serenity drifts quietly through the open window with reverence and grace she holds it in her hands

How did I break? Slowly at first, then all at once. How did I heal? Slowly at first, then all at once.

I’ll be 200 days sober on my birthday. Pretty cool timing!

It’s my mother’s birthday today. I went no contact with her several years ago, but I do still think about her. Despite everything she did to me, I hope she’s having a good day.

Being totally honest in a relationship can be really hard, especially if you know it’s going to hurt the other person, but sometimes difficult conversations are the only way forward.

The womb requires a chocolate sacrifice.

Me the week before my period: I hate everyone and nobody loves me. Me the day my period starts: I may have overreacted slightly.

It’s a beautiful day to go cry on the beach.

The most painful part of rebirth is all of the goodbyes.

Who needs therapy when you can just get in your car, turn the music up, and drive to nowhere.

I free myself from all attachment.

The era of people pleasing and feeling guilty for everything is over.

It’s officially birthday week.

Super irritable. Need to hibernate until it passes.

The art of saying nothing.

The way you feel the week leading up to your period should be illegal.

Getting older means realising that very few people are worth your time, and those that are should be treasured.

without expectation without disappointment

There’ll be peace when you are done ♡

Sometimes enough is whatever you have.

Supernatural season 10. Here we go!

the pull of the sad life lives in my chest tugging and screaming it won’t let me rest

I’ve spent my whole life feeling guilty for existing. It’s time for that to change.

Doing okay and then out of nowhere I can’t breathe. That’s grief.

I can’t eat salad because of sensory issues, so to increase my veg intake I boil half a cup of mixed veg (carrots, corn, green beans, peas) and have that every day as part of my lunch. The texture still freaks me out, but they are cut small enough that I can swallow them with water like pills lol.

Found a supplier of raw honey and omg I’m addicted!

Husband and I are rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I find Instagram very overwhelming at times. Sensory overload city!

Going to try logging out of all social media when I take my meds at night (9pm).

Been having nerve issues in my right hip. Saw my massage therapist and she said it’s related to chronic muscle tension (surprise surprise). She worked on that area today and holy fuck it hurt.

Very drained today.

The sleep fairies came.

Sleepless dreams.

Songs singing themselves.

I almost never experience purely euphoric hypomanic episodes, they are always mixed and/or just a ball of irritability, but at this time of year euphoria makes her grand entrance. It takes all the discipline I have to take my meds and sleep when all I want to do is stay up and talk to the moon.

Putting yourself out there is really scary. I feel like I’m being judged so hard, which makes me want to just disappear.

Am I sad that I can’t go to The Mayhem Ball or the upcoming Florence + The Machine tour? Of course! But honestly I’m just so thankful to exist at the same time as these two incredible artists, so I can’t be sad for long.

Listening to the album with a much lighter heart today.

Everybody Scream (Chamber Version) is out ♡