What if we all just stared straight at the sun until we all went blind

A funny question I often get when I mention that I'm an opera singer is "Are you working on anything I've heard of?", as if the average person knows the name of literally any opera

"Nobody wants me to do anything except look out the window"- 6 year old niece after being asked to stop running through the kitchen with a sports team flag trailing behind her while we are eating dinner

CVS is the only pharmacy I know that acts like you have to pick up your medication within 2 minutes or it will explode but will have fully 4 people behind the counter doing just generally whatever while there is a line of 8 people who haven't even been glanced at when you come to pick it up

A music note Advent calendar where the prize every day is just one of the 12 notes on a piece of staff paper

And where will they go if their research mentions Palestine

None of my NYC moots are allowed to talk to me for a while, I'm too jealous of you

There were many good costumes at the art gallery but no one served the same level of cunt as me

Kinda got the most incredible shirt of all time for $8 at the antique mall today

What kind of brain disease makes you think you can cynically idpol and "wait wait wait" your way through a Chotiner interview in 2025

One thing managers loveeeeee to do is schedule a meeting for the exact time I take lunch

Got a copy of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn at a used bookstore a few weeks ago and didn't notice until now this very sweet 28 year old message on the inside cover It's nothing immensely profound but it touches my heart anyway

Genuinely really enjoy how this seems to imply that I wouldn’t know it was my birthday if not for the people who said yes when Facebook asked them if they wanted it to post something for them

If anyone would like to give me money for achieving the arduous and joyous task of beginning another decade of my life very shortly after making a cross country move, I will not turn you down

Officially my first double digit birthday that doesn't start with a 1 or 2 and I'm being so super normal about it

NOT DIANE KEATON

🤪

Classical musicians, especially opera people: what's a recording, particular piece or work, musical phrase, even an essay that is so effective or good or evocative that it makes you feel like it HAS to exist

I made cinnamon rolls from scratch and they are so easily the very best cinnamon rolls I, a self proclaimed cinnamon roll snob, have ever had in my life as to be a religious experience.

Got second place in the stein holding contest at the ren fest today (and the guy who won was cheating) if anyone is looking for a hottie with very strong shoulders

Told my coworkers about fat bear week and they barely cared, life is a prison

Maybe I am simply ignorant but I did not realize "throwing shade" was "common parlance in Jane Austen's time" old

Hey just in case you guys weren't aware leucovorin is part of a couple widely used chemo regimens. So is saline, so I'm not saying it's like automatically evil because of that, but uh. That is its current most common use and we sure don’t need shortages of it

One thing I think we need to remember in all of this is that despite the fact that my birthday is apparently the same as fucking Charlie Kirk's, I am younger and more beautiful and also not dead

Time for a game of DOES IT COUNT where I say why I think something that didn't happen exactly should count and you tell me if you agree or not

Choosing also to count the tomato recipe trend because although I am not aware of a tomato RECIPE being trendy this summer, it has absolutely been a tomato summer. Bath and Body Works has a whole tomato girl summer line out, I say it counts

Can’t believe I got this one honestly (hope she's okay)

In the last 5 years or so, I have had only two public Facebook posts, and evidently someone reached out to a former employer-- and by former, I mean 7 years ago-- who has not been listed on my profile for several years about one of these posts People are truly like clinically insane out here

Oh darn!!!!!!! Anyway,

Being the funny one at a remote job is so easy, all you have to do is put a gif in the chat and say how much you're looking forward to not being at work every so often and people will give you laugh reacts like nobody's business

Thinkin about hitting my head repeatedly against a wall later tonight if anyone wants to join

There is no part of me that even kind of thinks he's dead, but the posts are really fun

Finally figured out how to articulate this

Girl who is really thrilled by the width of the windowsills here

Uh hey guys

Sometimes when I'm out just browsing I'll see a nice or cool trash can for like $30 and for a second I entertain spending the money for the upgrade and then I remember that me-but-poorer from 8 years ago who was absolutely indignant that a holder for literal trash could cost that much was correct

In the temporary absence of health insurance I have used a woo-adjacent approach to help resolve an episode of back spasms and it brings me ABSOLUTELY no pleasure to report that it's kind of worked (for the time being at least)

One thing about St. Louisans, they're gonna pronounce initialisms like they're words regardless of how unpronounceable it is

God I'm absolutely crushing it in the teams chat today fellas

People have got to stop giving directions to me using cardinal directions only because bestie I never know which way I'm pointed

I wish there were a way to reconcile the facts that 1) cell phones in kids' pockets during the school day result in worse education outcomes and 2) in the age of school shootings, it's important for kids to have a way to send real time safety information and, god forbid, last words to their parents

I was explaining "bitch eating crackers" to the roomie last night and she interjected and said "this is kind of like explaining Onika burgers to someone"

We should give newborns sunglasses before we do anything else with them

The list of human foods my cat likes so much I literally can't eat them around her: Tuna (of course) Ritz crackers Honey glazed bacon Lemon pizzelle Baguette Expensive taste on this little thing I tell you what

In light of recent developments, I must request that those of you who were around on the other place for that time I posted my anti-that-particular-blonde-lady manifesto on private try to recall some of my points because OH BABY does she continue to prove me right

I just feel like a place that calls itself a taco place shouldn't take very literally 24 minutes to make an order

Girl who is snoozin after she was sooo brave meeting our housemate today

9:15-9:45 is the perfect range for a 15 minute break

Paul Juda announced his retirement don’t text don’t call I'm in mourning

It should be illegal for anyone in a current executive branch office to go on podcasts I think