ASMRtists! I cannot smell the video. Scent triggers are very much not happening. And that's good! Imagine if anyone on the internet could make you smell something. You know someone'd be pushing the arse end of a dead badger to the smelloscope.

I'm not scared of heights. I can look up at them all day just fine. What I have a problem with is DEPTHS. I can't fall upwards, y'know?

Contrary to Avenue Q, the internet's a shithole. Look, it's got techbros all over it. Bleagh!

"And the horse I rode in on? Buddy, leave the horse alone, it's just doing its job" Yeah and the cops are just doing theirs. AHAB.

Laser tag? Nah, we couldn't afford the special vests. We're playing taser tag! *ZZZT*

"What's dark fantasy?" "It's when elves stumble around in the dark 'cause the light's blown"

The sea isn't shark infested. That's their home. Your home isn't human infested. Quit bothering sharks and acting like they're the problem.

Bad invention idea: The rie cooker. Cooks one rie at a time. (Hint: The singular of "dice" is "die".)

"Our house, in the middle of the street" always struck me as a little odd. Most houses are to the side of the street.

I kinda like the idea of a superhero setting where certain people generally aren't targeted by the opposing side because they specialise in stopping world enders, and nobody gets to play if the world is gone

Shoutout to whoever keeps adding the villain protagonist tag to police games on steam

dear fellow freaky feral monster lovers 👺👹💀 I highly suggest reading the webtoon “dark castle” by faun_me #monsterlovers #feral #teratophilia #webtoon

mirror view of my soft fairy look ✨✨✨ #fairy #fae #boostsky #bluesky #fantasy #cosplay #mirror #soft #highfantasy

@sweetbee.vip Serpent in the garden of eden after the ejection be like:

when Apple wins, everyone loses.

Only even looking in case I can get something to paste that fucking rabbit

...why is an american company trying to sell me boomerangs? Why do they appear multiple times in search results that're supposed to be for australian sites? gtfo

Canadian farmers are harvesting record spring wheat and canola crops, driven largely by widespread no-till and zero-till farming that locks in soil moisture and cuts erosion. Longer term, yields are up 77% for wheat and nearly double for canola since the mid-1990s. As the world’s largest canola […]

jesus fucken christ with a reacharound, those right wing fucknubbins who speak like they're trying to show off how clever they are for memorising a dictionary or something skeeve me the fuck out

Hey, I'm gonna get a bit politically incorrect in this post, but... *misfiles diplomatic paperwork*

*un-waterproofs your skin*

One of the (many) problems with AI search results and summaries is that, unlike an actual person talking to you, you don't have the option to interrupt to tell it to shut the fuck up.

Holy shit this is my dream

YTer: OH MAN, LOOK AT THIS GUY'S SHITTY DRIVING IN THE SNOWWWW You are on your phone. Driving. In the snow.

someone with a castle hit me up so I can use it to take sexy sword maiden and fairy pictures pls pls pls pls pls +==[:::::::::::::::::::::>

[Auspol] Look, it's great to see the Coalition eat shit, it really is, but One Nation? That's who people are going with? The racket led by someone who doesn't actually give a shit about the target, but knows she can whip people into a frenzy with "foreigners bad"?

My dad got fucked over by byte rounding on hard drives. Got two TB drives supposedly of the same capacity, tried to backup one to the other, but couldn't 'cause he found there's over a hundred GB difference.

Typical one tailed kitsune in heat activities 𓃢 #fantasy #Kitsunehybrid #tease #tail #woof #awoo #corset #goth #gothnsfw #fantasycosplay #uwu

I step outside, the number 65535 pops up from me in white pixellated text, and I fade away.

HEad's feeling a bit fucky, so I drink my drink faster as if that's gonna make the meds kick in any sooner

we all need a little less raging against the dying of the light and a little more coordinated tactical assault on the darkness factory

RE: https://mastodon.art/@GoblinHellion/115954344692284420 Hey if you're looking to get a tattoo up around the uHHH Canada region, check Hanan out.

@epicanis Hey, I read your full profile after seeing the footnote numbers, and I like it. Good writing. I'm gonna go check out your books linked there, unless....! Do you use AI generation for covers, other images, or other stuff?

wh-?! You can't lose social permission because you NEVER HAD IT. Why would you think you had any kind of "social permission" to rip so many people off while draining resources and poisoning the fucking sky to do it?

Sometimes all I really want is to be held and stroked and called a good boy. Not right now. Now, I want to cause Problems. But sometimes.

@DarkestKale I do not wish to be called a good boy, girl, whatever I am by microsoft teams any more than Sisyphus wishes to be praised by the rock

I just destroyed the productivity of my workplace by using the Praise function of Teams when no one had seen it before

Dealing with some messy stuff in the kitchen, needed to transfer it from a sieve to a bowl, so I put the bowl in the sink, lowered the sieve down, tipped the stuff into the bowl, and as it splats, it shoots a gobbet of mess up on an arc to land neatly on my shirt. Super.

@thrilledsalmon.bsky.social Hey, what's the name of that death game anime you were talking about recently? Is it good?

"I need that like I need a hole in the head" You need holes in your head or you will die. Mouth. Nostrils. Ear holes. Eye holes. Probably other holes I'm not thinking of.

@thrilledsalmon.bsky.social What you said a bit back about people making strong OCs who then go for the softer characters made me think of what I'd be like, and realised my OC'd mostly be me, but I've grabbed a can (usually of rice pudding) from somewhere, and a tendency to try and throw it at […]

My week long reddit ban has expired, so now I'm tempted to speed run it again.

Okay I have to say it out loud. Those games/series/whatever that're about animals but in a more human form like Uma Musume... WHERE DO THEY SHIT? You know what horses are like. The animal-based characters are treated as being distinct from regular humans. In some series there's also a […]

"Our house, in the middle of the street" always struck me as a little odd. Most houses are to the side of the street.

@thrilledsalmon.bsky.social Who would you kick off the ship, if you had to pick one?

in desperate need of unique gameplay mechanics and storylines that don’t center around killing/violence, and game developers think I want digital chores (!)

Just had one of those "oh fuck, that part of my past was worse than I thought" moments. Neat!

Bad invention idea: The rie cooker. Cooks one rie at a time. (Hint: The singular of "dice" is "die".)

Bad invention idea: The automatic shoe polisher. Insert the shoe into the slot to be polished. The polisher automatically releases the shoe when no further polishing is required. Note: In order for the sensor to accurately detect the shoe, the surface of the shoe must be clean, smooth, and shiny.

@thrilledsalmon.bsky.social *sneaks into your home and replaces a normal light bulb with a red one*