i wrote a version of this the last two years at mashable but if you're a true sicko trying to watch every single nfl game, it'll run you *at minimum* ~ $800 mashable.com/article/nfl-...

i picked up a piece of litter on the street and mayor zohran mamdani suddenly materialized and shook my hand. 'now here's a real new yorker' he said smiling, blinding me instantly

i'm a dog owner in new york and this behavior infuriates me. it's entitled, annoying, and completely inconsiderate. i adore my dog, he comes with us everywhere he's allowed. your non-service dog does not belong in grocery stores and restaurants. period. there's food! it's gross!

on the down side, i dont see how we can come back from this on the plus side, im gonna get a little place. live off the fat of the land. and tend to the rabbits. look down there across the river. you can almost see it.

the fifa peace price winner?

ohhh you like the band GEESE, name three of their best honks then

STEVE NASH AND CHRIS PAUL, MUST SEE TV

i crashed bluesky by simply drafting a post — such is the power of my rhetoric

a great joy in life is seeing world class athletes struggle to do something athletic

hey sorry too busy 💪 creating 💪 shareholder 💪 value 💪 to perceive this wonder and reckon with the scale of my own trivialities and existence

writing a tv show called 'CONTENT' (could be read as CONtent or conTENT) aimed at Gen Zers who inexplicably romanticize 2010s NYC media life (i lived it, it was fine)

when someone calls it moynihan train hall

you know that guy at the bar who talks over everyone because they know what you're gonna say but they get it wrong every single time? that's the iphone's new autocorrect. brother, you are very wrong and very loud

i cant stop thinking about 'My Father Is A Lawyer University' immediately going with 'that should be a technical!!' over the celebration lmao

i am so happy that i have a started a new job and that clavicular murdering a gator is no longer relevant to my life. those words can mean nothing to me, now. i will let them wash away like so many waves.

the kids already brought back ‘stomp clap hey’ music and i regret to inform you it’s looking like twee is next

love walking around my brooklyn neighborhood and see relatively young people leaving their brownstone and guessing which ocean they drained to buy it

thinking about mateen cleaves

just used a hand soap that smelled *just* like that pink soap they used to have in schools whatever happened to that soap, it used to be everywhere

not that this place isn’t fine but i was looking thru my old twitter stuff to find something specific and, man, even for me, someone decidedly not good at schmoozing, it’s wild how much of my professional and personal life was built via twitter — and now it’s legit nothing to me

the thing about ‘party 4 u’ is that’s it’s the best electronic pop song since ‘dance yrself clean’ and we should look into the fact that maybe it’s because they’re obnoxiously spelled like that

my wife and i were helping family cancel service for a stolen phone today and AT&T’s ai bot mistakenly tried to send a reset signal to the thief who stole the phone. we had told it, via voice, we need to suspend service. sick world we live in.

these people believe in nothing but getting your’s and treating this as a brag instead of reconsidering your morals and actions is perfect. ‘you idiots with a moral compass made me money! haha!’ it’s making the argument against yourself. it’s reinforcing your beliefs are for sale.

the fellas are doing full-on ‘90s sitcom ploys instead of being funny and nice and it’s not working

the thing is all these tech bros do is whine and moan and complain but they claim to be stoics so they don’t have to evaluate their behavior

disgustingly cute and wonderful shit here and also has the audacity of being of hopeful, man that’s a good phrase i should trademark that, Audacity of Hope, nice

im a rube and not a cinephile and haven’t seen all the nominees but, personally, i enjoyed sinners and bugonia much more than one battle after another but also i know nothing so

read this vonnegut passage last night, quote tweet unrelated totally

very funny how apple was like 'who wants a super expensive headset to emerge yourself in email?' and everyone was like...no...and two years later they asked 'you want a laptop you can actually afford?' and everyone's hand shot up

so sick that google going full ai push means i can’t google the italy-mexico wbc score and get a simple result

my team is monitoring whatever hyrox is upon suspicion that it’s like crossfit but worse

kinda sad tbh

nobody in history felt more powerful than the manga kids in high school who got to tell you 'actually, you're supposed to read it right to left'

they already made the west wing

to wit

been reading an exceptional amount of vonnegut lately and i cannot stress enough how fitting/good/unsettling it is, considering The Times We Live In

dunnit

cannot prove it but they are astroturfing virality for that jfk jr show, i know it

best thing that happened to my sixers fandom was finally learning hinkey was a vc dweeb. better than a colangelo, not the worst, but a vc, silicon valley loving dweeb nonetheless. the second morey was pumping crypto scams i was out.

thinking about becoming a Doesn't Use Real Name Guy On Here

just ate an apple ama

every so often i think of the mumford and sons banjo player who redpilled himself out of the highest-paying banjo job that isn't 'being steve martin'

fired up the new mitski album and greeted by the yearning plucking of a lonely banjo and 'in a lake you can backstroke forever' hahahah oh ok im gonna be in a Bad Place in a Good Way, huh

new bill callahan album tremendous and weird, love it

i'm v late to it but man, wild pink's 'dulling the horns' is my favorite relatively recent rock album

often i think of our tour guide in champagne — a lovely parisian dj/sommelier named romain — i showed him a photo of “blueberry sparkling wine” the previous americans — wisconsinites — swore by. resplendent electric blue. it was as if i shot romain’s mother. “nononono, this cannot be, NO, nononono.”

the thing about 'brat' is it had *all*** that hype that it was eye-roll inducing, the ~~brat summer~~ of it all, you know, but two years later, it actually just really is **that** good of an album. one of one.

there is a v nice woman who works at local warehouse who pets my dog and gives him treats on our daily walk. my dog's obsessed with her. today she had *her* dog at work and they met and both got treats and pets and living in a walkable neighborhood kicks ass and that'll be the best part of my day.

zohran mamdani just walked into my apartment and handed me 10 wings, wild sauce, extra wet, “just how you like em” he said and i said “how did you know” and he said **bigass smile** and then he paid my rent and left but then came back and handed me a dogfish head 60 minute with a wink and pet my dog