"And it came to pass that for five full years he bore this watch in great discomfort, keeping it in his person as one keeps a treasured burden. And when he entrusted the watch unto me, saying, "Guard this, though the way be hard". Thus did I hide this stubborn watch in myself for two years more.."

So will Goodwin have anything to say about all that obvious family voting in, erm, Budapest?

If JD Vance takes any more Ls this week, he'll become a Welsh village.

Remember when Congress Republicans were clamouring for Lloyd Austin to be removed for the crime of not telling Biden he was in hospital.

This was pretty inevitable. Things didn’t go your way? Call us at the grievance factory and we can ship an alternative immediately.

“You want deported? I’ll give it to ya”

Anas Sarwar's Edinburgh Warm Up Gig didn't go well then?

"Look what you made me do" is so on brand for that mob.

Enjoyed reading Tom English’s review of Lord of the Rings. Especially the bit where he gives out to the hobbits for starting the bother by trying to vandalise a lovely ring.

With the Union Bears bricking it once they got to our penalty box, Danny Rohl is likely to give them a starting spot in attack next weekend.

Mooby Dick

Ben Arthur a beacon of calm tonight. Thank goodness.

Add that Maeda sclaff to death and taxes in the inevitability list.

Once again Statemrnt FC get rewarded for three days of moaning about a handball.

Looking forward to Reform FC blaming blowing a two goal lead on electoral fraud.

Beaton watched that screen with the look of a losing gambler who prays the replay will show his horse actually won.

He looks like what would happen if the Marx Brothers made a Hellraiser film.

Fairy-ox-tale debut!!

'Better Together'

Dallas will choking on his bit of sacrificed goat at the Lodge.

Pressley looking like he's in a Temu production of Slow Horses

Mandelson has long come across as a Tom Ripley-type figure in so far that to him, wealth represents admiration, respect, and a freedom from judgement and consequences.

Can't wait for the upcoming Celtic TV interview where Mike Nicholson tells Gerry that keeping Engels is, if you think about it real hard, just like a new signing.

Oh look. Someone's complaining about how hot that kitchen has got

That's so sweet, Nigel. Now go sit in the hotel room chair and wait till he's done.

Board of Peace Member leading the way.

As insipid as the Government's response to Trumps' comments have been, there should be nothing stopping them going in two-footed on this guy.

"....and then Trump Gaza City Hotel. Vladimir will come in for a share with and bankroll half the construction costs. Lukashenko and Viktor will handle Casino Security....."

I'd say if Trump shaves 20 minutes off, he has a decent Edinburgh Fringe show there.

Yvette Cooper should be calling in the US Ambassador and issuing a formal rebuke for this.

Emergency Services being called to SW1 in response to reports of an irony-meter causing a massive explosion.

Still no Celtic signings in the window! Has anyone thought of telling Brian Wilson that the SNP said buying players was a really bad idea?

Difficult to be sensible and pragmatic with an administration that sees the UK as little more than a glorified crew.

Reform‘s latest Transfer Window signing…

We seem to have a new winner of Sportscene’s Goal of the Season 1983/84

If we tolerate this, Canada’s next

The only shiny thing I want a woman to hand him is the wrong holy grail

It’s like someone went onto ChatGPT and asked for an image of the Two Ronnies as one guy.

Reform must be concerned about being labelled a Mickey Mouse party, as they’ve brought Jenrick in to paint over it.

Has Beaton left to try and get to Tynecastle in time to bail Hearts out?

I agree, Nadhim. A country that appears to reward behaviour like this is very sick indeed.

Such unbridled joy on Sportsound just now, I thought they were re-playing the Scotland Denmark game.

Waiting for the stampede from MAGA commentators asking about where this guy’s laptop is.

“….The National will go to the Lakeville Road boys. The Capri to the Corleone Family. The Sevilla Biltmore, also, but Eddie Levine of Newport will bring in the Pennino Brothers -- Dino and Eddie - for a piece…”

All this tells me is that OFCOM have told Kendall they'll do the bare minimum.

H-2-No Signings

This 'Killing Eve' Reboot looks promising