.

I miss Kmart. I'm talking 80s Kmart. The Kmart your grandma brought you to and planned the day around it. And had lunch in the Kmart cafeteria. Back when shopping was an event. And it was damn fun.

Fun fact. Sylvester Stallone's first name is Sylvester.

Like the convenience of Amazon shipments? Go pull out your fridge. Take off the cardboard. Let me know how many cockroaches land on the floor. Yep, those dirty boxes bring dirty presents. Rich people can fix stuff like that but honestly, they hate you and just want your money.

Rich people get richer. Poor people get poorer. Hmm....if there was only a history book that says what happens next. Because we are pretty much standing in the crossroads right now.

Ban airports. Unless you need to travel for work or an emergency, don't fly. Try and take a train instead (it is longer but much more enjoyable). We have the power to make them lose money! Stop supporting the people that want to harm you! Again, stop supporting the people that want to harm you!

Dear ICE, Please spend your time at the airports booking flights to Iran and keep our real soldiers at home.

No, I don't want a civil war. Yes, I do want a revolution. No, I won't ever allow a Maga at my home. Yes, I will allow them to fight with us if they wake the hell up. Outside of that, they will never be welcome. Yes, I simply want We the People back.

It is interesting to hear someone tell me of their hatred for AI then do a Google search and read the summary made by AI and ignore all the websites that contain the answers.

Homer Simpson and his yes device would be a better president.

Why haven't I heard of a single ICE wanting to go fight on Iran? No posts on evil Twitter from them requesting? Probably because they only want to harass unarmed people. If they are already going to the airport, they are already halfway there.

When people ask me little things like do you want soup or salad, do you want a soft drink or milk, and I say either one is fine, here is what I mean. The only thing that matters is to end this conversation as fast as possible so I can get back to shutting off my brain.

People need to start studying de-evolution as much as they study evolution. I mean, how much time before Republicans de-evolve into apes?

Why are there more Maga accounts from Russia than USA? Not really a question just a reminder.

Putting a fitted sheet on top of my mattress should be 50 50 on how often I get it right. Yet I've only got it right like twice in my life. The last time was about a year ago and I'm still bragging about it.

There is nowhere in a mall to have sex this time of year.

My moms car still has new car smell. And it's a 2019. Me, I own one for 6 months and you wouldn't know if a human owned it or rats. The older I get, the more I realize the true hero's in life are those who do things the right way, not the easy way.

I see people post pics of what they cook. Here's what I made today.

I told my coworker that I'm getting gyros from the worst gyro place in town but it's the only gyro place in town. She said that means it's also the best gyro place in town.

In a vulnerable spot? Maybe a dark parking lot with weirdos lurking? Go to the police scanner website, turn up your phones volume and say ten four in-between the chatter. 99 percent of the weirdos won't attack if they think you're a cop.

USA is a mess simply because some orange bitch doesn't want to go to jail. All this shit is so fuckhead doesn't go to jail. Putin is the one that can send him there. But unfortunately he won't because he'll be screwed without having shithead as a puppet.