Happy Halloween! 🎃 👻🍬 Please keep all "tricks" relegated to the Ranger Station and not the park itself. The squirrels have a hoarding problem and don't need to be tempted.

I can confirm this: she has texted me at least 3 times since this morning, demanding to know why they get the first date. I'm increasingly tempted to allow her the "honor" as they both call it.

Don't worry, I'll take you on a date soon and they'll stop. 😘 And for everyone asking: don't worry, my girlfriend and I are still happily together, and she thinks this entire thing is hilarious. 😂 - 💧

You're not the one getting told to give their coworker a chance.

The sheer number of people on our tumblr trying to wingman for me is genuinely hilarious. -💧

You are literally in the next room. And no.

ANSWER YOUR RADIO THEN! And tell me what you think of the callsigns! -💧

STOP PINGING ME ON THE CHANNEL!

Manic Botanic to Captain Khakis, do you read? Come in Captain Khakis! -💧

OH DON'T YOU START WITH ME CAPTAIN KHAKI SHORTS! WINTER - KHAKIS! SUMMER - KHAKIS! LITERALLY ANY EVENT THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE COSTUMES - KHAKIS! In short: You don't get to judge. -💧

I'm guessing you're not handling this heat wave well.

Hey so, it is almost 6pm. It's also mid-September. WHY CAN I COOK EGGS ON THE SIDEWALK?! -💧

She's not the only one... "Hotshot" 😝 -💧

That's what happens when your girlfriend thinks I'm funny.

Sorry there was no post today! We got the day off - had a nice picnic with the staff and our loved ones. (I saw someone sharing a smile when they thought we weren't looking~) -💧

To clarify, he doesn't ONLY study algae. But he is the guy who knows the most about it on the team - so: Algae Guy. -💧

To everyone who yelled "POLO!" when I called for Marco today: We were looking for our algae guy. But that was hilarious. 🤣 -💧

Guess who forgot to hit "send" on the last Tweet, and deleted what was thought to be an old draft? It was Diane. Everyone better be nice. She feels bad enough to ask I mention it.

Botany class for me! -💧

We heard school is starting soon for some of you! What's your favorite class? Or if you're not in school, what was yours/what would you pick? I always liked Ecology.

You know you're my favorite topic of work conversation. 😘 -💧

You know, I thought the lack of gossip would mean you would actually get more work done instead of talking about me. But it's just business as usual.

You know, I thought things would be a lot more exciting now that Grumps finally confessed. But it's just business as usual. -💧

Look, in my defense, we *thought* there was only one breeding pair. I have no idea where the other ones came from when we agreed to that research study. -💧

The sun is shining... The birds are singing... There are crabs in the Park... People are enjoying their day... If you noticed something wrong there, we did too! Now for the next issue: How and Why.

I'd say you should be looking at reports and not cacti but seriously this heatwave is awful. Go Team Cacti. 🎉

Can someone turn down the sun? My babies are dying. Well, some of them are. There are a few that are positively thriving, like the dehydrated, molten-loving little freaks they are. ❤️ -💧 (Before anyone says it: I'm already looking at cacti)

This is weird. You are literally never this cheerful. ...Wait. WAIT DID IT FINALLY HAPPEN?! -💧

Ahhh, today is such a lovely day! Sun is shining, birds are singing - the air is so crisp and fresh! Wonderful!

Someone was eager to leave work today. 👀 -💧

Update: We are now including "chewing on coffee beans" in that list. Please drink water. Please.

Friendly reminder that energy drinks, coffee, soda, and caffeine gum do not replace your need for water while spending time outside. Heat stroke is no joke - HYDRATE!

We're alive! With the kickoff of summer, we gets tons of visitors, booked birthday parties, and campers stopping by, so sorry if we worried anyone! Grumps is currently trying to get a public one scheduled now (read: using any excuse they can to flirt with their not-girlfriend). -💧

HAH! PIN OF SHAME! -💧

Rob's not dead. We're putting his photo on the "Problem Visitor" board.

Did you know a number of animals - like humans - have also been cited to have homosexual relationships? Bottlenose dolphins, penguins, lions, rams, and various types of monkeys have all been documented as such. (And yes, before anyone asks: gay wolves exist too. Still no wolves in the Park.)

To all the styles, titles, and variations found in the rainbow community: Nothing can keep us down. Happy Pride Month! To all the gentlemen, boys, men, lads, and all other labels you wish: Remember that you are loved, and your wellbeing matters. Happy Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. -GP Team

Sounds boring. -💧

Their job.

What do people usually do when nothing exciting is happening? - 💧

For the safety of the public, foraging is not allowed within the Park. Unless you can impress Sal, our resident mycologist. Then we'll let you pick mushrooms.

She was surprisingly knowledgeable about it! I'm not sure if that made it worse or better. -💧

Yes, we are aware of the "National Park Thirst Traps". And to the person who made it necessary for us to explain this to Diane (as well as a number of other coworkers): I just want to talk.

Happy Mother's Day from the Park! (Sorry for the late post, we were celebrating Work Mom) -💧

...Why would you say that? Why would you say that?!

It has been far too quiet these past couple of days. Clearly something has gone wrong. How is everyone? -💧

Those are not furballs in the trees. They are nests.

I got enough grief from my girlfriend about this, leave me alone! 😭 -💧

The fact that not a single one of you pointed out that my coworker mixed up N*Sync and Backstreet Boys yesterday just proves only nerds follow this account. I am equally disappointed and proud.

So which May trend is going to win this year: Backstreet Boys or Star Wars? My money is on my fellow nerds. -💧