I don’t only eat at McDonald’s

Being a big brave boy in my jorts for probably the last time this year. It’s going to be 15°, my legs will be cold, but the outfit is fire.

Cardi’s got 7 versions of her new album on Apple Music 🤣

Every few months, I crack open the bags of wardrobe overflow, and it’s a total treasure hunt—I never fail to uncover a few forgotten pieces.

I’ve never had matcha coz I’m not spending £5 on a drink I don’t trust

*plays jaws theme*

Hunting for mole man

How your email finds me

Yeah? Yeah!

BERSHKA have got cheap Mayhem merch

I need this T-shirt

My 2 favourite women finally met

On repeat

Series 2 of Juice is excellent 10/10. It’s the best comedy of the year, hands down. I’m madly in love with Nabhaan Rizwan.

Ffs this new Zara/Disney collection is incredible

I wasn’t a fan of Wicked, but honestly, I’d rather watch it every single day than the Avatar Space Smurfs movie or any of its sequels!

Thursday twirl

I love salad

Oh ya?

This is lovely

Do I need these? No, but I do want them.

Escaping work a few minutes early definitely deserves a twirl

I shouldn’t buy this tomorrow because it’s expensive, but…

I’m stuck at work when I should be at home, watching the final episode of Alien: Earth and the start of season five of Slow Horses.

Tuesday twirl

Howdy

The Fricks and Grogu team up in the new Star Wars movie, TAKE MY MONEY!

🏜️

I forgot I took this at the weekend. My first iPhone 17 thirst trap!

155 days until my next holiday

Serving looks, and free fries (thanks Monopoly)

Listening to THE best album

This bts pic from Alien: Earth is so funny

On the night I go to see Gaga, my husband has booked to see a Duke Ellington Jazz concert. It’s just another example of how we have very little in common, yet we’ve managed to stay together for 20 years.

After just 24 hours of using my iPhone 17, I’m really impressed. I upgraded from a 15, so I’m still getting used to the new buttons, but the bigger, brighter, smoother screen is gorgeous. The selfie camera is a game-changer too.

I’ve just been to finger the iPhone Air and it was impossible to feel how light and thin it is because they’d stuck a heavy metal clamp on it

Maxine Peake was INCREDIBLE

Dads say hi

Been in Nottingham for half an hour and already had two beautiful men compliment my outfit. This never happens.

Morning

Going to Nottingham today to see a matinee

I love Takis, but no

Louis Vuitton have brought a tissue box out for when you’ve had a really posh wank

Is this the best year this decade for pop? The girls keep serving us FEASTS.

This cardi album goes so hard

I have always found RAYE a bit irritating, but these last two singles are both 10 out of 10

Me, waiting for my phone to arrive: also me, staring at clothes I shouldn’t even be looking at.

Two years of commitment, then a younger model comes along. Sorry, old iPhone, I’m shallow.

I’m obsessed with this poster

20 days till Gaga. 27 days till JADE. 30 days till Self Esteem. That run of shows is about to age me a whole decade!