Come correct with me. My “I ain’t got time for this shit” ain’t got time for that shit.

Kind of hard to film and play at the same time but happy I learned things again like usual. Stuff like this is my porn. If only it paid me enough for me to help out people I care about who desperately need it.

Felt cute, might keep them blocked until a better administration takes place.

Once I finish this job, it’s onto another one. I should invest into extra studies so I can be extra efficient in areas I’m not. Would be smart, as I’m trying hard right now with this one job at least. I want it good enough, not perfect. 😴😴😴

Gotta love having a strong tendency to stare at things you know you’ll never get. Even if “never say never” was applicable in theory, a lot of things would still be “never” Time to break that cycle, dredge less, further optimism. While still on that Omnicide kick.

2 weeks nicotine free and it’s been easy for a cold turkey run. But all of what’s going on lately is virtually inescapable and adds to a kind of stress that undoes shit like this. But stay the course, don’t bend, know your inner truth, it’ll all be worth it. All I can tell myself for now.

Never tell certain people you’re quitting nicotine. They cross boundaries and act like the number one internet doctor. I’m 3 days in, the physical habit has waned decently over the desire to hit a vape, which I trashed all at the same time. Fuck a bitch who steps out of line though.

The face of a few minor setbacks for a new music release. One is this heat. The other is I took a longer break than I thought I needed after spring term got out. A few smaller things aside that. But I have the ability to maximize on something with the distributor, so it’ll all balance out.

Why does it seem like every post I say I want to see less of, I get shown more? Some stuff I just don’t want to look at, and it still shows up.

People who tell me I fake my heat sensitivity should stuff a dick in their automated twat.

Burn Everything… 2025

until the day of my birthday, use this code for 50% off anything on my bandcamp page. i'm working on new stuff at this time, and think there'll be way more by end of year as well. #bandcamp #music #synthwave #industrial #rock #metal #electronic #portland #oregon #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #autism #adhd

released a new #song today. using everything i've learned between #industrial #metal #rock and #filmscore elements, this is the result of my finals from my prior #college term. if you dig, do the like/comment/sub (or check the #Bandcamp link in description). More to come later this year!

Ripping bandaids off is good when it means letting go of luggage that let you down one last time.

It is great to know I warned people on very specific things and they never listen to the point shit blows up in their face. I should stop warning people about anything if that’s the case. Be surprised when the explode happens, like “oh no, I didn’t see that coming” Can’t trust, go bust.

Doing website stuff while it is warm as fuck outside and inside enough for me. Part of this contributes to my finals grade this term. While at the same time, I’m ready to start inching towards my future potential a bit. Only thing I need is the custom font I want to work. Eventually though.

Feels good for official. Gonna continue enjoying my quiet time, which currently has been some video games, thinking of a VGM to cover, and all these guys sending me vids tugging it like business advertisements. Life is strange but good either way.

I do weird stuff and make weird decisions a lot…

dunno why some people think i'd support current american politics. why would i support erasing LGBTQIA+ rights, including trans rights? sorry you think my morals/values/standards are that low. not sorry i will no longer be a friend, or help you in any capacity. fuck the hate and division, yo.

Aqua Teen Industrial Force, assemble...

This gonna take a minute to get fully set up… ensuring everything has the appropriate VST/VST3, AAX and so forth. Not looking forward to the process, but looking forward to finally soaring after 27.5 years.

sympathizers and people sowing division over personal or religious beliefs in my local music scene? no thanks. all these receipts though starting to look like the biggest tax refund i'll ever get in my life. tellin' ya, my "silence" period is coming to an end, and we're only just beginning.

the amount of shit i actually want to say across a LOT of topics or personally observed situations in life, is kind of staggering when i think about it. but, in due time, i'll funnel it into new work in the new computer after this coming weekend. i think my period of "silence" is about over...

Homeworkin’ from home as if it’s work.

College has really been a blessing at this time. Maintaining all A’s so far this term that I’m aware of, and my refund check just helped me fund into a computer that will let me do everything I was doing a decade ago with virtually zero hurdles. Thinking 2 EPs through the year from that.

some of those that burn crosses are the same that hold office

the sun is dead and the stars won't rise sitting back watching as the whole world dies

It will keep doing nothing forever…

compared to 2018 when i hit one of my lowest moments in life, writing this and reflecting on it is like an affirmation that i got here because of me and no one else. some people still deserve the rightful credit as they did partly contribute to it though.

People be like basic math. Great at multiplying and dividing.

the amount of shit i could say right now as a #cisgender #gay #man who is a registered #independent and a #synthwave #deathmetal #musician. all over my choice to advertise my BSKY 3 days ago and watching DM's go semi-nuke over it. articulating what to say in single/threaded posts just isn't it...

completed first MUS-101 quiz, 100%. stuff i either remembered or forgotten since high school musicianship. only concern for online classes is how much WRD-098 is packing on, and it is testing my ADHD quite a bit. terms i do not understand along with Sunday and Wednesday due dates for assignments.

First on-campus class was dope last night.

A bit of synthwave influence, a bit of rock and metal influence, a bit of a concept. This one starts dark, gives a bit of a “hope” vibe, leaves the soap box unanswered. I enjoyed writing this EP. More to come soon.

This is not what it’s like to chew 5 gum. This is however what it is like to get ready to play more games before bed time before getting on my metal grind or my 🏳️‍🌈 grind for Sunday. No apologies for 2025.

After my last thread post, I should update that all is clear and going back to college happens in 5 days or less. Now to actually complete a new song before that time happens. Ugh.

it is easy to bitch about anything, but for the sake of things, kind of reflection here. I've been putting in the footwork to return to college, including petitioning my old debt from the Fall 2007 term which was successful. I've applied for scholarships and have been (1/4)

if i had known the M2 Pro 12c/19g/16n config with 32GB memory would be such a detriment to my work needs in composing music, i would have skipped and taken the hit to get the base M2 Ultra with 128GB memory. almost feeling like i need to switch back to Intel PC to meet my needs at this point. ugh!

At the gym doing gym shit because routine to help out with sorting through the mess of my brain (ADHD, Autism). And thinking about why we just lost another apartment manager after like 3 months at best.

Returned to the gym tonight after a year off and for a first workout, felt pretty damn good even for pushing it a bit. 50 minutes tread with varying inclines and speed, 200 rows. Time to relax it off and move into chill mode.

At 41, chasing a dream in music since it was born around 12/13, I’ve hit a point mentally where computers are so amazing but so damn expensive for me to achieve a large array of things, therefore I’m still fighting for that dream against the limitations and odds of modern consumption.

After helping further set up an IEM system for a local metal band tonight, finance crunching for Monday onward, and hopefully this next investment idea can help me work towards buying a Mac Studio M2 Ultra/M4 Max +, so I can actually record more songs without peaking my CPU in under 12 channels.

So like, when does the trained algorithm kick in? I’ve been working for a month to undo as much politics based internet from all my stuff because stress and mental health care. Where’s the synthwave, the death metal, the industrial, the memes and comedy, the random gay thirst traps, etc? Wtf? 🤣

One game series I miss playing: Fable (the original trilogy). One way it might be feasible again: replacing my M2 Pro Mac mini with an Ultra and 128GB memory so I can actually work more and more efficiently. This M2 Pro has officially become a bane more than my 3900X did within the first 6 months.

For all musicians and bands who follow me on here at this time: if you got music available via YouTube or Bandcamp, link me your shit in the comments. If not, I’ll be looking when I get back on my music rig in the next few days or so. I want to know what you’re doing.

Got awarded my first scholarship today towards my college education. It feels like proof that this was the right time to go back to college. So ready to push this shit to the max.

So thankful to pick up iZotope RX 11 Advanced during black friday. I just cleaned up one sample significantly enough and tweaked with it in Ableton a tiny bit... I need to sample more things around the house and implement this approach for this next EP or album. But first, prescription pick-up!

So I joined this platform to avoid anything related to Politics, since it's a contentious topic for me, being autistic. Seems some of the posts still come up, but I'll have to deal until I teach this algorithm to show me things that I want to interact with or see more of.

A bit of synthwave influence, a bit of rock and metal influence, a bit of a concept. This one starts dark, gives a bit of a “hope” vibe, leaves the soap box unanswered. I enjoyed writing this EP. More to come soon.

at the going rate, i'm so ready to start my college classes and take this attempt at a career for over 27 years to the next level. the fact i'm also behind on a new release is a bit "meh" but doing what i can with what i've got for now.