Can't wait for Dampe's Heart Pounding Gravedigging Tour in 4k

Being sued by Blitt and Gaines over credit card debt that I've already settled, another great day in Scam Country

Went to the local farmers market today and let me tell you AI image generation has revolutionized the farmers market booth signage space

Saw a toddler running around butt ass naked at the splash pad downtown today, shit was funny as fuck not gonna lie

My wife made friends with a Puerto Rican girl at the apartment complex pool a few days ago and we're already getting home cooked dinners brought to us

My local DSA chapter is having a bake sale this weekend, all proceeds are going towards overthrowing capitalism

Black people love Nickelback

Went to the gas station today and it was heartening how people aren't letting this terrible economy stop them from enjoying cigarettes

I was at Petco and this lady in line was like "Pup cups?! There should be cat cups!" and speaking to no one in particular about how cats are better than dogs

My wallet and belt now permanently smell like jalapeño seasoning thanks to working at the chip factory

Decided to pull the trigger on Sonic Frontiers because I've been on a Sonic kick and it's on sale on Steam as a bundle with Superstars for $24

Now if I could only vanquish my most hated enemy: the ants that insist upon intruding into my garden level apartment

Fuckin love the weekend baby, spent an hour at the driving range and beat Sonic 1 as Amy all before 11 am

May be leaving the MAHA aligned chip company soon for a union job with a big international chemical concern, this would really make things a lot more comfortable for me financially

No Church in the Wild was such a badass song to listen to in 2011 while you drove your mom's car to 7/11 for snacks

The day it finally happens I'm gonna go outside and do Big the Cat's celebration dance from when he beats a level in Sonic Adventure

Department of Eating Ass goes so hard

Someday I hope they find a cure for this pepperoni

I live close enough to the sticks that going to the supermarket on a Saturday means dealing with every yahoo in a 30 mile radius who has apparently never had to face the concept of other vehicles around them or heaven forbid pedestrians

Wife ordered something from Shein and apparently when you do that some 3rd party service called SpeedX sends some tweaker to your address at 11:00 at night to ring your doorbell a bunch of times and then leave your shit on the porch, another reason not to buy shit from them

Just heard Seth Rogan is gonna be in Sonic 4 as the voice of Chronic the Hemphog

I was able to Google the word "disregard" just fine, sounds like a skill issue

Saw a guy the other day sitting in his tractor looking down at his phone and started singing "farmer on his phone" to the tune of Riders on the Storm and then immediately cringed at myself

Blasting QR codes from across the production floor got me feelin like Halo in this bitch

You're in a bad place rhetorically when you've got to split hairs about how "it's not *all* child porn"

Gonna take the Graham Marquee to work tomorrow

At this point I should know never to trust mechanic shops but I definitely trust the transmission shop I was ready to drop around $2k at that was like "yeah nah I drove the shit out of this thing and it's working normally, i plugged it into the computer and shits normal thats $90 come get it today"

Went down to the Kenosha Dunes right by the lake today and it looked and felt just like the Presidio in San Francisco. Wisconsin has so many little micro ecosystems that people know nothing about

Went to the gross beach today on the opposite side of the jetty from the harbor where they let all the trash and sewer runoff collect so it doesn't mess up the rich peoples boats

I saw a crane today out by the river and all I could think about was wringing its neck and bringing it home to my cat to show him who the real hunter is

Apologies to future me for withdrawing that 401k i could have had that $10k when I was old as fuck but i need like $5.5k right now to pay these dang mechanics

Strongly considering trying to get hired by the devil (Uline) because they're by far the best paying for warehouse work in the state but they do hair follicle tests which is absolutely crazy for a forklift job imo

Absolutely crushed this morning during my mother's day call to my grandma when she was talking about high gas prices and I said "thank president dumbass for that"

Why are George and Newmann from Seinfeld doing TV commercials for shitty mobile games they look so goddamn old

Tinnitus and 8 hours a day on a forklift have caused me to constantly hallucinate backup alarm sounds

There's a guy walking around the plant with a gun but it's ok because they brought him in here to shoot all the birds

I'll always remember Rudy Giuliani for those Six Flags commercials where he danced to the Venga Boys

I'm the guy who takes a picture of the high prices on the gas station sign to upload to r/pics with a snarky caption about how you should have voted for Kamela, that reddit karma completely makes up for me being a fucking loser in every other part of my life

Reddit sucks dick because everyone on there is either 12 or 56 or both

It's called pico de gallo because it tastes like getting your cock bitten by a rooster

Getting a peppercorn stuck in my cavity and biting into it later like a CIA agent's cyanide pill

The Sonic Origins compilation changed all the music for Sonic 3 that deceased pedophile Michael Jackson is rumored to have worked on and it sucks because those were all the best tracks

Avis gave me this stupid full-size SUV because that's all they had available and now I gotta extend my rental and they're trying to charge me SUV rates but I never wanted this big stupid thing in the first place it sucks ass to park

Fuckin love being old. Just finished watching the Godfather on Pluto and said "they don't make em like that anymore." Once I get into fishing it's over for you bitches

Tomorrow I may find myself the owner of a brand new used 2015 Ford Fiesta

Last day at the job I sure hope I get the chance to steal some of that Toney's chocolate

Guy who only relates to the world thru Sonic the Hedgehog: Wow President Robotnik sure went and got himself in a lot of trouble in Oil Ocean Zone

Thought I would get ahead on rent and prepay for May but I underpaid by $.50 and there's a $1.75 service charge for every single payment lol

Tornado broke up before it reached me the Great Lakes have saved me once again

This Minute Maid fruit punch has a kratom backwash taste to it and it has me worried I grabbed someone else's drink from the breakroom fridge