Dear political shows and podcasts. You do not need to do sports coverage. You announcing a score is just useless. You are a political show. Unless you are diehard and know your shit, it just comes off as cringy. Remember a certain Notre Dame coach doing a fake southern accent? Same vibe.

If Todd Blanche was the nominee under Obama, his nomination would not have gotten this far.

If Todd Blanche is not your moral line in the sand, than who is?

Democratic politics is now just… ‘Remember that thing that was illegal and really pissed you off last year? It’s finally going to court 12 months later and we won!’

San Diego, what’s your excuse?

The next Democratic President should just abandon the WH and fine a nice, simple place to live. This tacky bullshit is going to cost so much to undo.

Dear Inside the NBA, please stop trying to make Draymond Green a thing. He sucks at TV and punches people in the dick during his playing days. Enough.

I hate the internet. You look up a waffle maker one time and this shit will not stop trying to sell me one. My kids asked about a waffle maker. I am not some sort of waffle-making freak that I have a collection and am buying new ones every week. Please fuck off.

It feels kinda weird to realize that a French man (Wemby) and a French women (Liberty, Statue of) are towering over NYC right now.

Rich people who could afford to go to game 3 at MSG booed Trump. I guess it’s all fixed now, thanks.

If AI is functioning right now without interruption, what are all the new data centers really for?

LA being super proud how Spencer Pratt is not going to be in the runoff is peak 2026. We are fucked.

I remember a time when good pickles were affordable.

The first case of screwworm in the US was at Trump’s first inauguration.

AI is just that lazy kid in class trying to copy the smart kid’s answers on the test and still getting it wrong.

There needs to be a 1-800# for ADHD intervention hotline. I’m trapped with indecision and just need a stranger to tell me what I need to do to get unstuck.

America’s 250th birthday feels like a funeral.

I went from the ‘how many cookies have I ate,’ to ‘how many are left in the box’ stage.

Knick’s fans still screaming ‘Knicks in four’ after game 3.

Been watching cable TV like it’s the early 2000’s and I would just like to say to the single ladies at America’s Test Kitchen… Hey…

Madison Square Garden is actually round. I am an Architect.

The Knicks game with Trump there would be a perfect time for Black players to sit out to protest what SCOTUS has done. It’s a dream, but it would have an impact.

All publicly funded stadiums need to have ticket prices capped so the public can afford to go. If you want to gouge the public, build your own fucking stadium.

Eating food before it can go bad, especially before leaving town for a bit, should not count as calories. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I thought the ballroom was an indoor venue.

I would like to start a taco stand called ‘Nothing-burger’ and trademark the name and sue anyone who says it.

I hate ESPN, example #236: They show more press conference footage than actual game action.

NBA media: How do u get Chet more involved offensively? SGA: hmmmm

Shooting nothing but 3s when you are down and when you have the tallest player in the league sucks to watch.

New rule (old take): If you are bounced from the playoffs, your commercials are no longer allowed to air. Any sport. Looking at you Tatum.

NBC is determined to remind me of why I hate Jimmy Fallon.

Hearing all about the players still playing in the NBA playoffs, it is starting to feel like the Sixers traded away a finals team.

I hate watching SGA play basketball. Same with Harden.

Alex Caruso wearing a white headband on his bald white head makes it look like his entire body got circumcised.

I hate Chet.

I can never just fill a soda from a fountain in one shot. I always have to double-tap like I am a soda assassin.

Reading books is just ancient scrolling.

Can we please stop referring to Trump as a President and more correctly refer to him as a dictator? Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Trump’s 1.8 billion dollar kickback for rioters is illegal because it violates the 14th amendment. Why is no one in the media saying this?

Taking the kids to see the ‘Baby Yoda movie,’as that call it, today. Seeing it on the 46th anniversary of ‘Empire Strikes Back’ being released is kinda awesome.

All Russian cities sound like Vodka to me.

So why would people keep going on cruises? I can have bad food and shit myself in the comfort of my own home for much cheaper.

If AI is already here and not that many people are using it, or even paying to use it, what the fuck are all these new data centers for? Is this how ‘The Matrix’ started? Are we all going to be batteries soon?

I saw Fandango joined Bluesky. I can feel the service charges coming through the phone.

The orange teams in the NHL are exciting to watch and both look like they are a year ahead of schedule.

Shitting on California for giving free diapers to poor families is peak loser behavior.

The NFL is dangerously close to Kevin Hart levels of overexposure without the substance to back it up.

The NBA should take notes from the NHL and assess a foul for embellishment. (flopping)

My new Bluesky ‘please stop scrolling’ strategy is that I get to scroll until I see a pretty bird and then I have to put the phone down.

The window of time when I am tired enough to sleep is the exact time between periods in hockey. Once I miss it, it’s gone for hours.