I now live near Ally Pally. It took me a while to understand why I'd see groups of lads getting off the tube in identical, bizarre, fancy dress outfits.

So the FIFA peace prize is respected more than the Nobel one. Who knew?! #c4news

Republicans still supporting Trump have sold their soul. #c4news

Listening to Trump's press conference makes me both ridiculously angry and physically sick. #c4news

I'll be watching #c4news tonight - the first time since before Christmas. I think Trump invading Poland... sorry, I mean Venezuela... warrants it.

For fuck's sake, America, get rid of those bozos you put in the White House (what's left of it). They're dangerous lunatics.

Are the people who are still letting off fireworks suffering from some kind of weird, toxic, NYE attachment syndrome?

Watching Sky's #Amadeus. It's good to see Rory Kinear cornering the market in playing slightly pompous, ineffectual leaders.

If I were still capable of political optimism, this would cheer me up...

Shit! It's 2026 How did that happen?!

My annual bah humbug post about how I hate NYE, fireworks, crowds, and trying to get excited about a particular time (yes, I will be in bed with earplugs). I'll be more magnanimous tomorrow and will defo wish everyone a happy New Year.

... and people wonder why I've never wanted any of the nasty, diseased-ridden critters of my own.

I've just spotted a seagull sitting on a chimney pot, next to a crow, down my street. I love multicultural North London.

I was reading in bed when I lost hold of my tablet, and it fell forward and smashed my nose. It sucks to be me.

This holiday season off work, I was going to catch up on a load of dramas on TV. Instead, I seem to be binging (and loving) the whole of #TedLasso. It is what it is.

Yep

I've lost a piece of Bombay mix in my cleavage.

From the racket going on outside, it seems Sunday is the new Friday and bin day.

I just fell over in the bathroom (my own fault). I managed not to smash open my skull, break a limb, or decimate any of the fixtures and fittings. I'm counting it as a win.

Because I'm Olympic-level lazy, I haven't left the house since Tuesday. You'd think I'd be going stir crazy by now. You'd be wrong.

Agree. They're cumbersome, ugly and pointless.

My Christmas afternoon film is #IngloriousBasterds. Because nothing says festive fun like shooting Nazis.

Whatever you think about Amazon, you've got to hand it to those hardworking algorithms. They never take a break from selling you cheap tat, even on Christmas day.

There's a bird outside whose chirp sounds like the noise a smoke alarm makes when the battery needs changing. Not sure what Darwin would make of it.

I don't really do Christmas, but Pinterest just presented me with a load of pictures of Henry Cavill, so I'm taking that as being on Santa's nice list.

I regret having baked beans for lunch.

Someone call the cops, hostages have just been taken at the Nakatomi building!

How I know no one reads my posts? ⬇️ No one replied

Can I just say how nice Baileys is...

Hi Bluesky people. I've just got Apple TV. What would you recommend as good to binge watch over the Christmas break? I prefer stuff that's ready to watch, rather than still being dropped week-by-week.

That orange skin is very, very thin.

Back at the theatre. This time at @almeida.co.uk for a play called Christmas Day

The world would be an infinitely better place if years ago someone had sat Trump down as a child and told him he wasn't anything special, he couldn't have everything and anything he wanted, and not to be a cunt.

This downward trend for Reform is the best Christmas present yet.

The world would be an infinitely better place if years ago someone had sat Trump down as a child and told him he wasn't anything special, he couldn't have everything and anything he wanted, and not to be a cunt.

You might have to apologise for being JD Vance, though. #c4news

Surely, the government can sue Fujistu?! #c4news

Shouldn't Trump's name now be redacted?

Shouldn't Trump's name now be redacted?

I'm going for a personal record of 13 consecutive days having breakfast in bed*. I'm on day 3. Wish me All-Bran** *Maybe I should get sponsored or... **sponsorship

The shortest day vibes* are not being helped by it being grey and overcast. *My first ever use of this word. Hopefully, my last.

Reform: the party for losers, inadequates and bigots.

Instead of stupid conspiracy theories about pedophiles in a non-existent basement of a pizza restaurant, maybe MAGA Trump fans should look at the conspiracy of silence orchestrated by the bloke they voted into the White House, about an actual pedophile.

Just returned from the theatre. From my timeline, I gather Trump has shat the bed again.

I'm at the Hampstead Theatre to see this. It's a scary play. I didn't realise when I bought the ticket. I don't enjoy being scared. Wish me luck.

The plumbing issue I've had all week has just been fixed. I hopefully now can relax into my Christmas break without worrying about floods 🥳

My Instagram feed seems to have an inordinate number of people out walking and coming across stray kittens. Where are all these kitties?! Why aren't I on the cat redistribution network?

I get that the news needs to challenge politicians, but this focus on the budget seems to be ignoring the measures proposed. #c4news

We have a male problem. #c4news

Fascist Arsehole Course 101: a) Decide you want a thing that doesn't belong to you. b) Make up some bullshit story that it was yours all along. c) Steal the thing. d) Graduate to Arsehole 2.0 - Making your bald, runty, sorry excuse for a human being the prototype for the Ubermensch