Donating all the ugly ‘80s furniture as I can. I found these two mid-century beauties of end tables at flea markets today. Classic, simple, masculine. And $25 apiece.

Either an abysmal reporter and editor or AI.

Just say you don’t care about or respect Black people and cut to the chase.

Sorry, Bob Marley, but despite your express wishes I don’t enjoy jammin’ too

Advisor vs. adviser.

My mother’s last gift to me was a thick fireproof package of documents, phone numbers, and the steps I needed to take in order after her death. My last gift to her will be doing the same for my executor/trustee. Just picked up 5 copies of the death certificate as instructed and am having a beer.

Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey was at the thing last night. I’m not outraged. I know the good people of Minnesota have this handled.

Just occurred to me that all those “traumatized” peacock journalists just underwent the reality that we have to train our American eight-year-olds for in every school in this country. My sympathy goes out to them. Not the journalists. The kids.

Wolf Blitzer and Stephen A. Smith, of course. But Margaret Brennan and Jamie Kirchick? They should know better. You should never trust a single person who was there ever again. I certainly won’t.

As a guy who used to hire reporters I’ll tell you I would immediately bin the application of any “journalist” who attended this fiasco. You with me, @dcbigjohn.bsky.social ?

Another photo I found tucked away that I’d forgotten about. I asked her about it because I thought she might have been a print model and never told me. “Nah. I was just dating this guy and he wanted to check out his new camera”

When my mom watched Mad Men, she said “I am Joan.” She started in the “steno pool,” no doubt getting her ass pinched and ordered around by men who were dumber than her. Reader, she ended up vice president of a real estate company. Retired at 83 by choice. They asked her not to.

May I share a couple of photos with you? The first was Mom at 21. No makeup. When she got dolled up she was a dead ringer for Ava Gardner in her prime. The second is her just a few weeks ago hitting the streets to protest a man she loathed. Never had plastic surgery. She looked like this at 91.

Mortuary dude: “You have space for 18 characters on the headstone. Think about if there’s anything spiritual you would want for Mom — “ Me: “Can I put I NEED A GLASS OF WINE?” He tried not to laugh and failed.

My mother has died. I am in shock and I need to go to sleep

Sunday morning my mother was in great health. Sunday afternoon she had a violent aneurysm. Today, after tests, I refused further work and ordered palliative care. She is in hospice. Her wishes were not to suffer with mental impairment or in a hospital bed. I am awaiting the call.

Unless you’re a deer

You don’t need to see my vision board. Just a large black coffee and we’ll never think of each other again.

And a punch out by a homophobic C-list actor

The problem with DC media in one tweet or skeet or whatever this is

Aarón once asked a friend of mine for her number. She gave it to him. He called her later, mistaking her for a hollaback girl who would be flattered to get a booty call from a celebrity chef He was quickly disabused of that notion.

Is this paid? If not, why would you include the Realtor contact information?

Seems like a pretty solid gig for a good freelancer

“Eat more vegetables” is now “eat in a more vegetable-forward manner”

I hate this slop.

Reminiscent of Lily Tomlin’s hilarious housewife/endorser: “Hello. I’m Judith Beasley. I’m not an actress, but a real person such as yourself”

It’s time for non compromised reporters to heckle from the side of the red carpet, calling attendees sellouts and toadies.

This is the equivalent of me saying “All journalism does is mess up your life. Journalism is always the problem.”

Also physical newspapers!

“I haven’t seen it.”

“Excuse me, Captain, I was led to believe we were sailing on the Sloop John A”

Don’t let the good Lord hit ya, Silicon Valley quarter-zip

Such an interesting defense from the conservative blog sage of Baton Rouge. Or something. I’m just not sure what point this makes except about the person who wrote it.

Helena built her bones in the state lege by getting some of the most odious legislators to sign on to her good plans. She’s very good at this.

At my favorite bar in Chicago. If you know me you can spot my portrait on the wall. I’d rather be immortalized here than at Sardi’s.

Also: 🤮 squared

I have the feeling this is the beginning of these stories about “progressive” white dudes whose wardrobes are filled with fleece quarter-zips from swag distributed by now-defunct Silicon Valley startups

And he was prettttty pleased with himself

I feel that Gloria shouldn’t have to have chosen between marrying for the money or taking a lover in the afternoon

Slow night on the social desk

Oh, sure, it was OK when Margaret Truman and Alice Roosevelt Longworth did it, but now that it’s Hunter …

Same with restaurant news/openings/reviews and restaurant/hospitality labor reporters

Gonna start responding to any comment on my clothing by nodding knowingly and saying, “It’s the latest in Japanese streetwear.”

One thing about assigned seating on Southwest: the number of people using wheelchairs to preboard has decreased dramatically

“Bling & Bubbles” sounds like a morning zoo talk radio team in what broadcasters call an “urban market”

“Watch the teeth, Todd … don’t forget my balls … “

Running errands on a day that feels like the first 20 minutes of a 1980s movie about the moments before nuclear holocaust, with concerned discussions on background radio and TV. Didn’t help to go by the credit union where they were playing Peter Gabriel’s “Games Without Frontiers.”

“Furnished suites” = former AirBnB

Who says these guys are out of touch? I bet Jake will be wearing his $300 First Amendment cravat with his black tie

My annual testimony for FreeTaxUSA. Easier than TurboTax, completely free to use and e-file.