All I crave for is either death or my dreams to be realized. Now. I need a break. I cannot get myself to do really anything. School is not something I can do, this life is not something I feel I can live. I need a new one. I will never be able to create my amazing ideas, or be happy with this life.

I know I am unloved, never a priority. Just a side character to watch. I have already said this but I feel it has reinstated inside of me worse. I'm never part of the friend group, never a close friend, never even a close partner no matter how many times people try to talk to me, both online or irl

It's always them, and never me. I sit around, forced to see. My screams are frowned upon, while the others get pulled up to their feet by the rest. I know I am hated, but they refuse to admit to my face. They keep telling me that "we're mates!", and they never tell me their real hate.

I am not truly loved. Never a partner. Never a close friend. Never family. Just sat aside, to watch everyone else frolic in their amazing love lives, as I am expected to watch and always know, I'm never fit for real love. I shall be ignored, forgotten, and left to rot in the quietly condemned.

I will make this post here, I KNOW MY PFP IS A LEOPARD 2A4, and not a 2A4M, same goes for my banner. Canadian tanks are uparmored different so I couldn't find any destroyed ones.

I know I am at fault for what I do, I know who has abused me grounded that mindset into mine, only for me to repeat it. I know I can't stop, and I only beg that I could. All I ever am is the one people talk about when I'm not around, the one forgotten about till appearing.