You can do this with a metallic sharpie if you don't want to pay printing costs. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/holy PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I believe we've been breeding each other for aww, but so far it hasn't been very successful. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/nuke PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I believe we've been breeding each other for aww, but so far it hasn't been very successful. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/sheep-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

How come nobody asks for all-powerful, all-knowing, and at least PRETTY good? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/theodi... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I believe Buddhists aren't allowed to get mad about this misrepresentation, because that'd be a form of attachment. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/o-monks PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The truest deepest way to happiness is a brain implant with a happy button. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/happin... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Remember that whole year you had to have Piketty on your coffee table to be accepted in polite society? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/unread PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I don't know if you can build ethics out of expected value, but I know that if I'm on a deserted island with someone who DOES think that, I'm running in the opposite direction. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/bet PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

You can tell it's not real because no human would be that stupid. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/chips PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I just want to be completely clear to my advertisers: that is a tail. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/climax PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Check out the full book reviews and the affiliate links on Patreon! The post is open to all. www.patreon.com/posts/135704...

People who say there's no good use for AI need to think harder. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/ai-16 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Anyone complaining about my delineations should decide they are not in fact a self and so no email need be sent to correct me. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/suffer... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The crumbs on the couch are, however, new. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/same-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Friend of Wigner is actually private slang in physics, which means 'willing to talk about Quantum Foundations' COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/symbol... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Possibly grapes would be more productive. Consult your local agricultural extension and tell them Zach Weinersmith sent you. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/garden... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Later a foot comes along wearing Jackboots and they have to decide whether to unite or get drowned. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/puppets PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

No, I don't know what knives look like. I've only been drawing 25 years. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/positi... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

It might also be possible to use complex soundwaves to inderdict the festive music. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/techni... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

You can also do the pi dogs, but then you lose business from the tau people. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dogs-4 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

There was a fairly intricate debate on an early version of this posted to bluesky, the contention being over whether OR was sufficient. I think the ORs have it, but XOR is a funnier word, so there. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/chew PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner...

The good news is you touched your butt once, so you wouldn't be going there anyway. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/actual... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I hereby release this logo to SpaceX. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/out PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

" COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/stop-3 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

I read that it's sometimes called Italian Man Orchid, which is an insult or compliment, depending on whether you're talking absolute size or size relative to the rest of the petal. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/petals PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Technically, a piece of elastic is a 2-sided fitted sheet. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/work-3 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Also a heap is when you have 26 of something. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/standa... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The best part is watching them go up to guys yelling on a soapbox to ask what their timelines are. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/nigh PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Later they turn off the gene drives and we beg to get them back. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/drive PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The Stewart's Calculus movie was 4,000 hours long but it's okay because nobody ever gets to the final third anyway. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/flux PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

These are actually the nicer heroes. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/super PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com #superman #comic

Again, Hollywood , call me. We can extend this single joke for YEARS. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/medicine PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Dare: go into a loud bar and only make goat noises during 3 hours of communication, and see if anyone notices. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/hear PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Another ten years passes and its just contemptuous staring. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/you-sir PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Sorry. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/id PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

And don't even get me STARTED on secondborn sons. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/firstb... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Despair is also great for baking productivity. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/die-2 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Thanks, @weinersmith.bsky.social and @zachweinersmith.bsky.social for creating this - it is pure perfection from @smbccomics.bsky.social #statsmeme #statsjoke

Of course it's more impressive if you do it yourself. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/turn PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Thanks geeks! It's not easy to get a meaty pop science book on these lists, and it's all thanks to you. ♥️ www.nytimes.com/books/best-s...

If you ask a topologist what their house is like they start counting windows, doors, and chimneys. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dress PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

We are here to get tripped over by Sally. That is all. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/why-7 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The main problem with the Erotic Ballet is that it's hard to politely clap with only one hand. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/right-... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

You can tell if it'll be a cartoonist by seeing if it cries whenever anyone comes in its room and/or turns on the lights. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/genera PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

The first thought that occurred after the Universe began to contemplate itself was 'this? is this all?' COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/fermi PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Actually WWII was a hallucination that just got way out of control. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/good-7 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Maybe we can crowd out evil conspiracies with benignly stupid ones? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/fellow PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

It will inflate like a beached dolphin on a summer's day. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/floral PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

If you could eat an entire cake without a stomach ache, would YOU ever eat all your broccoli? COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/picky PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Rating fundamental axioms of mathematics by funniness is much more productive. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/ethics-7 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com