so, anyway, this is why i don't fw protonmail ☠️ www.404media.co/proton-mail-...

officially booked for LA! come play with me 3/23-25, prebookings & deposits required. 😽

strongly considering a trip to the LA/OC area towards the end of this month. if you've been admiring from afar waiting for me to plan a trip out there, send a smoke signal. 😽

breakfast in bed? 🌞 #oursky #gfe #vegas

meticulously planning out my disco nap so i don't fall asleep before connor storrie's SNL debut tonight(!!) - anybody else? 🪩😴

dear universe: this weekend i would like a man to take me shoe shopping. 👠🔮🤞🏼

guys! guys! look! remy is here! 💞💞💞🥰💐

RIP backpage, we never knew how good we had it

idk what it is about wednesdays that make me so feral but if a man with impure intentions could come over and set me straight today that would be 10/10 🧐

good afternoon to simps and simps only 😘

USA women.... i can show you the world 🎶

okay, since when is it $100 for a damn oil change? need a man to bless my cashapp for this injustice immediately. 🫠💀

well now i'm all worked up and there's nobody here to take advantage (....unlessss) 🏒

truly nothing i love more than waking up on a sunday morning and seeing tips in my OF mailbox 🤑❤️‍🔥

who up watchin' the boys at the aquarium? 🦅🏒 #teamUSA

so, what are we doing this weekend, #vegas?

hell yeah team USAAAAAAA 🏒🥇🙌🏼

on my way to get some face-zappy lasers at the med spa, because this is how i look in direct sunlight with no filters and i intend to keep it that way! (send $300 if you love seeing glowy skin on bratty babes.) 💖

just added a whole bunch of cute valentine's day ideas to my wishlist, if you're looking for a way to express your unyielding devotion 🌹

new boot goofin' 🥾

imagine standing me up for our date when i looked like *this*? crazy work.

only gal in the nail salon not getting a red mani today. (pay for it if you love me.) 💅🏼😘💜

had a cancellation for tonight and y'all should have heard me cackle when they said, "please keep the deposit." babes! why do you think i HAVE a deposit policy? of course i'm keeping it! 😝

many thanks to the lovely rascal who sent this Lego set from my wishlist... i stopped doomscrolling the news for a whole 90 mins! 🪴

"hey, you available this week?" 0/10 "hi heather, i've just filled out your contact form and provided all of the info you need in order to arrange a meeting." 12/10

never forget

finally got a haircut (...but if you're subbed to my OF then you already know that.) ✂️

listen i am just saying i think botox should be covered by health insurance 👩🏼‍⚕️

it's official, i'm coming back to NYC for a quick little jaunt next month. prebook now or forever hold your peace. 😚

can i be your favorite distraction in a mad world?

don't mind my nosy son in the background, he's just here for emotional support 🐾

If you're looking for SW creators who actually use this app... I made a starter pack of active providers. real people, real content, none of that ghost account nonsense! ❤️ To be added, follow all & comment! go.bsky.app/QGLFqY7

hitting on men by asking if they've watched Heated Rivalry yet 👹

many thanks to all of my little minions who spoiled me today 💞🥳🫶🏼

it's my birthday! (pay my rent.) 🥳🎈

birthday nails wheeeeee 🥳💅🏼💜

i want a yacht and really that's not a lot... 🧐

picked up all of your stocking stuffers yet? 🎄

told him they don't make these babies like they used to, so he went out and found a vintage model. ty daddy. :)

how's the weather down there? #vegas #oursky #gfe

it's sooo hot when you send separate gifts for the holidays + my birthday 🥵🎁

submitting my entry into the "hot bisexuals who can't sit normally in chairs" competition.

all i want for christmas is you(r money) 💰🎄

the first man to book a duo with us is gonna be the luckiest man on planet earth, i reckon... 🧐

haven't lost my twitter (yet?) but i think new pics should get posted here instead. what say you, peanut gallery? 🧐

dropping some new bait -- i mean, pics -- on the OF page this week 🪤🍯

if you're thankful for me, you know what to do...

behold: the best way to make a first impression 😍👏🏼