Make a band even more alcoholic: The Tequillers

Adumb: Well, Rugrat, you should know that when I ran this farm, I always used to say Management Accepts New Ideas And Criticism, so every time you see me making a management decision, just think MANIAC. #TheArchers

Or any other part of her! #TheArchers

"Prison will seem like a Sunday picnic" snarled Adam, boomingly. #TheArchers

OK. I hate this. I'm agreeing with Adam. #TheArchers

Brad, ,Brad, Brad... stop complimenting her when she's weeping in your arms... She'll get ideas you're ill-equipped to deal with, despite everything Mia taught you... #TheArchers

Is that it? What a swizz. Doesn't compare to ferret-splatting. #TheArchers

"He's a very considerate knacker, see, he's got a muffler on his shotgun" #TheArchers

Oh, FFS, someone deal with Old Yeller! And Bartleby too! #TheArchers

"What does that mean, Brian?" "Oh, Rugrat's fearless speaking of truth to power and your using him as a human shield means you're both fired." #TheArchers

"well, it's like this Brian, you know how Bartleby went off to live on another farm... we think you should too." #TheArchers

"We think it might be time for you to take another holiday. We thought Switzerland" #TheArchers

So, Amber's been brought up in the countryside and doesn't know about how they dispatch horses? #TheArchers

Go on, Amber! Get in the way! #TheArchers

"I'll just take him into the stable there and put him gently to sleep..." BANG! #TheArchers

George smiling? What was he up to? #TheArchers

Hello, Bartleby, my old mate, my four legged friend, my pedigree chum... #TheArchers

Cover cropping? Hornblower? What the deuce is going on and why does it sound like a euphemism overload? #TheArchers

Adam explaining about progressive drilling?! #TheArchers

No, George isn't coming, he's had an unexpected incident with a toothbrush. #TheArchers

Ed: I was expecting to put in a full day on the hedges, only my grandad's pony's getting the chop. #TheArchers

It's a distressing day as we say goodbye to Bartleby. From now on, any references to him will literally be flogging a dead horse. #TheArchers

Evening all *Sips honey and lemon* Another right royal question: What was the cause of death of the last King of France? Answer at 7:15! #TheArchers

Brad offers his support. I always said he was a lad you could truss. #TheArchers

Brad offers his support. At his age, what does he need with one of those? #TheArchers

Adam lays down some ground rules. "Firstly, when the light's on in the polytunnel, there's no entry; secondly, only I will have access to the petty cash and thirdly; no-one is to fill my wellies with slurry again." #TheArchers

Parklife.

Call me a prude if you want to, but I do think it's really weird to use your conference speech to list your favourite wanking euphemisms

A sharpened toothbrush... Hmm. Is that more Round the Horne or Goon Show? #TheArchers

I suspected that comments about teeth would come back to bite the George & Amber storyline... #TheArchers

I always suspected George was a complete shanker. #TheArchers

Who's got loads of money and a desire to keep farming? Step forward Fweddie! #TheArchers

He tries to get out, but they drag him back in... #TheArchers

Ooooh, cell search! George isn't coming out, is he? #TheArchers

Honey sandwiches, digestive biscuits and extra strong mints? This is a dying pony, not the Famous Five! #TheArchers

Oh... Justin's offering his shares to Brian... #TheArchers

Justin is offering Brian his support? Best wash it first... #TheArchers

Hmm. Have you met Brian, Justin? He's a long record of taking the business personally. #TheArchers

Brian's sick of the drama an he doesn't even listen! #TheArchers

"It's only Kirsty"? The village's attitude to her summed up in one dismissive comment. #TheArchers

Oh, Justin, George doesn't swan about. He struts, as befits an arrogant little scrote. #TheArchers

I somehow feel they're flogging a nearly-dead horse... #TheArchers

Yes, George. Bartleby will no longer be able to get you followers. #TheArchers

The oldest living pony in the world... Temporarily, George. #TheArchers

Bartleby went to live on another farm, George... #TheArchers

George's chip is likely to break his shoulder, isn't it? #TheArchers

I'd be cautious if Justin offered me a coffee and a business suggestion... #TheArchers

Farm shop cheese is expensive shocker. #TheArchers

Brad has a dilemma involving cheese. Just it eat it, boy! #TheArchers

Justin dangles a carrot. Dirty boy! #TheArchers