The way that every one of these posts scare the shit out of me

Dopamine levels have risen, highly recommend

let’s get these bones movin, shall we?

Me Tarzan, where’s my Jane

Me Tarzan, where’s my Jane

Scorpios rise up

Just a few of California’s newest residents

Public speakerphone users don’t get into heaven, just sayin.

What’s it called when you’re pro summer but also welcome spooky season?

The Toyota Camry of jockstraps

Does anyone else have 12 pairs of the same 5” Nike running shorts but only wear the same 2? Or is that just a me problem?

The world would honestly be such a better place with at least 2 more seasons (I’m begging)

Who’s joining for Just Dance

This is so real when you skip market days

Allison Janney has been, and always will be that bitch

Lollapalooza persists but so do I

Nothing beats a jet2 holiday

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they navigate a sidewalk, can I get I get an amen?

Bing bang bong, sing sang sooong

High key, not being able to nap as a full grown adult is such a problem lol

Flew into Chicago just in time to learn about corn sweat and mama it’s sticky

Hey siri, play two of hearts by Stacey Q

sitting in the back of the uber while the driver assumes i’m white white but understanding every drop of the cuban tea he’s servin

circuit remixes of songs are kind of the worst forms of music to ever exist

6’ 2” for today and will not be taking any questions 😤

Omg? Milfshake next

Get in loser, we’re going ______

I need to break the habit of the 6:00am gym bag NEEDING to be already packed or I’m not going

Name a better feeling than the room set to 68 degrees with a clean set of sheets, I’ll wait..

Are you almost here? It’s getting hot

Every year I wish someone would wish me happy flag day so I can abruptly ask them “what did you just call me??”

Quick reminder to keep comments about peoples bodies out of simple daily interactions 💞

Diva down 😵‍💫

Coconut cold brew is such a slam dunk for summer 🤤

messy queen boots

At the risk of sounding ancient, it’s such an ace of base friday— kinda morning.

Applicant’s resume had experience working at Nothing Bundt Cakes— and now I can’t think of anything bu(nd)t cake

I’m a really annoying sick person. No I don’t have time for this, can we get this over with, let’s gooo, I’m bored!!

Are you the person in the relationship that remembers everyone’s name or the person that relies on the other to remind you?

Building’s fire alarm went off within seconds after this

Oh baby, we are so back

🎶 Digital digital get down 🎶

I can’t explain it but having a coffee at 3:00pm on a Friday is the equivalent to running on a moving sidewalk

jk sf let’s goo

Friday yet?

Coffee ain’t strong enough this morning but at least mercury is out gatorade 😮‍💨

right before they had to claw me off the boat

🎶 I’ve been feelin this familiar feeling like I’ve known you my whole liiiife 🎶

istg it’s always the nissan altima with a mirror missing

This part👇