i haven't told my parents yet that i'm dating bc i chickened out last weekend, so now i just had to lie that i'm hanging out with a 'friend' tomorrow bc i needed to let them know to pick me up late 😭

man i have so much to do i really need to lock tf in- *falls asleep at 8 PM*

i am currently experiencing the phenomenon where my work ethic slowly decreases over the course of the quarter despite now being the most important time for me to lock in

so is it normal for your partner to be super affectionate when you first start dating bc bro says the cheesiest stuff to me like those love interests from the otome games i used to play and it hasn't even been a week

my friend invited me to go to a buffet with some of our classmates and i agreed but... i don't like buffets that much... and i just checked and it's like $50 bc it's dinner on a weekend... 😔 the food will be good but i am likely unable to eat my money's worth

i started the switch to apple music and apparently they have a feature where you can import your music from other platforms, so i synced it to my spotify... but i didn't uncheck the switch that said all songs..... so now there's almost 1000 songs saved bc it imported every song i've ever liked...

the bf (wow that feels weird to type) is visiting tomorrow but i haven't streamed in over 2 weeks!!! which means late night stream tomorrow maybe!!!!!

i told my friend and she was like, "does he know about the yaoi?" he does not know about the yaoi

nvm we're dating now :)

no one told me that liking someone one-sidedly meant that i would enjoy the time we spend together then get upset afterwards bc my feelings are one-sided 😔

the date did not happen today but i will redeem myself monday maybe

if no one is going to take me on a date i will simply just take myself 🙂‍↕️

my body must be seriously out of commission bc my neck is still itchy, my lymph nodes still feel swollen, and i was going to study but i was so tired that i just napped for 2 hours

i doubt myself a lot, so i'm thinking about the time my group was discussing therapy options for a patient case and a classmate suggested what i felt like was not a good answer but i didn't say anything 😶

my dad bought me new airpods instead of getting my old ones fixed, but they're the airpods 4 which i feel like don't fit my ears that well 😔

i finally got pop tarts after wanting them for a while and they do give me that nostalgia hit but i will not be buying them again

the update is that *if* we arrive on time in tokyo, we'll take a plane to osaka and arrive at the airport hopefully about an hour before the reservation. then it'll take supposedly 25 minutes by taxi to get there... i think i'm cooked...

sometimes i'll meet a girl with such a naturally cute personality that my self-esteem drops by like 50% by just being near her

i gave the person i like the cookies i made and he had the audacity to ask what i made them for, like motherfuker you know what day tomorrow is

NOOO THE COOKIES TURNED OUT UGLY 😭😭😭

i was trying to check if anyone was in the communal kitchen and i got jumpscared bc someone immediately opened the door as i approached and i ran away to my apartment 😭

sometimes i'll be concerned about a symptom i'm having, like rn my neck feels itchy and somewhere in the back left area of my throat (tonsil?) feels tender and swollen but like i don't care i'm not going to the doctor for this

okay so the whole airpod case no longer works so ig i just have to sit with my thoughts on the way home today

i feel a little better now but two days of no productivity and exams/deadlines coming up means i have to stop being depressed or drop out of school

the weather has been so nice this week that i want to kill the sun

okay so the thing is i DID actually manage to get a reservation but it's on the day we first arrive in tokyo, so my parents are attempting to recover my worsening mental health by seeing if they can reschedule a different plane/train to osaka so we can make the reservation, but i have low hopes 🥲

i feel like such a baby, i don't know why i'm so upset by this

broken and battered, i have succumbed to updating my iphone due to it clearly not fucking working when it's supposed to and wow it's ugly and it lags

I WAS SLEEPY SO I SET AN ALARM BUT I FELL ASLEEP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

was the superbowl always so american or is it just that i haven't watched the superbowl in years

my mom's work is having a bake sale for valentine's day and she promised that i would bake cookies for it BEFORE asking me, so i stayed up until midnight after work yesterday making cookies OTL

soon comes the day when i will have to fight for a reservation at the kirby cafe... i swear that i will emerge victorious...

i bought a small bowl of spicy rice cakes and am now regretting my life choices bc i forgot how low my spice tolerance is

today is the bday of my late grandmother and i cannot be home with my parents today, so i will be cracking open the beer that i've abstained from for the last couple weeks in her honor 🙂‍↕️

school always gives me a constant feeling of dread that i should be productive, but there will be a stream tomorrow!!! trust!!!!!

I WENT TO THE WRONG SAFEWAY AND NOW I'M LATE 😭😭😭😭😭

i finally bought those nerds gummy things after being like 'hmmmm i don't feel like eating candy' for months and now i've finished the whole bag

you know the real struggle is that i don't have many friends so i get confused when it comes to people's intentions with me 😔

i had fun but i don't think it was a date 🙂

nothing brings me more fear and shock than when i send a text and it instantly says 'read' OTL

i know text messages are like instant communication, but sometimes i don't want to respond to something if i'm busy? like even if i have a break at work, if it's not urgent i don't respond until after?? is that socially acceptable???

okay i'm meeting up with my childhood friend but her eta was an over an hour ago and i am still waiting 😔

my uncle has been living with my parents for over a year now and he's the typical example of a guy who hit rock bottom, which is why my parents agreed to take him in. he does have a job now, but apparently he gambled all his savings away again (he's already in debt), so my dad got pissed 😬

my phone has started to ring even when on do not disturb 🤨 is it bc i haven't updated my phone...?

going on twt for the first time in a few days and i am actively resisting the urge to order to the new sasaki and miyano acrylic stands... harusono-sensei... why must you do this to me...

hey so if someone asks to hang out for "non-school" related reasons is that a date

natori's album and a new song from ado releasing this month 🙂‍↕️ truly a blessing for the new year

i am banned from drinking beer this entire week bc i am so behind on everything and i need to be at max productivity 😔

i have this group assignment that's due tomorrow (no one has worked on it 🙂) and i am actively resisting the urge to do the entire thing. i have instead left the hardest parts to my classmates who i will see tomorrow 🙂‍↕️

never k!ll yourself bc the world needs one more not shitty person to exist in it