I was a victim of manspreading at the lyric theatre tonight.

We need to stop using “highly functional” as a modifier with our disorders. It’s too much pressure on those of us who are just shooting for “moderately functional”.

we got don cheadle dreams on a terrence howard budget

Months of the year: October October October October October October October October October October October October

Will this be the year I send out Christmas cards? (No.)

A broken tooth on Thanksgiving had to be what got Hitler started.

Gorped up in Jerusalem.

Just know that if I say something mean about drinking its because im jealous but also drinking is gay (derogatory)

Man fuck a biker band

local failed mma fighter wannabe influencer advocates for more police brutality

Everything is made of worms

Scrimps on a tree

It takes a man to dont when can

I want a bass mentor so bad :(

Me gungy

Fender Colonelcaster

I just want us to be the Mariah Carey of pumpkins.

Is a cuck lamp above the chair or the bed

Boy I sure am disappointed about everything.

I wanna host a battle of the bands but we all play magic: the gathering.

Sauce me, mommy

She be working so hard

For my birthday I wear a size 1970s Acoustic Control Corp 370/371 with 18" folded horn.

Dog urethra

You're in her DMs; shes bare assed farting on my leg while im trying to sleep

Cowboy time

So gooped

Out of my mood stabilizer until next week. If im mean to you I meant it but I never would have said that without my meds. 🧟‍♂️

"I dont watch football or anything that promotes violence or fighting" - man thats buying a gun in front of me

People will be like "I dont do pronouns cause trans people are dumb" but will call me Pants. Kys.

Getting gooped up to make everything a little scary

why worry about the opinions your extended family have of you when they’re busy sharing AI generated memorial images of a rightwing extremist grifter playing basketball with jesus in heaven

Its a hell yeah kinda day!

I'll piss to that!

My body is a machine that turns doinks into smoked doinks

Firing up the boofatron to go see shordy. (my sleep apnea doctor)

Gonna twin turbo the yarther morgan for maximum gunk inhalation

Everyone's Christmas present this year is going to be a UTI

3 woods deep and communicating via block chain ledger

What a nice 9 hour tolerance break (sleep)

Going to donate plasma at goodwill

Shordy blinkin the Cartin Luther King Jr cause I asked if she glooped

Schlurping the Kim Bong Un until I reach maximum gloop status

The yart got me non verbal so im communicating via gloop link

taking names and handing out

Capones smells like axe body spray

Autistic bussy dif

Our arch nemesis band is playing an awesome show with an awesome band and they likely dont even remember we exist. This is going to be my villain arc.

Them witchy boys are at it again.

Line 6. Insane. Crane.