the sudden realization that trauma is essentially a mechanic in hardcore games and that this is probably why my interest in gaming tapered off ~9 years ago . . .

"I never tasted honey so sweet as your love your tenderness knocked me off my feet I fell in love with the sweet taste of blood from a stone it's torture masquerading as bliss the feeling has gone left me so far from home and I'm feeling alone" Yeah, we still don't deserve Above & Beyond.

be the blossom that refuses to fade because others think your time is up.

seek not for those we love to forgive us, but for them to understand us well enough that they no longer need do so.

Holy fluff, the new Dana Terrace show is *wild*. I'ma need the rest of the season like right meow.

Okay, I give up, I'm never catching up on my work emails.

Some of the best advice I ever heard about playing an instrument: leave one where you can see it. Instruments are things of beauty and will attract you to playing them and practice will never be a chore. (my new acoustic bass is *amazing*.)

In the last 369 days I've spent 89 of them in Canada over the course of 8 visits. first: just wow. I hadn't added it up before. second: the perspective this has given me on the fall of the US is just crushing. I don't want to give up on my loved ones here, but I increasingly want *out*.

okay, search engines are useless at keyword negation and making this tricky to answer: are there any GOOD digital picture frames that don't require WiFi or an app and just load via SD or USB? this has to be a thing, right?

In the past six weeks I have traveled more than ever in my life in order to see people who I love or with whom I want to connect more deeply. I am exhausted but fulfilled in a way that I didn't know I could be. If you love someone or something, take the leap. We're all better for our connections.

My career at this point mostly involves my jumping into disasters and simultaneously playing firefighter and kindergarten teacher and grumpy historian.

Let the light shine the way to your future.

At my favourite spot in the airport, drinking my favourite coffee, watching the sunrise while I wait to go see someone who makes me feel more loved than younger me would have ever thought possible. Sometimes while we worry about what could go wrong, we forget to dream about what could go right. 💜

What a beautiful weekend of food, music, and love with a few really amazing VR friends.

whenever I feel adrift I think "more bookshelves in the house would fix me" and this is probably not addressing the root cause of what's going on but is also probably True

"If I'd fall with all the strength I held inside, I wouldn't be out here, alone tonight."

"Shine on. Don't you ever let nobody hide your light. Keep shining." I love DnB.

I can't believe that of the dozens of people who recommended Linux Mint to me over the years, not a one mentioned it can't be major-version upgraded in place via package management. Ugh.

I miss living in a city with a real hip hop and R&B station where the DJs don't mix, they cut and BLEND.

First time back in the south in a decade. Got some weird looks at the airport, but at the festival a lady wearing a huge cross called me 'girlie'. So either I pass better than I thought or there are some good Christians left. Either way, I'm happy.

Gals. For the love of kale and lattes, PLEASE make sure you're getting enough calcium. Osteoporosis is no joke.

air conditioner rattles in my window, seeking equilibrium. rough fabric of the sofa pushes against my thighs, seeking equilibrium. breaths rush in and out of my expanding chest, seeking equilibrium. our guide asks us to gently accept the sensations. stray thoughts pass like thunderous clouds.

It took me two hours of tweaking settings and like 4 mods to make it playable without frustration or literal nausea, but I'm successfully playing a game! Me! In 2025! Now Clair Obscur bad better be as good as everyone hyped it up to be. 😹

that moment when the girls in your book finally kiss after like 400 pages . . . yessssss. 🥹 (holy fluff, one really good book really does make up for the other 4 out of 5 that fizzle. 💕)

I am seeing so many beloved people right now dealing with fallout from *other* people they're involved with making unpredictable decisions. Broken promises, false expectations, or just sudden loss of kindness. But please believe, loves, it is rarely your fault. Bend, but walk away before you break.

My property manager always puts a post-it note with my real name and a little message over my legal name on documents she drops off for me so it's not the first thing I see. That's what a real ally looks like.

Today I Learned that estradiol is an adenosine reuptake inhibitor. I'm going to pretend this explains so much about how eepy I am sometimes.

I guess there must have been a recent tour because everywhere is playing Oasis and I am so very okay with this. Feels like going back in time.

Most precious of all to me in this life is that I have people who know me so well, they can remind me of the things I know about myself and gently guide me where I need to go when I forget them. 💜

Credit card companies having this policy is transphobic discrimination... I will not debate this fact. If a Cis woman can change their last name after marriage off just a few minutes on chat support but a trans person can't change their name on the account without jumping thru ridiculous hoops...

Today a person who I haven't seen in over 10 years randomly said hi to me in public. It was oddly disheartening. I've never tried to become someone else, just a better vesion of my self. But I really thought I had changed more dramatically than that for all the blood, sweat, and tears I've spent.

My ISP bill went from $75 to $85 and I called them and used my stern mom voice to get it down to $70. But WHY do we have to put up with this crap?? Copper/fiber/spectrum are a gov't-limited resource but then they don't regulate the companies that use them from making citizens' lives hell. 🤬

For the first time in my life I am finding it so easy to get through tough workdays or rough news cycles because I have this amazing group of family and partners taking care of me. I am more grateful that I have ever been, both to them and to the wise women who taught me how to love them back.

I love encountering people who walk softly and touch everyday objects gently and speak without hurry. I know they're grounded and present and having a moment full of intent and awareness and I love that for them. Its contagious like a genuine smile from a stranger.

Having family in two countries and two legal names is a special hell. PayPal, Venmo, and every bank I use have all shut down my accounts at some point in the last few months because they think my card has been stolen and there is ZERO recourse to get it fixed. They won't even try to help.

Increasingly over the past few months my peers and I are having online purchases get cancelled even after our credit card is charged. The company always says it is "fraud prevention", and the pattern is clearly when some AI gets upset that our payment name doesn't match our shipping name.

Flying west at dusk is so magical, getting a sunset that lasts twice as long.

"Let your heart break so your spirit doesn't." - Andrea Gibson (rest in remembrance) 💜

I didn't ever have "teach a cute girl how to use docker" on my list of cute date ideas, but 2025 has been full of surprises. What a lovely life. ^_^

I get so energetic and excited after finishing a big project / deadline that was making me lose sleep, I can hardly sleep the next day. Thanks, brain, very helpful.

what's it like having normal keratin and collagen? I get so many bruises, scrapes, cuts, abrasions, and more bruises doing very normal things, it looks like I fought a tiger after just a week of intense chores, heh.

Half my city spent Pride drinking, dancing, partying, shopping, and relaxing. I spent Pride moving heavy furniture and boxes because my LGBTQ family have had to move between countries so they can be with their partners and not get arrested and try to find healthcare. Our Prides are not the same.

[slaps top of belly] you could fit so much tummyache in this badgirl.

esoteric hyperfocus that randomly stole my evening and nearly hurt my wrist: andalucian cadence de fandango but french jazz reharmonization.

A love letter to my future self, if she ever feels hopeless again: Really amazing days will come again and again. Keep working hard to make it to them, sweetheart. Build that world.

I really need to catch up on food pictures, but in the meantime, I just want to brag that I made a special soup for someone who lost their taste due to covid and they got their senses back within minutes. Kitchen witches are real. >:3

oh. my. goddess. If you get a chance to go see Andrea Gonzalez Caballero play, do it. Just go see her. Even if you don't like classical guitar, or classical music, or guitar. She makes music in a way most only ever hear about in legend.

music is magic. food is magic. intimacy is magic. tea is magic. laughter is magic. books are magic. dance is magic. teaching is magic. listening is magic. words are magic.

I've had people compliment me me on an interesting life. I've had people say my life sounds like something out of fiction. But today someone heard stories from my life and declared it a cognitohazard because nobody could ever hope to explain it all. 😂