i don’t think you said any words that meant anything in that entire sentence

one time i died

eugh... this kinda stuff makes me feel like i sort of missed out on everything but not finishing up my copy of the game. i don't know, i've never really asked any other john about this? maybe it'd be different for them.

i don't actually know how old i am.

WE'RE THE SAME AGE, FUCK OFF.

how old are you by chance

im from 2009 man i'm too old for this shit

i don't know, maybe it's sort of different for you guys? i never really saw any of these familial connections as like... super real, or anything? jade is technically related to me because of some stuff i did in a lab once, but i wouldn't really introduce her to someone as my sister, you know?

who the fuck is freddy fazbear

i sort of forgot that you guys also have those names. like, those are my buddies names. the idea that there are some other group of people who also have them is kind of weird to me, even if it makes total sense? like, that's how families work, duh.

why are we called the harleyberts. why does her name get to go first.

slamming my head into a wall forty times until the voices stop

pm............

i guess i shouldn't be that surprised there isn't really anybody here at the moment.

my halloween #myhalloween

i yelled "chicken jockey" at the schindlers list rescreening and now i'm black listed from all AMC theaters

what if sburb was british

it's like i'm in some king of............. pesterquest.

i always did wonder how you got it to look so bulbous.......

maybe i should take up baking.

shave your head.

what if rose was bald

you didn't miss anything !!!!!!! jade is just being weird and i don't wanna see that.

im gonna go like

do you think she was always destined to be like that or is this a side effect of living on devilbeast island for 13 years

what is her fucking problem

i think it is sort of strange how many people i know that only have the one arm.

( It's not real blood, obviously. It would take something about as powerful as you are to get you as injured as you look, which is a pretty high bar. ) ( You still put on a show, though. Play dizzy, fall over, have your prop-glasses shatter against the floor. )

they make a bigger ibuprofen.........?

( covered head to fucking toe in blood . ) do you have any ibuprofen. i have a hjeadache.

the girls are fighting.

have you ever wanted a figurine of joker from the dark knight returns riding a kangaroo? you, too, can have useless statuettes clogging your room by keyspamming on the punch designix. also my name is john.

the elusive "hat man"

sometimes i get the feeling that everything that happened was my fault. that i could have, like... done something different, or been a better leader.

thank you, lord english.

hospital.

the voices in my head are back and they want me to drink oil off the floor

?

why did the apple explode when i ate it? is it stupid?

I'm opening up this post for discussion. Why do most of Sigmund Freud's photos depict him mid-smoke?

bluh. don’t remind me of that stuff, jeez… i am not trying to gloss over it or anything, but i am not very keen on talking about any of the family killing, world-destroying, corpse-smooching shenanigans that happened back then!

i am probably just going to reuse the candy corn vampire costume, again. or... maybe i won't dress up at all? i don't know. i haven't really been feeling it this season.

you're making it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal. i guess it always felt like this really pivotal moment to me, since it was the first time we ever spoke face to face. anyway, fthulhu said if i make a pact with him i can look as cool as you did back there.

yes, rose. the broodfester tongues have claimed me in your absence. you are not the only one making nefarious deals with the horrors that live in our dreams anymore.

maybe this is sort of weird, but i am kind of glad that i still don't really understand anything that rose says.

i cannot believe i used to get genuinely excited seeing this shitty logo appear on my television.

he is no longer with us.

happened to my buddy eric, once.

( ... )