@mettabug.bsky.social
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Oh sweet purpose, where art thou
All that space within the moment, gimme that
1 day ago
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With great power comes a great utility bill and possibly a service upgrade with really great power
8 days ago
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Will we ever feel fergalicious again?
11 days ago
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It is illegal to say âsomeone should really kill the presidentâ. Remember that. Absolutely do not say âthe president should be killedâ. That would be illegal.
11 days ago
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reposted by
James Talarico
about 1 month ago
There is something deeply broken in this country when the Department of Justice is arresting journalists but letting pedophiles run free.
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So like what are we waiting for? We have confirmation he raped kidsâŠ. WHEN IS SOMETHING GOING TO BE DONE ABOUT IT?!? I donât understand
about 1 month ago
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Being an educated and empathetic person in America kinda sucks right now
about 1 month ago
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Iâm not saying anyone should do itâŠ.. but like if someone did do it, the world would be soooo grateful. But like Iâm not saying to do it
about 1 month ago
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These people have to be really stupid or really evil to still support this. I really hope theyâre just stupid
about 1 month ago
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I think ima throw a party when he dies
about 1 month ago
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I miss precedented times
about 1 month ago
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I should really take off work tomorrow cause it would be my birthday if I was born on that day
about 2 months ago
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I love snow blowing, I just donât like how long it takes to make the snowman
2 months ago
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âAre you okay with getting the little gnome one? It has lady bugsâ. - a Haiku by
@marshmellowfluffs.bsky.social
2 months ago
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Iâm bringing a heavy âlate stage capitalism is suffocating the human spiritâ energy to our workâs team building activities that I donât think they were prepared for
3 months ago
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âI luh dat crackâ - my wife
3 months ago
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Meeting inspector at a site for final inspection Inspector: âwhere are the labels on the main service panel?â Me: âhuh thatâs weird. Wait whatâs that behind your ear?â I reach behind the inspectorâs ear and pull out all the labels like the greatest uncle/magician of all time. We failed inspection
3 months ago
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When I was a baby a wizard cast a spell on me so that I wouldnât want to work or care about a career
4 months ago
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Low stakes conspiracy theory: two of the biggest players on the packersâ, aka the cheeseheads, are âLoveâ and âKraftâ. Come on now
5 months ago
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âCan you microwave a lime without repercussions?â
6 months ago
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Anyone have any show recommendations? For context I really love shows that are nostalgic and remind me of a specific time in my life.
7 months ago
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7 months ago
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My favorite color is oh my god bitch
7 months ago
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-sees open sign at restaurant. cool, go inside to eat -get inside and the sign now says closed. Okay I guess; leave the restaurant -go outside and see open sign. Repeat infinitely
7 months ago
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Non-vacation me is feeling annoyed with past vacation me
7 months ago
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Vacation me doesnât worry about how much things cost and how much money Iâm spending. Thatâs for future non-vacation me to deal with
8 months ago
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I find comfort knowing that the sun will completely engulf the earth in a mere 7.5 billion years
9 months ago
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I drank two large margaritas and I feel incredible. Is that normal?
10 months ago
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Yall donât need saunas if ya got an attic
10 months ago
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I just read the entirety of âHouse of Leavesâ on a bottle of Dr Bronnerâs
11 months ago
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I have purchased so many extended warranties for my car, but I keep getting calls saying my warranty is expired. These must be the shortest warranties ever.
11 months ago
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reposted by
11 months ago
âI do all my cooking with my balls, eye ballsâ
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The finale was good but I was a little disappointed by the lack of dong
#whitelotus
11 months ago
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Urinals be getting sleeker and sleeker
11 months ago
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When I was vegetarian I discovered that comparison is the thief of soy
11 months ago
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Yâall ever say âoopsie doopsie I made a pudding whoopsieâ?
11 months ago
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If someone is sending me too many emails I walk by their office and fart
11 months ago
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If anyone knows of any 90 year old orphan millionaires that are still looking for someone to adopt them, send them my way
11 months ago
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âMy hotdog hand got really coldâ
12 months ago
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Squidward Tentacles is the biggest millennial sex symbol, and honestly it makes a lot of sense
12 months ago
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The unfortunate part about having sex in the same room as dogs is sometimes I canât tell who sheâs speaking to. For example âgo lick your butthole somewhere elseâ
12 months ago
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The snow is too heavy. I shall not remove it. You canât make me remove it. I wonât remove it. Itâs out of my hands
12 months ago
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Revenge is like gazpacho. Itâll probably stain
12 months ago
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Itâs a doggy dog world out there
12 months ago
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Donât take anything I say seriously; especially this statement
12 months ago
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If you criticize me, I will cry and I will make a scene. Choose your words carefully
12 months ago
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Fact: 80% of statistics are made up on the spot
12 months ago
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This too shall pass, but like wtf
12 months ago
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As soon as it starts to get light out when I wake up we set the clocks ahead and itâs back to feeling like I wake up in the middle of the night
12 months ago
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