I love my bestie, but I am starting to get kinda hurt every time he says "congrats" when I tell him about something that upsets me or something "tragic" that happened in my life... like a textbook "i hope you're ok" or "that's rough buddy" would have sufficed 😭

I hate how everything is so competitive in my head. I hate the animosity I have for the people I care about. In my head, I know I shouldn't feel this way because I care about these people, but my head is also an awful bitch.

i feel like an adult but also like i still like an "edgy teenager who wants attention". i do not like it.

appetite is fluctuating so badly. anxiety is on the high. mental state is definitely tittering. i am hoping for the best, but oh my gosh, im so stressed.

i've come to realise that im not very good at talking unless there is a set topic, but i will listen to you or be a body double.

might try to fast over the weekend. i need a system cleanse.

something that haunts me is the time when someone said that shrimp are insects of the sea. i die a little inside every time i remember that.

gurl i exercised for 20 mins and my back hurts. i am so out of shape.

legit just forced me back into the relationship bc she threatened to jump off a bridge. it's twisted how she used that against me. i actually don't know how to deal with this. i know i should straight up leave, but the fear of her actually doing something bad is real and scary.

i honestly never thought my first relationship would've almost been a decade long (i say almost bc it hasn't reached 10 years... it's been 8). i've known her for longer. i'm not going to be looking for a relationship any time soon, but i feel a sense of fear of being alone.

broke up with her... she threatened to go to the afterlife... i am stressed

omg... the way i opened this app so fast, so i can just type this out to get this out of my system... she did not just say that... she did not. omg pls if u know anyone who has scars DONT SAY THAT THEY LOOK OLD AND SHALLOW!! she makes me want to crash out. i can't.

randomly thought how even though im not active as much anymore on here or on x, it really doesn't mean ive recovered... my disorder stays with me. it never leaves and it lowkey kills any thoughts of "what if im faking it" bc no... i am definitely not

a guy confessed to my gf. i've always struggled with jealousy whenever my gf talks about another girl/guy, but rn, i don't feel an overwhelming sense of jealousy. which sorta makes me proud of myself because i have been working on that.

y'know you've been bed rotting too much when your back starts to hurt so much that it wakes you up

i need to remember that i made this account for venting and sharing the messy thoughts in my head so i don't explode in real life. i definitely need to start using it because i clearly need it.

the rage bait on tiktok is so stupid and annoying. ppl really need to learn how to scroll instead of commenting awful things. i hate how they trash on ẹď spaces. literally just block us. your algorithm is tailored to you, so maybe stop watching or commenting on éđ content.

i really want to drink some coffee right now, but there are people in the house working on the ceiling

i remember when i wanted to go to a cafe and the person i was with said "ew" and im just like wdym ew???? what kind of reaction was that???

i sometimes feel so much hate and resentment bubbling inside my chest because of all the problems in my life but i still don't go out of my way to invalidate other people’s experiences because "i have it harder"... it is not a competition

working on not swearing so much (it's apparently easier said than done)

i would like to be a ray of sunshine in real life, but ive become too aware of how crappy life is that it's kind of hard to stay positive

contrary to popular beliefs, i have a brain... and it's hurting so much right now (this heat is taking a toll on me. i hate summer)

ok so it seems we're both not feeling mentally and physically well rn so i will be here instead of bothering her...

found out that most of the ppl in my friend group are lowkey waiting for me to break up with my gf. they say our relationship is toxic and that my gf is treating me badly, so i should break up w her. the worst part is, they're kinda right. i hate that I keep waiting for her to change.

trying to get out of the habit of scrolling through comment sections on tiktok bc the increase of ppl who leave hate is insane. gotta remind myself that those are just ppl who have too much free time and have nothing better to do but spread negativity and rage bait.

i am honestly perfectly content with being alone, but it's when the ppl around me tell me it's a problem. it gives me unnecessary fomo. i was literally fine before they started making it an issue.

i hope im burning cals bc my room is like a sauna

got on my stepper and started walking cause fck that feeling

i feel grossed out after eating lasagna... it's been a while since ive felt this way

gurl i forgot i was fasting and ate a banana...

constipation has me fighting for my life here

every time i give myself bangs, i always end up disliking it after a few days, but it's either that or showing my forehead

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ caterpillarsky intro 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ๑ cozy ๑ 21 ๑ she/her ๑ sapphic ๑ pro-recovery ๑ originally from twt ꒰ #edsky #caterpillarsky #edtwt #lemonwatersky ꒱ ╰► updated info ✧*。

i am so painfully awkward irl and online... i am seriously considering using the textbook "what to respond in a conversion" bc i end up saying absolutely random and nonsensical things... plus i stutter a lot

officially 21 today 💅✨️

i did not buy a stepper just for me to not use it and let it be another part of my room decor

i look like absolute dog water today and that's okay...

ok, for my birthday gift for myself... i gotta start being more active and actually staying consistent #caterpillarsky

if u see this qrt with your pinterest homepage ♡

my mom sent a picture of me to a bunch of relatives, which would have been fine had it not been a picture of me with a double chin... aigoo i can already hear the judgment and criticism

OOF got sent back with a whole 4 page google doc worth of feedback and tips on how to revise it... 💔

just submitted my research draft... best appetite suppressant bc if it doesn't get accepted, i won't feel like eating bc i will be sobbing

my tt fyp always knows when im back on here damn

wait why am i actually so upset over this... i feel so uncomfortable. like i ate the cookie from alice in wonderland that made her big instantly

got caught being a big back and scolded for putting too much nutella spread... honestly understandable but omg i feel so bad

got a stepper so that i can at least get some cardio in

im back from my parents' house, and i also got braces

i fear i might never get to be as śķịŋņƴ as i wish to be

had to take meds to help my period, and now i have to wait a week to see if my period comes or not...