For legal reasons, we have stopped selling Junior Mints.

It’s like most of you don’t even WANT tickets to this year's ErnestFest.

It's not Halloween until Pop ruins a screening of Halloween by shouting "Look out Jamie Lee!" every five minutes.

Cat People > Cats

Not many know this, but all copies of Orson Welles' F for Fake are technically forgeries.

If it's got an Estevez in it, you know it's quality. Low quality, but still quality.

Come to Clover Kiss this weekend for our interactive Saw experience!

Thinking of having a PB&J (showing Paul Blart and then Jumanji).

Dreams are reborn at Clover Kiss. Like Frankenstein’s monster, but still.

Hey. Hey you. Yes, you. Watch a Robert Redford movie.

Betamaxxing.

Our staff is as salty as our popcorn and twice as buttery.

Sorry our promotion ended without anyone being able to identify the object in the lobby (it was a VHS tape).

We'd love to see a film based on the life of that dog from the Beethoven movies. I'll bet he got so much tail.

If you get some odd charges on your statement this month after visiting Clover Kiss, it's likely not us. We take pride in only stealing credit cards from people who deserve it.

Love the movies? You'll probably want to go elsewhere.

Movie Factz: Ghostbusters was originally titled Polterheist.

They said you couldn't film Thomas Pynchon's novel Vineland but One Battle After Another proves beyond a shadow of a doubt they were right.

Is it really so strange that we won’t play The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Pop still has nightmares about toast.

Like most theaters, we rent our film prints. But we always keep a copy of Die Hard stashed for emergencies.

There’s always that one guy who thinks Toy Story is only so-so.

The movie theater community doesn't overlap much with the musician community but this kid told us we'd blow up on this app if we posted "arm rests imply the existence of arm sharps."

We got our hands on a copy of Roger Corman's unreleased Fantastic Four movie, but we won't be showing it because we have too much respect for Stan Lee (his estate threatened to sue us into tiny pieces).

September is Kiss a Moviegoer Month. We waited to announce this until Jorge was out of town to avoid any sexual harassment lawsuits.

In honor of Spinal Tap II, we've raised the price of M&M's to $11.

Our film festivals are more like orgies but with no sex and lots of popcorn.

We have never screened Showgirls, for obvious reasons (we lost the film reels 24 hours before showtime).

Okay, so technically there 𝙞𝙨 a convenience store down the road with cheaper snacks. But they’ll never love you like we do.

We’re not at war with our competitors so much as we are a threat to their safety.

At Clover Kiss Cinema, you can drop off your religious literature as long as you stay and watch the movie. It is not our fault those two sweet Mormon boys did NOT care for One Battle After Another.

Drop Dead Gorgeous is our favorite film about dropping dead while gorgeous.

Kids aren't welcome at Clover Kiss unless they're willing to work a shift at the concessions stand.

This Friday there will be a special screening of Pop's stag films we found in the basement. We reserve the right to deny entry if he thinks you look like a narc.

Not to brag, but our raccoon rolls the very best cigarettes. (We're pretty sure it's not animal abuse as long as he doesn't inhale).

Whoops! All Muppets.

Calling our Conjuring film fest “Conjury Duty.” Sorry not sorry.

If you don't silence your phone before the show begins, don't worry. We'll stop the movie and stare at you until you finish your call.

Remember we do not have a doctor on site. We do have a raccoon, but he dropped out of nursing school.

Clover Kiss shows American films. We also show films from other countries, but we try not to let the American films know about that.

We showed up to work today and Pop said witches had been by to tempt us with potions. Turns out the Red Bull™️ girls had been by to drop off the new Oreo®️ Cookie flavor.

Shocktober is almost upon us. What's your favorite scary movie? For us it's any Adam Sandler vehicle.

If your gimp is here just to be a footrest, their ticket is half price.

We played the Wuthering Heights trailer and there wasn’t a dry seat in the house.

Through the magic of AI, we have an alibi for our whereabouts while fire ravaged the rival cinema on the other side of town.

Aries is a fire sign, which is how you know everyone involved with Tron: Ares is getting fired.

Movie Factz: You know those scenes in Fargo where William H. Macy is wearing a hat? That isn't CGI!

Pop has been showing up for work and doing a good job. We may have a Face/Off situation on our hands.

We'll be showing movies next week, in case you're into movies.

You want a 3D movie? That's called real life.

We just found a case of Milk Duds. We're not sure if they're new or ten years old. You won't know the difference. Either way, sign the liability waiver and they're yours for a buck a box.