*looking at 9:59 on the clock* if only it were 10 minutes later, then it would be 9:69 and that would be funny

new profile banner, new me

figured i'd practise drawing some hands, how'd i do?

mmmg covfefe

fuck yeah i've been added to the based list

crazy to think that on this day 2026 years ago, jesus was born such an influence. inventor of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. created carpentry, without which we wouldn't have luxuries like ikea hope you remembered to leave eggs out for the easter bunny and got the presents you wanted

the problem i've found with leaving things for future me to fix is that future me is a dick and never wants to help past me out

what should be my next hobby that i research for 6 months, do for a week, and then never touch again

someone please save me from this nightmare

once again suffering having to get up an hour earlier for work because of daylight savings why is 9-5 work such a rigid part of society that the only way morning people get to work when they want is by fundamentally breaking the system clocks are built on and making everyone else miserable

serious SAM (surface-to-air missile)

found some old music i wrote, can't believe i used to be so casual about using slurs like this

damn this game was good, can't wait for episode 3 next year

"fnaf fan" is short for five nights at freddy's five at nights

the only thing i know for real there will be

why do they call it "cheese grater" when you of on the greater cheese of out come lesser cheese

can someone teach me what it's like to have a life-long marriage to a woman who loves me? i'm a kinaesthetic learner btw

"one piece" - half life "alyx" vance, 2004

walter hazard

driving boring ahh heck

damn girl are you from tennessee? because you're the only miss whose piss i'd sippi

i am in terloper

opening a bakery that sells multiplying french bread baguette begets baguettes

help one blind person and everyone thinks you're wonderful help to blind people and everyone says you're a monster we live in a society

garth marenghi. author, dreamweaver, visionary, plus ultra

i think this pc's power LED might be a bit bright

why is it called microsoft windows when it's way too big, hard to put up with, and about to break the glass when i defenestrate it

forbidden candy corn dispenser

truly a mystery why my ps2 can't read this game

once again seeing americans in the snoc community debate whether hydrocity is pronounced "hydro-city" or "hy-draw-city" very funny to read that as a british because "draw" is not even close to the sound they're trying to convey "hyd-roar-city"

to legume makes a leg out of u and me

"oh no, i dropped my ps2's power connector behind my shelving unit and i can't possibly reach it" the humble hard drive magnet and steel rod i've had for 5 years for some fuckass reason:

saul g-man

"i'm becoming this, all i want to do, is be more like me and be lez like you" - linkin park meeting a lesbian and immediately realising that she is actually a transbian

imagine being a millipede with a foot fetish

"why am i getting so fat lately" i ponder as i consume a mcdoland breakfast comprised of two hash browns and a double sausage and egg mcmuffin with extra sausage egg cheese and bacon

playing with my man yo-yo because i ain't no kid no more

crazy how, over 29 years ago, someone looked at a cow and decided to steal its titty juice then at least a few days later, someone else decided to make it cold and they were brilliant because now we have ice cream

felt like being the artistic genius i am and drew an eepy cat

the two hardest things to make an HP printer do: 1. print 2. stop fucking printing

werewolves? i dunno i can't find them either

everyone always asks what's updog but no one ever asks how's updog

garlic bred? yeah i hope it did, i want more

promisciutto

yuo'r either a sussy baka or a bussy saka

it's just properly hit me how much of a fucking downgrade windows 11's task manager really is obviously it was already slower and harder to use than the old one but you also can't press alt > o > a to blindly turn it to always-on-top, because that's now in a separate settings menu

katsu chicken? what did chicken do to kat that needed legal action?

becoming a global dictator and demanding that my meals are cooked in an environment of pure atomic element 30 i have everything, and the kitchen's zinc

ngl, this is totally me when i'm not gonna lie about this totally being me