✨ manifesting fucks to give ✨

how do I cope lol

why do i keep trying to tell my mother my mind is normal actually why do i keep trying to tell my mother why do i why

ok but imagine black ops showing up at your door and being like "person who's inappropriately horny for clowns, spiders, and cosmic horrors? we need you to come with us"

what if we defeated the monster by being inappropriately horny for it

not the pharmacist arguing about my weight 🥲

Iron John by Robert Bly

wait, why did Aaron have a calf-shaped mould in the first place?

am I worried that panhandlers will become dependent on handouts? no, I'm worried they'll die

nah, sis, you do this because they asked

you're going to stand in the coffee room for ten minutes talking about your costco trip and you're not even going to bother to fill the kettle, and I'm the antisocial one?

just caught sight of my partner's laptop, and they're looking at 3D maps of Liverpool for some reason

Hello, police? Yes, I'd like to report some people wearing stickers I don't approve of. Please hurry.

"make it so that" bitch do you mean cause

bravely resisting the urge to text the group chat apologising for my existence and everything I've ever said

good thing 2015 was our last first-past-the-post election

can't distinguish my healthy coping skills from my self-destructive fixations tbh