I'm so annoyed by political news. I'm so annoyed with wanting to make friends on social networks and having next to no engagement with my posts. I'm annoyed by everything. I'm going back to bed. Y'all figure out this shit before I wake up.

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN

I had a trivia team submit an answer sheet that said "Harlem Globtrobbers" and every time I think of it, I giggle.

I am accepting zero shit from anyone today. I'm on a 662 day Wordle streak, a 357 day Waffle streak, and a 102 day Connections streak. I am literally untouchable.

What slightly fresh but mostly discounted Valentine's hell awaits us today, my friends?

Today's my day to say Valemtime's until someone stops me. Spoiler: nobody stopped me. Best. Valemtime's. Ever.

INVERTEBRATES omfg

Why don't they just replace the Star Spangled Banner with the sound of a toilet flushing?

A preemptive 15 yard penalty has been awarded to be assessed against the #Eagles after kickoff. #SuperbowlLIX

Breaking news:

Wasn't the war in Ukraine supposed to be ended in an hour?

Please don't call it Elon-gate. That will just add more months in litigation and stretch this out forever

I like to watch barbecue cooking shows and see the gentle way the cooks caress and season the brisket and dream of what it would be like to be a brisket

Welcome to your home for fresh hell, never frozen. What can one of our American wait staff get for you today, until they're all fired by the government?

GIRL THEY COMIN FOR SHEIN AND TEMU NOW

Should leave... AND GO WHERE

What stale, day-old, slightly fuzzy hell awaits us today, friends?

I feel like a dork for believing Trump would follow through with the tariffs now.

Can I request a little stale hell for tomorrow? Maybe an off-brand? Some farm fresh heck for a change?

Please note: Trump just called off the Mexican tariffs. I shall be adding "psychic" to my resume, just as soon as I finish this "I Told You So" dance.

So what fresh hell awaits us today?

And the fresh hell for tomorrow will be... Trump becoming the hero by walking back tariffs and "saving Americans millions of dollars."

This is why I didn't ask what fresh hell awaited us today. Saints preserve us

Democracy isn't dead; it's just resting its eyes.

But at least Tesla is doing well while all other stocks seem to be shitting the proverbial bed. 🙄

BREAKING: In advance of the Superbowl, the NFL has issued a preemptive 15-yard penalty for roughing after reading the quarterback reports, citing an obvious threat to "Hurts-Mahomes." Film at 11.

So where will today's plane crash be located?

Mmkay another airplane crash I'm just gonna stop asking

Holy shit yesterday's hell was pretty terrible, too. Okay what fresh hell is in store for this Friday?

I'm kinda sick of trying to find commonalities with people who defend TFG. I'm a firm believer that you can't debate someone until you can articulate their position clearly, but it's taking up too much of my brain power to try to rationalize this nonsense. I give up. 🏳🏳🏳

Oh. Airplane crash resulting in loss of life. Okay, so what fresh hell awaits us TODAY (I'll specify Thursday)?

What fresh hell awaits us today, friends?

Happy Lunar New Year, y'all! Welcome to the Year of the Wood Snake!

I found ICE's color reference chart Click to expand

Okay but where is there any provision in place preventing him from governing solely via executive orders for the next four years?

Okay, so there's not a single adult around Trump saying "maybe this isn't a good idea"? Where is the Axis of Adults from term #1?

Trump: What happens if I throw this baby off of a roof? Me: It'll die. Trump: [throws baby] [THUD] Schumer: Trump cannot throw babies off of roofs. [THUD] SCOTUS: Trump cannot throw babies off of roofs. [THUD] Me: You guys, he's still throwing babies. [THUD] MAGA: He's such a strong leader! [THUD]

Again. This picture is from 1942, during the enforcement of Executive Order 9066. He had served in the army. They didn't care. He looked Japanese, so he had to go. Shame on anyone who forgot or ignored this history.

Y'all see it, right?

Spending the next 4 years obsessing about the minutae of idiot movements and spoken gaffes doesn't sound like fun.

Alexa, how much popcorn can you eat in 4 years?

Wait don't go

Replacing parts on mom's 1864-constructed house is very this. Documented paranormal activity or the basement heater going mips-up? We may never know. (It was the heater. $7k. Damn ghosts)

I was given this description on That Other Site today and I feel like it's brought honor to my ancestors.

Oh, hello BlueSky. I forgot you were there, what with the enormous clouds of gloom gathering under the Second Orange Reich downstairs.

#waffle1069 2/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⬜🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 306 🧙 #wafflewizard wafflegame.net

Merry Christmas, y'all! Wordle 1,285 2/6* 🟨🟨🟩🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Y'all remember this?

#waffle1068 3/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩 🟩⬜🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 305 🧙 #wafflewizard wafflegame.net

Why do we call them feet heaters and not feeters?