Hate smell of wet wipes but… must… clean… hole…

I hate that I’ve been dicked enough to know that my ideal voice is actually something I’m perfectly capable of performing but it only comes out when someone is FUCKING INSIDE OF ME

I could never kill myself bc I’d spend too much time revising and editing the suicide note and lose the strength to do it

People posting childhood photos of themselves versus now when they’re adults and they’re like hot or whatever isn’t even enough to impress me anymore they have to like transition or something

“To be tubular” as opposed “to to be honest”

a true knight fights for everyone ⚔️🏳️‍⚧️ (chivalry is gay!! happy pride!!)

One of the most American things on earth is two conflicting speed limit signs within 100 feet of each other

I think if I was a kid during Covid my mom would’ve kept me above the pre-covid education expectations bc she’s just lit like that

The people on this highway have unanimously decided to go 10 over the speed limit, and you know what? America is a democracy; the majority have decided. Who are the police to impede democracy?

My cat loves me and that’s really all that matters

I love it when a friend of mine says or does something that they know I find triggering and then flounders to let me know they didn’t mean to

Sofía Vergara hmu I need advice

I’m against the quantity of universes beyond sets in Magic the Gathering. HOWEVER, I’m not sure I could ever be upset about a Game of Thrones set…

Somebody said “whatever you gotta do so you don’t kill yourself” and honestly that’s been the only thing keeping me goin

Episode one of House of the Dragon season three has to be one of the best episodes in the whole show

Owning a lot of books is great. Packing and moving with a lot of books is not great.

Completely and totally unserious first born son Painfully serious possibly autistic second born son A more common dynamic than you might think

Society that has lived without the moon for thousands of years when the moon suddenly reappears one night: “a giant bright balloon appeared in the sky last night”

The World Cup? What about the menstrual cup? Sexism.

Twitter community notes will be adding shit a week later like I give a fuck

Jimmypoopins??

You read an x reader about a character and you can’t look them in the eyes when you rewatch the show

And the nutrition facts on this thing will knock you on your ass!

“Have you seen this man?” Yeah dude, he’s all over all of these wanted posters…

I like the song Be Like a Woman by Chris rainbow because I just think of a Jerma edit every time I hear it

The best part about the bird dance thing trending is that I get to listen to Chicago by Michael Jackson a lot

Pat Fusty

Imagine having such a pleasing forehead and hair that bangs aren’t even necessary

Are you waiting for 3 degrees C of global warming and two trillionaires to start building socialism

Can’t even make macaroni without thinking of him wtaf man

Oh, to just be sexy and not worry about shit else

The homophobic preachers outside of conventions do know that it’s actually bad optics to give queer people an opportunity to mog the shit out of them while they’re holding their homophobic signs right?

I am in a fem4fem lesbian relationship and somehow I feel more seen by Hikari and Kirara from JJK than any other media relationship

Born to be drunk, forced to be sober

It’s pee girl!

Thinking of posting pics of myself on Bluesky but NOT for the purpose of soft promoting an only fans. I just want validation or something idfk.

Watching the twilight fandom grow over the years has been beautiful because of the sheer amount of shipping options that have appeared purely from taboo’s fading. AlicexJacob??? HELLOOO???

I think we need a Kat Blaque out of context video

It’s not spoken about enough how bad it is that things like Nazi imagery are blacklisted or shadow banned on social media. How exactly are people supposed to learn from these things if we’re not allowed to hear about them?

Bonobro

Kay Poyer said bitches named Sarah are chopped so I gotta pack it tf up

I am God‘s strongest skinnyfat bitch

"He smelled the way the Taj Mahal looks by moonlight"

Recently instead of reacting when someone’s says 67, I’ve just been making a quiet gasping sound akin to the sound I make when it goes inside of me

I can’t get over the fact that they took this fuck ass looking comic book character and casted one of the sexiest actors alive to play him

No more vorpals for me

Some of you will be eaten