I was waiting for a rental car Which I am very, very, very good at

This is the small beep on the cassette before the sound begins This is the countdown to the movie reel This is the drumroll This is the uterus where we are before we begin

I just want to feel So much death, a hole to nowhere

In the doctor's office Speculum pulls me open Spacing my space Accidental sci-fi

Once she was a mystery of life Now she is skyping with her friend They are both childless It rings a hollow tone: childless

But the tongue is a pawn for the restless An indecipherable alphabet Each word an eye, lidless

No future Oh, the fruit flies

When we die we become paper Charcoals and a marker pen

Take, take, take your platform hands and run, I say Between train track thighs

Untie my hair from the ocean of winter The roads and the cars Dissolve behind me as I untie you

Do you hear me calling? It's not in the words It's not in the rhythm

This is a thirst glazed with honey dew

As I inhale, as I inhale, as I inhale and feel my lungs fill up with black breath to exhale, what comes out is: I wanted to write to you about love.

A new, smaller mouth opens inside my mouth One takes over and splits the face open From the new mouth a new face appears And then a new smaller mouth opens inside

Back and forth and round and up Avoiding the loops of the mind

My body is an effigy, a hearth of some kind I reach for the lighter

And when she had me, the midwife Looked her in the eye and said 'Poor baby, you're so scared'

From Tvedestrand, my white gown that curls around the harbour fetal-style. I never was a girly girl, forgive me!

Whatever it is you are doing to yourself You are always performing some kind of internal construction work

I felt tight against supple, cool against hot, wires and skin. I've always been like this

Whatever it is you are doing to yourself You are always performing some kind of internal construction work

Climbing the ladders just to fall uncontrollably to Heaven

I'm six or seven and dreaming that I'm a boy I emerged out of the water and went into the garden with a small silver hand between my thighs

With the other hand I open rooms With the first one I write

As if a song can communicate With the spirits or awaken the dead I mean, isn't that what it's for?

Once I tried acting I was the virgin in the cast Like I wasn't quite human Performing alabaster

You're a girl, you're a boy, you're a girl And I love you

A basilica of stone waiting for skin I stood on the rims and carved the tree rings in

I moved in with a group of nurses in Collingwood They looked me in the eye and said, 'A concept is a brick It can be used to build a courthouse of reason Or it can be thrown through the window.'

And I felt I crossed paths with a version of me A concept, you could say, but not she who stayed behind She who quit everything, music, and identity Just left a little blood behind and a fever for me to share

I've always tried, I've always tried To prove that I'm the living Connecting dead parts

I have a darkness inside Come on and be swallowed Come on in and you'll drown

Climbing the ladders just to fall uncontrollably to Heaven

O I need the fire, the rushing of the fire Release me from the night

The vowels have cut along your back And consonants are glazed along the wet line of your eye

The dark sky lay against my skin So close Like an eyelid

And we were running then, horse and wolf and girl, braces on her teeth like a bridle, a bride, a bridle

My body remembers: In a distant memory, I have hair all the way down to the ground Probably because I'm lying on the bathroom floor But I imagine it is fastened there, to the floorboards And I think to myself: 'This is where I come from'

And I am holding a disco flashlight It is meant to make the audience Feel like multitudes of colors That belong to nobody in particular That they share between their bodies But now all it does is light up a proposal

The here and now is a gift You may take it or leave it But I give it to you, nonetheless It is given

I wake up to the first frost, experienced Previously inhabited, like a summer house

Wood is a woman I guess I'd burn

My gaze spills your blood through the body Each drop makes a coral in the sea My skin was forged out of seaweed

'What's this album about, Jenny?'

When I, on a whim, followed her suddenly into a room And kissed like blood intinction to avoid thinking of death

As I inhale, as I inhale, as I inhale and feel my lungs fill up with black breath to exhale, what comes out is: I wanted to write to you about love.

I've eaten apple kernels to sing you apple trees

Spat out that neoliberal, girly heart that held no blood and made no beat, just vibrated sweetly in the chest

You hear something unfamiliar and strange Don't look away Take it in

She wants to disappear, she wants to be ashes, musk, breath She has worked on it her whole life