Posting and existing online seems bad now. Kinda regretting our culture building all its interpersonal infrastructure around this if we were gonna let immoral botfly larvae run the whole thing into the ground.

We're witnessing the most aggressive, fanatical crackdown on free speech in my lifetime. The speed and breadth of government censorship and private sector and nonprofit capitulation has been astonishing. As has the lack of urgency/silence from people who've long claimed to care about this stuff.

In a relationship now, nervous but happy. It’s with a person who I trust and have been having romantic feelings for a while now but ran way from those feelings bc relationships r super scary and I be insecure sometimes

I wanna cry but there’s no tears to come out. I am just so tired of myself. If I can’t cease to exist, I wish I could just change everything about myself

And I don’t like talking to anybody about my feelings bc I especially hate it when they try to give me advice and just say stupid uplifting shit as if I hadn’t done that in my head a million times. So i just do it on here or whatever social media app I’m on at the time bc in a sense it’s like…

I genuinely believe that nothing in this world matters and that should be a freeing thought, but it’s not. To me is just raises the question of why I’m even here, I suck at living and I feel embarrassed about the things that I like and idk all thoughts on self improvement usually lead me to see

I hate almost everything about myself

Nvm I still wanna just die

My new fantasy of how I envision my life going is now me being a translator for Spanish English and Japanese, also working specifically at a nuclear power plant (Or just studying nuclear energy) that shares information between countries that speak all those languages

I wish smartphones were introduced when I was already a grown adult so I could experience the beginning of social media when everybody wasn’t such a doomsday predicting conspiracy theorist

Feeling cute 🦋

Also started watching the live action version of Cherry Magic and OMG I need to find more fucking BL series

Loving season 2 of My Dress Up Darling Still resorts to using fan service for some scenes but not nearly as bad as season 1 did I’m glad they pivoted away from that idk if it’s from the manga or scenes they added in for the anime but it really just takes away from the cuteness

Dude I’m obsessed with the summer hikaru died It’s really captivating my interest

Been playing Ghostwire:Tokyo and I just love it

BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM GASPING FOR AIRRRRRRR

I just watched Mickey 17 and I enjoyed it Felt like it criticized capitalism and 47 a bit but idk am I stupid or am I making connections? Mark ruffalos character had mannerisms that mimicked 47 a bit

My best friend recently came to town to visit and I just didn’t visit her…I wanted to but I felt to bad about myself that I couldn’t bring myself to actually set up a date or something. I don’t wanna see anyone right now

I have nobody or rather I keep pushing everybody away until there is no one left

Just woke up from a nap I love when it’s dark outside

I really really really wanna go back to school But I have no idea what I truly want to dedicate my time to? Like I’ve thought something in the arts, specifically animation or a story writer but…idk I need to work on my lack of desire to live my life. I don’t wanna do anything after I turned 20

I’m conflicted with this potential porn ban On one end, i do see that it could benefit people from not having to constantly see pornographic type content and being desensitized to that But on the other end, I know it could just be a front to ban anything w/queer people given that they already see

I hate when my moods go up and down

I wanna be normal

Dealing with religious family members is so annoying

Man oh man this game is killing me 😭😭

I wish the world doesn’t turn into a hell hole, and if it does, could it at least be bc of some apocalyptic event that destroys society and just leaves nature to take over

Im finally playing the last of us part 1&2 (because it’s been on my list forever) and omg i played on the normal difficulty and this shit is kind of hard 🫩 like damn I suck ass Story wise, compared to the show, I think the tv changes were necessary bc it’s better for that format vs a video game

Everything is so damn expensive 🥲 having problems with the house again and a bunch of state regulations bullshit. More money to spend on bullshit problems, all because some stupid mf caused a fire that broke out and led to 6 units being burned in my neighborhood and now they are checking everything

2073, a great film/documentary?¿

Maybe I just need to masturbate and shut up

The latest thing I’ve been reflecting on is if I use people. I can’t say confidently that I don’t or that I do. Sometimes I really see myself needing to surround myself with people and love because humans are social animals and finding your tribe of peeps is fun and whimsical and THE true purpose

I wish I was a chinchilla

It’s like I wish I could metaphysically enter the INSIDE of my mind and just fix the connections, literally force neural plasticity to work in my favor. It’s crazy. I’m literally me but somehow I make a distinction between the side of me that drags me down and the side of me that wants to thrive

I used to think my depression was linked to my homosexuality but now that I seen several hundred people that had similar or even worse upbringings than me still find the will to progress in their life, I’ve realized it’s something more than just how the world interacts with my orientation

I mean if i have this much drastic energy thinking about ending my time in this realm, i should just channel that drastic energy into some form of art, given that my time in this realm will definitively end sometime anyway. BUT i just can’t seem to channel it properly

You ever fall in love with a fictional character? And then realize how insane that is

delicious in dungeon Laois is so cute

I wish I had never gotten a smart phone in middle school, i should’ve kept my flip phone

I hate living with relatives bc almost every other week I gotta deal with seeing people I don’t want to see nor care to know exist

I keep buying books, reading about a quarter of it and then never picking it up again 😓😓😓

I wanna do something but my mind just wanders too much and then I pick up the phone and doom scroll to silence it What were to happen if I just sat with these thoughts? No distraction. Would I evolve?

Oh god I wanna turn into dust I’d be so mad if thanos did his snap in our universe and I wasn’t the one that got poofed

Ughhh I’m losing gym motivation Like why try to be in better health, the world is going to shit

Man linkin park still gives me goosebumps after all these years

So excited to play Lost Souls Aside when it drops I preordered and wanna just play it already !!!!!

I need to find a way out of this head of mine

I feel like lashing out so badly but I know it won’t make my happy Man why can’t I just be better? I should know better.

I wish I had a secular science focused upbringing because while I can see SOME good in Christ?anity, I also see it as a curse.

My fucking trimmer broke 🙃 how am I gonna shape my goatee now