So, Farage, you said men can't even wear watches in London? This guy wore a Cartier for 12 nights in North West London and never got any hassle www.esquire.com/uk/watches/a...

Who's going to don Martin Bell's white suit in Clacton?

Just popping down the shops. Watch off, obviously.

My first day as a 50 something. Perhaps celebrating by going to see Tracy Emin's astonishing and harrowing exhibition at the Tate was not the best move. Mortality bites.

Are Wimbledon crowds booing the near constant hydration breaks?

Went to see Archduke last night at the Royal Court. It's a tonally odd affair, but the sets and acting are sublime - and when it lands its punches at the end, I can forgive its wayward beginnings. Recommended.

Last night, I went to the Opera. Tonight I'm off to the Royal Court, even though it's hot and the football is on. I want a little sticker like I used to get from the dentist, saying what a cultured boy I have been.

A long time since I've had an early airport beer, but am celebrating my imminent 50th with the enigma that is @g-evers.bsky.social by heading for a Beatles and beer couple of days in Hamburg.

I'm off to Hamburg tomorrow. Is there anything art or literature related I should see/do? Or any general recommendations? I am mainly going to be pretending I'm in Backbeat, but other options are welcome

It's often said that Donald Trump is a baby or a toddler or something. Well, it's paid off now: the Iran deal is basically a geopolitical rehash of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler's seminal A Squash and a Squeeze. m.media-amazon.com/images/I/519...

I am heading off into the wilderness to finish the new novel. By which I mean I am going to West Sussex, with a pub nearby, Sainsbury deliveries and two off licences in walking distance.

This is a truly exceptional novel: transporting, singular, deeply insightful, and compellingly strange. It's going to be much talked about, so get on it.

If you are not terrified by this you are better than me.

If you are not terrified by this you are better than me.

It's stock day. But I've been out so it's now stock evening.

In my local mall there are several billboards, all of which play the same clip of Joan Collins answering the question: "Do you have a favourite dish?" with "If we're not going out, I like some good old fashioned beans on toast." It is on a never ending loop, and I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm thinking that if I'm ever asked on Desert Island Discs I might select the theme music for the Arena strand of documentaries. It never fails to make me happy. youtu.be/-GuzqPEcx5Q?...

I bought THE DOOR from a charity shop years ago but didn't read until last week. It is an absolute masterpiece, including the best dog in fiction, and in Emerence, a truly indelible character. Vintage has just reissued it so get a copy now. You will not regret it. uk.bookshop.org/a/681/978152...

Loving pimp Aladdin hosting #eurovision

Journos: if you ever write "Rebel MP [insert name] has called for the resignation of Starmer," please know that a significant proportion of the population sings this to themselves. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oybs...

There is a pub in Walthamstow that has a firm no kids policy. They are VERY upfront about it and have signs and stickers everywhere to let you know that kids are not welcome. Which I applaud. However, this latest sign feels like they might've gone a bit OTT...

When this all ends the way it does, with Reform in power and the country on its knees, I will blame the BBC. I absolutely loved the institution, but I will never, ever forgive it for normalizing, platforming and not holding to account Farage and his ilk.

Just found a brilliant new word game called Tessera. It's tactical and a bit like Connect 4. You can play for free here www.tesserapuzzle.com. I did today's in 12.

I cannot wait to read this.

There is a lot of talk about smoking on here at the moment. Just a reminder that I wrote the book on this 15 years ago.https://uk.bookshop.org/a/681/9781447200635

Just had an email from Ottessa Moshfegh saying how much she likes my stories! In Italian no less! That's devotion for you. I'm going to give her some money to help her promote my book, as she is now my biggest fan. Can't wait for all those TikTok sales to come rolling in!

Thinking of the classic t-shirt reborn for the 21st Century: I like the woke pope, the woke pope's woke.

I'm sure Georges would have been delighted about these Banana chocolate pretzels named in his honour.

I'm staying in a hotel. Was genuinely shocked to find GB News on in the bar. They changed it when I asked, but still...

Dear @bcdreyer.social My wife and I recently spent an entire underground journey discussing the last line of this advertisement. We could not find a legitimate reason for the use of a semi-colon and we wondered if there is any grammatical justification you can think of for its use.

If I had a billionaire's money, I would put on a one-man show. It would star a well-respected actor playing a much-loved children's character in an East Coast venue. I would introduce the show by saying: "And now, live from Buffalo, Mark Ruffalo IS The Gruffalo." And my life would be complete.

I wonder when the word Prat fell out of favour with the British public. Like Flock of Seagulls, it seems locked to the 80s. Did it have a life into the 90s?

Tonight I finished writing my first short story in about three years. It has the perfect title, but it is the same as a 1980s Delillo novel. Does that matter?

The interview with David Lammy on Today is one of the most potentially dangerous things I've ever heard. It's obvious that Lammy is uncomfortable with the Iran situation, but the interviewer keeps pressing in the hope he will say something that Trump will be upset by. Utterly irresponsible

Occasionally you see an actor on stage and they just utterly have you, no matter the quality of the play. Eli Gelb is one of those actors. His performance in Broken Glass (at the Young Vic) is breathtaking, as it was in Stereophonic. Whatever he is in, I will watch.

Thanks to @ottoenglish.bsky.social for posting this video of Winston Churchill getting booed in E17. There is something reminding me of Stewart Lee at the end. I can imagine SL reacting in the same way: by playing two sections of the audience against each other. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJni...

Was at the Hospital and saw this. Made me laugh and my son asked why. Ended up having to explain The Magic Mountain to him. He failed to see the humour.

This kind of thing always makes me laugh. What, the actors who played roles 40 years ago don't look the same now as they did then?

My eldest son has just read his first Toni Morrison (the story Recitaf). He loved it, and was full of questions about it afterwards. Teachers, have you taught this story? If not, I think it's a brilliant introduction to one of the greatest ever writers.

I once received a review in a national newspaper of record that said my work was "staggeringly bleak". This new story might top that.

There are some really interesting books coming this year. This is one of those I am most excited about. I've loved Keith Ridgway's work since I read The Parts in 2003. If you haven't read him, I think you should.

This is such a seismic story I'm almost surprised I haven't got a book publishing today.

I'm on a bus. Almost everyone has their phones on loud, people watching videos, the racing, having video calls. It's like being in Vegas but without the drinks and faded glamour.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since watching on Saturday night. A sort-of documentary on Don DeLillo, featuring him talking but not being interviewed, it is utterly hypnotizing. But the key thing for me was that this was broadcast on BBC1. BBC1! www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_dH...

This is one of the most impressive debuts I've read in years. The prose is quiet, yet rich; moving yet beautiful. Rebecca Perry is a exhilarating talent and May We Feed the King a novel of rare power.

This might be a controversial opinion, but after sitting through the full 2 hours 39 minutes of Brad Pitt's FI, I'm fairly confident it isn't going to win the Best Picture Oscar. Even if I hadn't seen many films from 2025 - or had never before seen a film - I'd be similarly confident.

I saw Blue Moon last night. Brilliant performances, especially from Ethan Hawke, and downbeat moving. Like a night at the theatre, but on my own sofa.

I'm off to see Lost Highway for the first time. It's significant, because 97 was when I lost most of my passion for cinema and going to the cinema. One day I was working at the 051 in Liverpool, the next, I wasn't bothered to see one of my idols' new film. By then, I think, I was lost to books.