Gout with a plastic baby inside

The words “Big Eatsy” cause me physical pain

Brighter than Louisiana’s adult governor

66. SIXTY FRIGGIN’ SIX.

Gonna start Whiskey Saturdays With Maury Povich

This article is completely unclear as to whether the shootings were AT or were NEAR the restaurant.

Sexual desert > Food desert

He countered with Lil Jon! I replied with LOCASH’s No Scrubs, hoping dudes singing about other dudes would piss him off.

Having a pint and some jamoke commandeered the juke to play Auto-Tune slop and Kid Rock. I ponied up to counter with Rebirth, the Dirty Dozen, and Li’l Liza Jane.

All for the new mayor and new CAO cutting costs at the Mardi Gras celebration, but asking DJs to work for free ain’t it. They’re not asking servers, construction folks, etc. to donate their labor. In a city built on music, it’s a stone wrong move.

Happy Whiskey Friday with Tony Doukoupil

Hilarious. Try that in New Orleans where regular degular restaurants often host drag shows. Imagine classifying Tujague’s in the same category as Mr. Stroker’s Weenie World.

This is not what spatchcock means, in any way, shape or form. Dreher is such a weird guy

I have it on good authority that Cantrell didn’t leave the actual keys to the office, and Moreno’s people had to hire a locksmith. Not kidding and wondering if it will be reported.

Nor should it.

Woke dog sledding

Can confirm Krewe of Chad is out early.

I know the If Obama game is meaningless at this point, but this would be on a Fox 24/7 loop had he done it

According to #nola Reddit there’s the first #kreweofchad sighting on Orleans Avenue and a ladder was spotted on St. Charles #mardigras

Reminiscent of …

CBS is trying the News With a Twist approach, it seems

Then a different woman who was leaving got in my face and said “I’m gonna boop you!” She booped my nose like I was a cat and walked out. GOOD NIGHT NURSE

What a weird day. A woman just approached and said, “I was sitting here.” “No, you weren’t. I’ve been here a while.” “Can I sit with you?” “No.” “No?” “No.”

Saw a jamoke walk into this restaurant dressed like a slob and just knew he would play TikTok videos with the sound up. Sometimes you can just tell. What I didn’t expect was that he’d order wings and eat them with his mouth open, getting food all over his beard.

So the guy who pays $20 an hour is losing business to the guy who pays $6.50 an hour suuuuuuure

My 🐈‍⬛ Robert has been dead almost two years and I still get preapproved credit card offers for him regularly. Today was a new one: he got an actual credit card with a $5,000 limit in the mail. #creditcat

Joan Collins and Drew Brees might both find those shoulder pads a bit much

Ever consider that Cool Cool Kitty may not WANT to talk about The Boy From New York City

Of note: their goal in the New Orleans metro was to arrest 5,000. By their own numbers, they managed 370.

Rewatching Nurse Jackie and confirming that between NJ and The Sopranos, Edie Falco may be the best ever to do it on TV

In case you want to see the propaganda machine cranking up

“You put your right arm in, you take your right arm out… “

“She SASSMOUTHED an AUTHORITAH FIGURE” — Lindsey Graham, probably

For those who don’t know: in New Orleans high school marching bands practice after school on neighborhood streets and it’s a delight.

M*therfuckers

I knew somebody would get the vapors over the language rather than the murder.

From a British friend now living in the US Midwest: “I am daily reconfiguring my options. This is hell.”

This level of enthusiastic suck job is usually associated with a glory hole.

I interviewed this cat during the brief interregnum when he was trying to reinvent himself as an actor. Two brief soaps and an action movie before he rode Dad’s coattails in the GOP.

It’s reopening, thank goodness

Is YOUR brolly a flimsy flapper? You may be entitled to compensation

Happy Twelfth Night Eve!

I forgot I was wearing a cap (not a baseball cap) at Arnaud’s once and the server tried not to grimace as he said, “May I hang that on the wall for you, sir”

Unlike the new guy, Dickerson doesn’t play soccer with David Beckham, he just reports the news in an intelligent, understandable fashion

Spay and neuter your Kevins

Way to Bari the lede, @cbsnews.com

From the Archbishop. I don’t think anyone harmed by his pervo pedo priests blames themself. This is gaslighting.

Almost 10 years later and she still has a job

Jingle fuckin bells Jingle fuckin bells Jingle all the fuckin way

There is a local personal injury attorney named Sweet James. I finally saw him. Dude looks like a white Jewish yuppie with a tight facelift. Maybe it’s just the New Orleans in me but I assumed he’d look like Steve Harvey in a suit the color of a Crown Royal bag.