Approximately 54% of American adults (roughly 130 million people) aged 16–74 read below the equivalent of a sixth-grade level

I went into a Zumiez with my kids the other day and the Gen Z worker was literally the most helpful without being obtrusive retail sales person I have ever met. Really made me want to ask why he was so different than ever other sullen weirdo working at the mall.

If you sell cocktails, you should provide a boba straw.

Based on how many times I've seen that video of a pitch directly into the catcher's junk, that "Ow! My Balls" show from Idiocracy would be immensely popular if they just put it on air right now.

I hate when you get that cool haircut you saw on that actor but it never looks good because your face is there ruining it

The truck whose doors fall apart if you slam them too hard?

It's a weird feeling to be going through the passport renewal process and not having any confidence that enough people work at the State Department anymore for this to actually happen successfully.

Sometimes I think about how the only gun reform we got in response to all the school shootings was that they beep out any references to guns in songs on the radio now.

Reading the news everyday on the lord’s internet:

You guys keep saying "Markwayne" as though it's said like Mark-Wayne. In fact, his name is "mar-KWAYNE".

6 days ago: lol the dumb Dems don't think the government should protect its citizens Yesterday: sorry some of you have to die and that's how it goes

If you're still calling the helpdesk in the age of AI, you just want to be a pain in the ass.

Finally had a completely free Saturday morning and couldn’t wait to sleep in. But I’m 46 so instead I woke up at 4:30 for no reason and that was that.

Gatorade spoiler

The Super Bowl feat. Thursday Night Football

The Super Bowl has turned me into Denzel Washington. “Ok. Alright.”

"Review this hour long recorded call before our meeting" "No"

None of the punishments for any of these actions is death. We have grown numb to the idea that if authority gets angry, authority may end your life, and that’s just going to happen with regularity.

People always say you should ask questions of others to get them to like you, something I struggle with because I absolutely don’t want to be asked questions because mind your business, mf!

“Welcome to Spotify, I’m DJ X, and here are the same 5 fucking songs I play every time you try to use me”

Actually the Malcolm Butler play was PI

You guys we accidentally let them make it way harder to watch TV while also charging us more for it.

As recently as like 10 years ago, if you called a business and they couldn't help you, they would still try to help you solve your problem. Now, as soon as the person figures out they can't be the one to help you, the simply cannot wait to tell you to fuck off, even if they say it in a nice way

The number of people I've seen being like "No way! Cops don't do that!" is crazy. 1 - these are not cops, these are peckerwoods with badges 2 - cops absolutely do this shit

I have a lot of anxiety about whether or not I'm shaking things well enough.

Not really enjoying this era where being a big whiny crybaby who rages when he doesn't get his way is seen as peak masculinity.

Each of the other two times the Seahawks won 13 games in their history, they made the Super Bowl.

Just make NCAA football an NFL subsidiary at this point. Remove the academic institutions as anything but location and branding. If an underclassman who is going to be a starter next year is hitting the portal, this is all pointless otherwise.

I support the Balkanization of the United States just because I need some regulations on these damn headlights. We are blinding each other tin the rain

It’s pretty weird that Luke Wilson and Billy Bob Thornton are being paid to have a proxy argument between a couple of the phone companies on tv

Just saying

ESPNs decision to move content into a paid tier when it used to be part of your subscription is an insidious and disgusting way to farm revenue. It’s one thing to devalue your existing sub by adding ads, but this is next level. Don’t pay them extra money or the others will learn this works.

Share Steichen just called Philip Rivera up like he needed a short notice fourth for his scramble team

The Christmas Chronicle movies are modern classics. Evidence: my middle schoolers look forward to and choose to watch them every year. They do this with almost no other movies period.

I remember being pumped about the 2026 World Cup being in North America for the first time in 30 years, and now it's just another tin pot dictator bullshit spectacle. Once again, I'll just be watching the soccer.

Can we get a poll to understand how many people believe it's rude and inexcusable to tell the truth about the things they say and do? Second question, is it also completely fine for them to tell lies about others?

An HoA but just for landscaping, so we aren’t running blowers at different home throughout the neighborhood every damn day

So the Instagram algorithm is fucked, yeah? Nothing but trending content but as soon as I follow the account, I'll never see that shit again. Great system.

A pound of store brand coffee beans is $25?!

My soccer diet this weekend: - FCB v Athletic - Man City v Newcastle - Snohomish United v Eastside FC - NSC v Seattle United - NWSL Championship - LAFC v Vancouver - Arsenal v Tottenham - UW v Virginia

“Sitting at the intersection” is the most current tell of AI writing

All the Seattle RTO mandates should require your CEO to ride with you during a rainy dark commute to see if you're a danger to society.

"It's actually fine if middle aged men have sex with 15 year olds" is a position held by the totem of the "moderate" GOP. I need you to show that shit to all your republican moms.

I was skeptical, but turning off self view on Zoom really helps the calls feel more like real conversations. I even retain the information more effectively.

@dannyheifetz.bsky.social dude just match your socks to your pants if you don’t want to think about it, and only wear ankle socks or no shows with shorts.

Should we set up a new email for your campaign? Nah, I’m good:

Can’t believe the mascot opportunity International House of Pancakes is missing out on

It’s a real bummer that the technology revolution just turned out to be “doing the same bullshit the worst people have been doing for all of human history, just faster”

Pay this man and let’s keep him here forever

Featuring Qornholio