A thought: Brian, being well aware of the level of political sophistication demonstrated by George Grundy, has exiled Adam because he doesn't want a certain piece of graffiti turning up on the signs for Home Farm... #TheArchers

Scene: The Bull Jolene: Hello, Ian, what can I get you? Ian: Oh, I think I'll have a bitter top. J: Haven't you already got one of those, darlin'? #TheArchers

Adam: This afternoon I was so depressed I went to see the social worker. Ian: Was he any help? A: Not really; he beat me up. He said I was a whining nancy-boy with girlie white legs, then pummelled me repeatedly with his book, "Showing Compassion To Clients". #TheArchers 1/3

I have to say, I do like it when Adam sounds confident. Although it frequently costs me heavily in popcorn. #TheArchers

And when the assessment comes up and it turns out Brian's as sharp as ever he was, but that you were acting unreasonably, you oaken idiot? #TheArchers

Oh dear, Adam... never mind, always look on the bright side of life... #TheArchers #LifeOfBrian

You could put the 'fluence on Bert, Carol. That'd be a help. #TheArchers

Is Carol saying the vicar looks like a Dick? #TheArchers

No, Ian. It's about as easily done as said... #TheArchers

10p says the Care Assessment says Carol should have been in a home 5 years ago. #TheArchers

Because she's abominably stressed and massively committed to making sure her mother doesn't starve or fall down, and so she thinks she's not? #TheArchers

Giant sacrifices? Ah, Carol relives her youth... #TheArchers

Oh, shut up and eat your dinner, you appalling old harridan. #TheArchers

Ian will have a pint of Shires, of course! Everybody does! #TheArchers #PintOfShires

Brian does love his kids. But Adam and Debbie aren't his. #TheArchers

"I went to see Ruariegh yesterday, took him a bottle of wine." #TheArchers

"Pint of Shires, of course. It's not like there's anything else apart from that Estonian Beaujolais you bought" #TheArchers

Dammit, sneezed and missed the CA for #TheArchers

Adam declares war. Ah, the Bore War has begun. #TheArchers

Anna is surprised by an unexpected declaration. Gosh, has Hellqueen set her sights on her? If so, flee! #TheArchers

I tell you what we've all lost track of. Who exactly is the current Ambridge Shagger? #TheArchers

- It's pronounced "Rug-rat" - Hello you two! - Pint of Shires? - I Am The Ambridge Clonker - I Bat For Darrington #TheArchers

Gaaah! First time I get to listen to #TheArchers all week and I get an important phone call!

Lilian has decided to tackle the elephant in the room. The elephant being Brian Aldridge. Orwell has some hints, Fagash. #TheArchers

Lynda offers the benefit of her experience. "And you, see, once they say they'd like to do something to help the community, well, that's when you really turn the screw, which is why you must always have your sign up sheet with you at all times..." #TheArchers

Alice tries to get to the bottom of recent events. Best of luck to her. We've been listening intently and we haven't got a flaming clue. #TheArchers

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have two thankless stepchildren... #TheArchers #BrianLear

If they're going to fight, Brian will take the ball away. #TheArchers

Never thought I'd say it, but: Piss off Debbie. #TheArchers

Well, that's that all sorted out then. Pint? #TheArchers

Debbie doesn't burn bridges, does she? Not when there's a nuke available. #TheArchers

Oooh, isn't the tension delicious? #TheArchers

Debbie, you and Adam are not Brian's children! #TheArchers

*Sits by Brian to reload the barrels as needed* #TheArchers

Nobody expects the Home Farm Inquisition! #TheArchers

Yes, that works, Debbie. "Sorry, Brian, we think you're going gaga." #TheArchers

Oh my my my. When did Debbie turn into Goneril? #TheArchers #BrianLear

So... Brian should leave the land between the two who are not his children? Struggling with that one. #TheArchers

What is going on here? Asked Brian. A right royal dirty diabolical carveup, said the listeners. #TheArchers

Oooh, the grasping little git! #TheArchers

Good grief. Coup de Brian. #TheArchers

Of course Adam wants more trees! He's short on friends! #TheArchers

Adam knows what he's talking about? Since when?! #TheArchers

Brian does not operate as a dictator! Anyone who says otherwise will be sent beyond the bypass! #TheArchers

Surprise! It's Debbie! #TheArchers

Make it snappy? Likely to be snappish, at any rate. #TheArchers

Good luck everybody *peep* #TheArchers

Gunfight at the Home Farm boardroom. #TheArchers

Long held tensions boil over. Stand by for Even More Furious Adam, Angry Brian, Incandescent Rugrat and More Passive Aggressive Than Usual Kate. #TheArchers