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Lemon zest is such a weird concept. It's like, yeah I get it, lemons exist.

Fun Fact: There is not a single US State capital that is also the most populated city in the state. There are only 17 exceptions.

I am very good at racing games because I have driven on the 405 in real life.

@rascal.bsky.social Very Big Wheels at @galacticcamp.bsky.social

Soon there will be two dogs inside me.

Mom said it's my turn with the free will.

There has never been a plane crash from a major commercial airline where the pilot was a furry.

tree

Can't believe I got mentioned in yesterday's [Bracket City]. Thank you! @theatlantic.com

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Bugonia (2025)

My friends are mad at me because I said "I am W" but they thought I said "IMW."

Back in high school I read a book called One Thousand Nine hundred Eighty-Four. I didn't even read it I used the cliff notes.

Recipe for Rascal's Wonderfully Delicious Mashed Potatoes: Step 1: You boil the water Step 2: You pour the packet

Went to one of those new Erewhon grocery stores. I purchased a Koyaanisqatsi, Powaqqatsi, Naqoyqatsi, and some eggs. Total cost was $1,509,301

Why the hell is Prego collecting our data? What can they possibly learn by listening to our dinners? "Mmmmm I love the spaghetti" "Mmmm I like the pasta" *slurp slurp* *burps* "God this spaghetti is soo good" "Now that is a spicy meataball" "Gar lick bread" "Ragu sucks, pass the panini" 🍝🇮🇹🧆

I don't care what anyone says I can take on 100 gorillas in a fight or whatever.

Back in the day we had badass city names like Luxor, Babylon, and Tenochtitlan Now we have dumb city names like Columbus, Cleveland, and Cincinnati

Fun fact: Did you know that Florida is not a peninsula but actually an island? This is not a bit or a joke. I am serious. Florida is mostly an island. They cut the state in half in 1937. This is 100% true you can look it up.

You can only kiss the mirror, but only with your lips.

Kpoop Demon Hunters lmfao

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought with, but World War IV will be fought with LAZER BEAMS.

That shark that chewed up the underwater internet cable deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

TikTok Demon Hunters

my cat loves the nip

Out of all the Artemis II photos, this one is my favorite. It's not as flashy as the others, but to me it's beautiful. Christina Koch pointed her camera at a black patch of empty space, and kept the exposure open for five minutes. It revealed a whole universe hidden in the invisible. Stunning 🌠🌙🌌🛰

Are you hungry? Why not have some Pringles. It's exquisite cuisine. Come on in and purchase this chip, come enjoy these crisps. What's that? You're going to get Doritos instead? Really now? You think you have the audacity to buy another brand of chips. You will regret that purchase.

How it feels to take off that stupid wristband after LVFC.

Just dunked a churro in coffee.

You know the cartoon is going to be good when Weird Al makes a cameo.

Going to Las Vegas tomorrow for the con. Sports betting apps are bad. Prediction markets are bad. Polymarket is bad. Kalshi sounds like it should be a cereal for middle aged moms. Gatcha games are bad. Robinhood is bad. Gambling as a whole is bad and should be reserved as an occasional treat.

I have a geography trivia question for you. What country has the most people? Brazil Because they have a brazilian people.

I went to the soup restaurant but they said there was no soup available because they were out of stock

You can't drink and drive, you can't smoke when pumping gas. But the gas station sells cigarettes and beer????????????????

Imagine if in Lord of the Rings it was an orb instead of a ring. They would have to call it Orb of the Rings.

A coyote and a wolf in their natural habitat.

Going to open my own Sea Lion show All I have left is to Seal the Deal

Just found out hotel guests use the coffee machine to clean their underwear. Now I have to use the hotel washing machine to make my coffee I hate my life.

What exactly is rope? What is it?! It's not string. Before we had CVS receipts we invented rope to satisfy the big long? You take apart a rope, what do you get? More tinier ropes. I don't trust like that.

"you'd never survive a cod lobby" ok you would never survive Garfield

Digital footprints 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾

My cat loves to cuddle.

The existence of a Strait of Hormuz implies that there is also a Gay of Hormuz.

Confession: Sometimes when I struggle to find a parking spot I park in an EV spot and stick the plug into my gas hole. Pretend I'm driving an electric vehicle. I have never been caught. People have praised me for caring about the environment. My car is 26 years old.

A couple minutes from now will be an hour from now.