more proof shane gillis will never turn down a chance to be unfunny somewhere else he's woefully out of place

*calls into imaginary Jake Tapper talk radio show* me: hi jake, thanks for taking my call. 1st time caller. been a big fan since you shamelessly milked your kids' illnesses and drawings for clout points on twitter. anyhow, i'll just leave this clip here, hang up, and listen to your comments off air

keep thinking thru Thomson's decision to start Nola to figure the strategy & all I got is he's rather passive aggressive [as his actions & players say]. this is his way of telling the offense wake the f up or lose. Nola got little run support yrs ago, but that was a different team idk 🤷🏻‍♂️ #Phillies

want a canary in the coal mine economic prospect report for your personal situation? if you're on linkedin [lucky you if you're not bc fuck that place] do some back of the envelope math on whether you've appeared in fewer searches lately me: down 80% [ymmv depending on your career/job demand]

Someone should start asking why we’re hearing and seeing Stephen Miller so much all of a sudden.

negotiate 8 figure options & bonus deal that requires 1 day of employment to vest show up, do meet & greets, pick up some cool merch, attend Grace's - you know Grace, the nice person from door handle engineering - anniversary party, hide in the bathroom playing sudoku, retire @ end of day profit

Castellanos complaining about the park being silent should mean he doesn't get on the plane to LA and never wears a Phillies uniform again go home. enjoy the $20m guaranteed for 2026 while dreaming of perfect pitches in the dirt by your pool

this reminds me of that season of Married With Children where Bud Bundy was rapper Grandmaster B [dating myself here & also betraying both my white trash roots & lonely teen years where TV was my friend]

Saddled with $77m per yr on just Nola, Harper & Turner thru '30 & yup we're stuck [Turner is thru '33!] That's a huge commitment of $ that can't go elsewhere & no one will take any of 'em at those rates Middleton is a billionaire, but he's a low level billionaire. His lux tax pain isn't unlimited

my dead serious game 3 Phillies lineup: 2B - Stott SS - Sosa DH - Bader 1B - Bohm C - Realmuto RF - Castellanos CF - Marsh LF - Kepler 3B - Kemp P - Suarez this is not my autistic sarcasm - tho I see why you might think that! - this is how I see it I'll hang up & listen to your comments offline

Phillies Rob Thomson sending Robertson back out in the 7th in game 1, calling for a Stott bunt in game 2, announcing Nola as the game 3 starter think I figured out his plan

Rob Thomson has a tee time for Thursday afternoon at Merion #Phillies

Phillies top three thru 2 games: * BA .095 [2 for 21, both singles, bad!] * OBP .240 [add 4 BBs, 6 for 25, bad!] * 11 Ks [44%, very bad!] * 1 RBI * no runs scored * some defense issues @ shortstop Turner, Harper, Schwarber guaranteed $709.5m on their current deals, about $72.4m this year alone

no surprise sports are stupid and I'd do anything to shake my addiction to them

Harrison Bader I love you and will massage your groin if you need it #Phillies

i want a good reporter to walk right up to shadow GM and guy who always has a fucking opinion on spending money to win championships, Bryce Harper, and just say "well?!?" and hold the mic there until he answers #Phillies

finally scored a run after 14 scoreless innings i refuse to get excited 1981, 1983, 1993, 2007, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2022, 2023, 2024 [only going as far back as my memory & age, there were more before '81]

showing up at the divorce deposition in 2027

the Phillies fans at CBP are pathetic the boos weren't loud enough

game over Phillies season over thank you to Wheeler, Sanchez, Suarez, Luzardo, Duran, Banks, Sosa & Bader - the only players who understood the assignment for the season [and playoffs, where applicable]

Trea Turner's second big defensive fuck up of the series Sanchez's 24 pitch 2nd inning the other night can be partly attributed to botching a potential double play. those 24 pitches didn't allow Sanchez to go further butterfly flapped its wings and the hurricane happened

all the way up to .238 OBP BA a mere 0.058 single, 4 walks, 10Ks in 21 PA no runs scored or, obviously, driven in pathetic #Phillies [won't be seen, but posting it anyway]

Harper, if you don't drive at least one run in here you can never ever say anything about the Phillies owner spending money or who you want here ever again

that was bad base running we got lucky

Maths say Luzardo could go 9, but that's meaningless with the goose egg the Phillies offense is laying

it's terrible and a clear sign of sports fan trauma that I'm anticipating a good Luzardo pitching performance being wasted

is this thing on?

Phillies playoff top 3 OBP @ .167 single & 2 walks in 18 PAs, 9 Ks $709.5m well spent

it's terrible and a clear sign of sports fan trauma that I'm anticipating a good Luzardo pitching performance being wasted

the difference was obvious. on regular Wagoneers the tailgate & window trim was misaligned on only one side. on the Grand Wagoneer it was misaligned on both

we lost because of a missed 44yd FG, an incredibly stupid Milroe play [nobody with a brain would have called that - he doesn't belong on the field yet], and a defense that couldn't tackle someone hopping on one leg also, the Lumen Field name change was a curse #Seahawks

turned it off 😠 man my sports weekend suuuuucked [except the Union] #Seahawks

OMG!!! #Seahawks

the Seahawks aren't ready for the Milroe cute plays. get the fundamentals right first. what a stupid call, and now we're all but guaranteed to go into the half trailing

I'm sick but I went outside to do yardwork anyway because being within throwing distance of my partner watching her Eagles right now is a bad idea

[peeps Raiders score] remember, fellow Seahawks fans, those of us that started the fire Pete Carroll bandwagon early & often were right. dude has been washed for years. his physical fitness has jack shit to do with his coaching ability in today's nfl. if that correlated Andy Reid would be 0-424

good ev plate: forEVer that said, Polestar... hmmmm. maybe? at least it's not a Fisker Ocean... ... or a Nissan 😏

good morning im furious about sports

it was hacked and doesn't work

Schwarber in the post game interview "it's just one game" dude no it is not and this is a huge problem with this team. a 5 game series requires a serious sense of urgency especially when your offense is known for going cold. gotta win the home games because it's the one thing you do, and you didn't

does your Fisker Ocean need a friend?

You can criticize Thomson's management, and you'd be right, and you can question whether or not the bullpen is up to the task, and it'd be valid. But Turner, Schwarber, and Harper combined to go 1-10 with 1 walk and 6 stikeouts. Everything else is just additional minutia.

we gotta win 3 out of 4 with an offense that does jack shit when it matters for 3 years straight against a team built to win playoff games it's bleak when Bryce Harper retires without a ring I hope he's self aware enough to look in the mirror and know who the biggest reason is #Phillies

hate the Stott walkup song. it reminds me of losing more than winning now. needs to change #Phillies

that was stupid and awesome. nice job Kepler #Phillies

A SUPPORTERS’ SHIELD WINNING WIN 🤩 #DOOP

Shame watching Duran pitch when it doesn't matter #Phillies

let's go to the Phillies in the 8th, same question... three 5-3 after 8, not looking good

hey Schwarber every postseason at bat without a dinger is $5m less per year you can ask for in free agency, that's the rule, sorry, I didn't make it #Phillies