When oomfies posts a pic or video at the beach and I see myself in the background

I honestly think the invention of the podcast was the worst thing to happen to humanity since the plague

So like it’s not just HONEY THE LAND but it’s also HOW OLD DO YOU THINK THE LAND IS and ALL LAND IS ANCIENT

Have you ever been proud to be an American

Drinking my water room temp because it’s apparently better for you and also fuck ice

PERRAS AND PUTAS LETS BEACH THIS WEEKEND

Chyle anyway so stream Charli XCX

The concept of waking up in Florida and going to bed in Chicago is sooo…? Life is crazy

Back in Chicago

TSA touched up on the peen again

You don’t spend time in Florida You lose time in Florida

Brb sobbing

TSA always pulls me aside to touch up on my middle bits

Laptop closed until NEXT Friday

JADE TICKETS SECURED COME ON ANGEL OF MY DREAMS IT GIRL WERK DIVA

My parents were white and Swedish and their ancestors came to this country in time long gone by. When my mother was pregnant with me, she took a Tylenol and immediately became a Spanish speaking Latina and it spread to her husband and now their kids are all lahteenks. Tylenol is dangerous.

YALL I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ✨ LATINA ✨ IN MY LIFE!!!! AND I WAS BORN CIEN POR CIENTO LAHTEENKS

Okay yall told me the Kali Uchis show was gonna be good but my Colombian sister is turning I fear

Whenever people unironically say that Christians are the most persecuted religious group, I always wanna know like… how exactly? Because lgbtq+ people… exist?

So serious question actually like totally genuine. She forgives him and everyone cheers, does that mean they would want any punishment to be lenient or would they still want him to be hung, drawn, and quartered in front of a live studio audience?

Every time a tr*mp supporter blocks me on any social media platform I NUT

Well shit now JADE is coming to Chicago in February?

I was in the middle of writing an email like literally in the middle of a sentence and then I got distracted for about thirty minutes and totally forgot about the email

DoorDash driver stole my order but

TODAY IS THE DAY I AM READY REINA !!!

So… I woke up this morning. Was that to be expected orrrrr?

So like if the rapture is coming, I, as an f word, will be left behind, no? With all the other f words? Alone? Well shiiiiiiiiii

So like honestly it’s been ten years since cankles mctacotits first announced his run for president and I remember, back in 2015, how much of a joke we thought it was. Now, even ten years later, the words “President Tr*mp” are still grating to my ears.

So like… what time is the rapture tomorrow? CST please? I need to know if I should bother going to work

Next tattoo appt scheduled 🥰 😍 🙌

My turn @sentimentbot.bsky.social

Showing up to the job I once prayed for

So not to be all nihilistic or whatever but like sure, one day tr*mp will be gone. Re*gan has been gone for over twenty years. The effects of his two terms though will be felt… probably forever.

Antifa isn’t a group, there’s no Antifa headquarters or membership or signup sheet. Antifa simply means anti fascist. ANTIFAscist. If you are not Antifa, then you are pro fascism.

Yall he hasn’t even been president a year yet… like im already tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired

🥰

The last two days

Again I’m not a conspiracy theorist by any means but isn’t this whole… event… giving the Reichstag Fire? They just needed, and were ready for, something to happen so they could crack down on their political enemies. Like it all just seems very convenient for them, no?

When the lights go on in the dark room

Showing up to the function like

So I get that I joke a lot on here but I’m being very serious - How do you break your own arms and legs and THEN h*ng yourself from a tree? Doing all that all by yourself? How would that be possible?

I miss when the internet was just that “Sittin’ on the toilet” video, now I’m on here fighting with people who think the dinosaurs never existed and that H*tler was a girls girl

So maybe I’m going through some kind of existential crisis of sorts rn idk but like… is the United States of America really getting worse or has it actually always been this awful and gross from the moment those old, white men signed that little piece of paper?

The left are radical, dangerous domestic terrorists… but they’re also pussies

Queer and/or people of color selling out their own communities trying to get white cishet people to love them

How people who say things like “I don’t care what your political beliefs are” see themselves

Transexclusionary eff aye jeez Are the world’s biggest pick mes Hey that rhymed

C*nservatives who’ve been asking who killed Charlie K*rk finally learning who it was

I know that’s right

Me after one (1) drink