I'm on this new special diet where you just eat anything you can afford.

I know a lot of us want to see more of this on screen but for now please ask your local librarian for a list of Indigenous horror/folklore/fantasy novels. I promise you will not regret reading a single one.

Oops I accidentally ruined the workplace by being more qualified than my male boss and all I got for it was this lousy gender gap paycheck.

I wrote this. Please like me.

Hell just got a little more evil.

There is no social media in the Bible. If you are Christian you should shout your thoughts from the mountaintop.

Maga keeps going after Netflix. They are not the only streaming service with queer content for all ages however, they are the only service that didn't pay the "trump tax, (kissing his ass).

He keeps making things up when we all know that autism was caused by shape-shifting lizard aliens that crashed into the flat earth and mated with Hillary Clinton in the basement of a pizza place.

We are one step closer to George Springer riding a horse topless......Ladies.

"CaNaDiAnS dOn'T kNoW aNyThINg AbOuT bAsEbAlL" Buddy, we know more about your own country's history than you.

Why should we listen to her anyway? She's a virgin who can't drive.

It's only a little different #Peacemaker #30Rock

🎶 That's bait and I don't need to participate 🎶 Sing it with me now!

Men will literally rapture half the population just so they don't have to take care of their kids.

Me, when I'm telling a story from point B to point F to point A to point J to point A again to point C to point E to point D.

It's Bi Pride day! Eat my ass, I'm bisexual!

Have a blessed Mabon, or a happy first day of Fall for those of you who believe in that sort of thing!

The rapture happened at 8:42 this morning. See? You can just say things.

I'm just a silly little guy.

All the white male comics that were upset about your Kirk jokes are now upset that Kimmel was cancelled. It's almost as though fascism comes for everyone.

The ADHD in me honors the ADHD in you.

Centrists are just 3 right-wingers in a trenchcoat.

Charles-Haden Savage admitting to being, "a little gay", made my whole year. Thank you, Only Murders in the Building. We needed you.

We pay our landlords for a service and they treat us like we work for them.

Love to hop on Threads to see people using the same post structure we used 10 yrs ago on Twitter. I SAID WHAT I SAID!

Men will be like, "You bleed every month? Gross.", then proceed to pee on the toilet seat, the floor, the ceiling, your hair, electrical outlets, your neighbour's roses, the alleyway, and airplanes flying over your house.

I just got a covid vaccine and now I can see the future.

#tbt in my Reptilian Poison Ivy cosplay. #PoisonIvy #DC #Burlesque

I used to have money. It was great. I highly recommend it.

I'm taking a monster f***er class. I don't think you're ready for the level of monster f***er-y I can get up to.

I don't like her movies but I support a woman's right to make bad films!

We wouldn't need the 'Epstein Files' if you just believed women.

Who's got 2 thumbs, speaks limited French, and just got paid for their second job writing for TV? THIS MOI!

Del Monte filed for bankruptcy

All this dating talk reminds me of a time I was out with a guy and I asked him what his favourite songs are, like stuck on an island and these are the only songs you can listen to for the rest of your life, and he said, "Who cares?". Well, I did but thanks for sorting that out.

It's oil. It's always oil. abcnews.go.com/Politics/wir...

In my 30 Rock fan group we sometimes get together to read scripts. This past weekend some members managed to get both Grizz AND Dotcom to read Audition Day with us. As you can see from the cropped Zoom photo, I was smiling the whole time. They are very sweet and love their fans.

The neurodivergent urge to finish this post with a list instead of making a quick joke.

Kids today have never heard the Mortal Kombat techno song and it shows.

My favourite thing about writing for television is that I can create characters and name them after my friends.... or my enemies.

If you can put aside the fact that he's incompetent, a criminal, and corrupt, I think you'll find that he's also a huge f***ing Loser.

Mosquitos love to die how they lived, getting squashed while sucking on blood.

I don't mind that people dislike me. I'm flattered that they think of me at all.

They should change the name of The Social Network 2 to Posted 2 Days Ago.

Sorry I'm late, I had to stop to pet five adorable dogs on the way here.

Hanging the corpses of mosquitos outside my door so they know not to mess with me.

I need something stronger than blocking someone. I should be able to slap their parents.

"Everyone is entitled to their opinion.", says man with the worst opinions.

Likely place for women to be.