a nice girl just told me my eyes look like i'm a kid lost in a department store 😖😖😖

getting a dm on grindr from a guy named "RACEPLAY TERMINATOR"

made it through tsa without getting groped . growers stay winning

studying the anatomy and physiology has me saying shit like "come, let's get sun burned" and "some lovers try positions that they can't handle"

los angeles this weekend :)

the women of bluesky ask me a lot if there's a mommy langley. well , of course there is. you're her. and you're still as perfect as the day we met

things have gotten worse since we last spoke

a girl's toes are just another kind of pacifier if you think about it

in the future they'll issue pacifiers to the troops like canteens

*takes a drag off a candy cigarette* i never thought i would make it to this many

the political situation really calls for snuggies with mommy

older woman looking for younger woman to call mommy. references available upon request

i'm gonna be real with you mommy, puppy's at the end of her rope

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL DREAMS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO KlLL YOURSELF!

it's be a depressed loser because you're lonely as a consequences of your own actions wednesday my dudes

call me a member of the engineering crew on the K-19 the way I be having diarrhea

crazy there's an episode of star trek with an alien society run by dominant misandrist women who make all of their men wear slutty little outfits

explaining stop-loss to a bunch of zoomers and they're just looking at me like I'm crazy

crazy that there's an episode of star trek with aliens that never walk, only run, and have casual sex upon first meeting

slept for twelve hours filled with nothing but horrible dreams about alienation from people who used to care. who wont me

I need to need a girl more than I need to breathe and I'm quite fond of breathing

it's illegal to say "l'm going to kiII the president of the united states" but it's totally to tell the president of the united states to kiII themselves

pawhaps I'll go to Seattle this weekend. anyone interested?

i'll never be a 2D girl that's drawn suspiciously young looking. why live

I need to call a younger woman mommy more than I need a hole in my head

i'm inventing things most people can't even imagine

fuck me up fam sorrynotsoryu.straw.page

its time for depressed girl who doesn't deserve anything better dinner (first meal of the day, 1600kcal of pasta with ketchup because I really don't deserve anything better)

being born in 1990 is the worst thing that ever happened to me

does anyone want to love me so I can stop bashing my head against the brick wall that is an evil dark haired woman with tired eyes and problematic kinks who will never love me back?

wing commander caught you sleeping through her briefing and she is PISSED

going for blood in the family groupchat

ijustwannabeherdogsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobad

looking for a girl to worship. must be local. cv and references available on request

i promise i can be normal it's just that when it's late at night and i can't sleep i imagine lying curled up on your bedroom floor drifting off to sleep to the sound of your breath

do any evil women (complimentary) wanna go on a first date? I'm willing to go to a second location for the right girl

I'm contemplating a long weekend in LA at the end of the month... could be fun to see the sun again

>looking for a new hechman >ask the evil HR woman if their henchman is dastardly or conniving >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is dastardly and what is conniving >she laughs and says "it's an evil henchman sir" >hire henchman >he's conniving

now THAT'S what I'm talking about

the illegitimate coup in me recognizes the illegitimate coup in you

begun the clone wars have

99% of toxic misanthropes give up right before circumstances change and they are proved right

anyone want to get up to absolutely debautched behaviour that we may later come to regret ?

the worst guy you know has a secure attachment style

I need a pretty girl to dress me up and pose me for thirst traps like I'm a figma more than I need to breathe

border gestapo asked if I was bringing in any "bc bud or fent" and was not pleased when I asked why I'd ever buy that outside of Portland

the worst part of aging as a lesbian trans woman is that nobody wants an easily abusable older woman. you're stuck playing the predatory lesbian and crying to yourself in your darker moments about how you never got a chance to be the prey

are you a cute girl in the pacific northwest of the united states? are you at switch or a domme? do you want to inappropriately touch a girl who's been described as "really serving kim possible"? applications are open