part of our curriculum at school is that we have to take classes with students from other fields (e.g., nursing, dentistry, social work) and i always feel so incompetent when i listen to them bc i have like no experience compared to them 😭

i can't talk to my friend at school about this bc we're all classmates and that would embarrass me, so i'm meeting up with my childhood friend in a couple weeks and i'm just going to vent all my frustrations to her LMAO

unrelated to my mental breakdown, but i don't think the person i like feels the same way 🥺

the worst part about having a mental breakdown is that i usually need to contain it until i get home 🙂 so i'm just holding back the urge to cry for hours depending on when it starts 🙂🙂

HE'S COMING!!!!!!!!

i used one of those korean filter apps to take photos but the filters made me feel like i was catfishing bc of how pristine my skin looked 😭 i ended up only saving one photo

okay i was feeling self-conscious but i just saw someone on the train wearing ears and a tail, my anxiety is useless

it's actually sunny today and i don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the afternoon so i am feeling this strange pressure to go outside... the sun mocks me...

i'm making too many plans to meet with people this month, my shut-in lifestyle is getting tested

i was going to wait until friday for my dad to change my filter but!! i'm a big girl now..!! i have free will..!! i can change the filter myself!!!

did you know that companies that make supplements don't have to prove their product is safe before putting it on the market

i drank a cup of water from my brita for the first time in a while (i usually drink bottled water and use the brita for when i make tea) and it tasted... chemically? metallic? so apparently you're supposed to change the filter every 2 months and *checks calendar* it's been 3 and a half

i can't post audio alone on here but i have some recordings of me singing throughout the last year on my phone and it's really nice to see how much i've improved since starting :,)

sometimes i put on the frilly clothes that i'm too shy to wear outside and twirl around in front of my mirror :3

UPS SAYS IT PASSED THROUGH CUSTOMS 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

THE OTHER ROUND1 HAD PLENTY OF HER!!!!! SHE'S MINE!!!!!

THEY RAN OUT JUST AS I GOT THERE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i'm so excited... but like also what if she's gone when i get there. what if that location specifically doesn't have her.. what if-

i'm so pissed at myself for ordering the sasamiya plushes from japan bc i'll have to pay tariffs, but i didn't know that the US animate store also had them up for pre-order!!!!! 😭 my money..... 💸

i think i had a good birthday :)

it's always a tragedy that i have to return to school on my birthday 😔

a friend wanted to see my apartment and i had to do a quick mental check of whether i had anything embarrassing displayed 😔

constantly teetering between "never kill yourself!" and "su!cide is always an option"

*gets stressed from a moderate inconvenience* i need to kill myself

my orthodontist is near my parents's house and not near my school, but their hours are incredibly inconvenient as a student who needs at least like 2 hours to get there 😞

i forgor that i linked my twitch in my twt bio and my friend found it 😭😭 and she watched my cover since i linked my youtube in my twitch bio 😭😭😭

oh my god i still hate looking at twt now but THAT'S WHERE EVERYONE IS 😭😭😭😭😭

thinking about her again and i know there's enough fans in the area that i fear her being gone by the time i get there 🥺

got hit with the 10-hour shift tomorrow 😮‍💨 and we were closed yesterday, so there's definitely a backlog 😮‍💨😮‍💨

my brother got me new headphones for christmas and i ~think~ the audio sounds better(?) but it feels tight around my ears and irritates my piercings (bc they probably never healed properly oops) and my hair!! gets caught in it!!! every time i put them on!!! 😡💢 but they're pink so it's fine 🙂

cover is done! *proceeds to never do that again*

i covered propose by natori! 💍 youtu.be/uEW6eiiF_Nw?...

i've always been with family on new years eve, but lately it goes like: *clock hits midnight* "woo happy new year!!! 🎉" *goes straight to bed*

good news: i have drawn the one thing bad news: i forgot i wanted to add lyrics so i am now doing the tedious task of editing them into the video

i haven't worked on the video for my cover yet (i have to draw literally one thing) and now i have *checks calendar* 4 days before the year ends

my bday is in a couple weeks, and my bday last year wasn't that great bc i didn't have anyone to spend it with so i ended up taking the train to my parents' place on a weekday while having a breakdown BUT

so merry christmas to all the fujoshis and fudanshis youtu.be/v5NcQfw5mUM?...

for my japan trip, we'll be visiting osaka, hiroshima (courtesy of my dad), and tokyo, and my dad told me that tokyo can be whatever i want to do, so i'm looking up where to visit and i mostly want to go to harajuku 🤔

now that i'm kind of an adult i finally understand how adults forget what day it is bc i just had the realization that tomorrow is christmas eve

my dad says he wants to try eating horse in japan :0

sometimes i think about how the aquarium near where i live did an animal crossing collaboration but i didn't have any friends at the time to go with so i was going to go by myself but then i forgot 😔

christmas can't save me from this disappointment 🥹

i got assigned to safeway for my rotation this quarter... please keep in your thoughts as i waste away...

also my uncle has been living with my parents for a year now but i've noticed that he doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom 😭 like i can hear when he flushes the the toilet but then he immediately opens the door 😭

i accidentally dropped my earring behind my dresser and when i peeked behind it, there's just a huge pile of dog fur covering the back 😭 i can't even see the floor 😭😭

i've considered reading webcomics on my breaks at work but there's no connection in the hospital except for the employee wifi and i fear whatever guy that manages the internet will catch me reading yaoi 🥲

yesterday i was asked if i could work today, and i honestly have nothing to do but my weak ass body needs to recover after 1 day of working

if people start to ask too much about what i do outside of school and work, i feel obligated to inform them that i am otherwise a shut-in outside of school and work

wait wdym team cherry is making an expansion for silksong?????

STOPPED ONE GUY FROM KILLING HIMSELF TIME TO DO IT 5 MORE TIMES