She’s so pretty though 🥹

Kicking & screaming as I pack my bags to head into the shit storm weather of Chicago

I’m so good at dodging stress on Fridays, you honestly can’t tell me shit. But Mondays, your mommas still a ho

My job is actually just beach now

I can’t imagine this is a good sign 🥴

If you STILL aren’t on the katseye train, what are you doing? Hurry there’s still time

“Gabriela” by KATSEYE reaches a new peak of #21 (+1) on the Hot 100.

Why are they kinda giving step sisters that don’t like me ~energy~

Idgaf how hot you are, the second you pull out that clackity clack fan it’s an ick for me 🥴

Just in case you got distracted

Wine drunk at Benihana, don’t call

One last trap for the road ✌️

That bugonia movie was absolutely bananas

Marking my words here for next year when the spice girls announce the tour: I’m cashing in all my chips to go

Wait also sprinkle in some of the softcore hockey show ✨

Pssst...wine induced underwear shopping is actually the key to a happy holiday

Now that merkins are kinda trendy, I think it’s time we revisit the broad city phone wig???

The way that every one of these posts scare the shit out of me

Dopamine levels have risen, highly recommend

let’s get these bones movin, shall we?

Me Tarzan, where’s my Jane

Me Tarzan, where’s my Jane

Scorpios rise up

Just a few of California’s newest residents

Public speakerphone users don’t get into heaven, just sayin.

What’s it called when you’re pro summer but also welcome spooky season?

The Toyota Camry of jockstraps

Does anyone else have 12 pairs of the same 5” Nike running shorts but only wear the same 2? Or is that just a me problem?

The world would honestly be such a better place with at least 2 more seasons (I’m begging)

Who’s joining for Just Dance

This is so real when you skip market days

Allison Janney has been, and always will be that bitch

Lollapalooza persists but so do I

Nothing beats a jet2 holiday

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they navigate a sidewalk, can I get I get an amen?

Bing bang bong, sing sang sooong

High key, not being able to nap as a full grown adult is such a problem lol

Flew into Chicago just in time to learn about corn sweat and mama it’s sticky

Hey siri, play two of hearts by Stacey Q

sitting in the back of the uber while the driver assumes i’m white white but understanding every drop of the cuban tea he’s servin

circuit remixes of songs are kind of the worst forms of music to ever exist

6’ 2” for today and will not be taking any questions 😤

Omg? Milfshake next

Get in loser, we’re going ______

I need to break the habit of the 6:00am gym bag NEEDING to be already packed or I’m not going

Name a better feeling than the room set to 68 degrees with a clean set of sheets, I’ll wait..

Are you almost here? It’s getting hot

Every year I wish someone would wish me happy flag day so I can abruptly ask them “what did you just call me??”

Quick reminder to keep comments about peoples bodies out of simple daily interactions 💞

Diva down 😵‍💫