> Hear about the song "Silent Night" > look inside > not silent

The government.

Hey guys I did the math In 2012 Disney bought Star Wars for $4.05 billion dollars The six movies at the time are 13 hours and 25 minutes That is 48,300 seconds That is $83,850 per second Ben Quadinaros is on screen for 18 of those seconds That means Disney paid $1,509,300 for Ben Quadinaros

Dear " ""Santa"" ", (mom and dad), [(Car●l and Stewart)], 😠 {[(Liars!!)]} ❤️ Love, Evan and Sarah

I'm ready.

So the other day I met a guy named Steve and he had a peg leg. I was like, "lol what is the name of your other leg??"

Line

The airport is a lawless place. 7am? Drink a beer. Tired? Drink a beer. Hungry? Drink a beer.

FURRY THANKSGIVING: - COMMISSIONS CLOSED turkey - BREADABLE biscuits - SHE'S MASHING IT potatoes - MOMMY MILKER mac n cheese - PIZZA found in the hallway - FEMBOY stuffing - SUSPICIOUSLY WEALTHY ham - beans

Went to one of those audience participation screenings for The Wizard of Oz. Worst mistake of my life. Halfway through they started throwing asbestos back and forth.

Working in customer service be like:

Creature

Nature is beautiful.

Congrats Mamdani.

One of my favorite game is Hades. In Hades, you play as Hades, from the House of Hades. You must travel through the land of Hades (which is called Hades) to escape Hades, and at the end of Hades, you defeat the final boss of Hades: Hades.

I thought Rashomon was a pokémon but it turned out I didn't remember it right.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on me. Fool me four times, shame on me. Fool me five times, shame on me. Fool me six times, shame on me. Fool me seven times, shame on me. Fool me eight times, shame on me. Fool me nine times, shame on me.

Kitty litter and CPUs are made of the same thing.

Downtown Abbey

If you have to use the self checkout, they should give you a discount.

Snowmen are evil.

Archival Footage

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Went to the flea market today. Not a single flea for sale. Four hours of my life wasted.

If you see someone wearing a ring it means they are wearing a regular gold ring and not a lord of the ring. If they were wearing a lord of the ring they would be invisible and you would be unable to see them.

Salt is sand you can eat.

Joke: What menu do gamers use the most? Answer: The pause menu!

I'm putting together a team

When a furry gets accused of doing inappropriate things to animals:

Inside you are two wolves. #fursuitfriday

Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA the Genesis

Just found Jeff Bezos is getting married in Venice. I don't understand. I thought Jeff Bezos was anti union.

Had the nightmare again where I was pushed into the McDonald's ball pit and wasn't allowed out until I ate all the balls.

Or they put a hexagon around it to contain it for a very different reason.

Instead of separating bathrooms by gender it should be the piss room and the poopoo room.

If Buzz Lightyear were a public transportation vehicle he would be Bus Lightyear.

We grew up watching Jimmy Neutron, but today the dad from Jimmy Neutron.

Thank you everyone for coming.

Titanic 9000

I just consumed a devastated meatball and my life is changed.

How come only kids can compete in the national spelling bee? Let me join I can definately beat them.

My favorite scene in Starship Troopers is when they drink maple syrup from the bottles.

Mischievous peasant attempts to sell the Lord a brick, stating that it is a bag with 30 gold coins inside.

Obama means family.

Imagine booking a rage room, but after your 30 minutes the guy comes back to check on you and the room is cleaner and tidier than it was before.

Fluffy Friday